Slender Man

Right, well first of all a movie based on a laughable urban myth or legend hardly makes for much of a foundation for success. Then top that off with having a movie that was downright laughable in script, plot, character-wise and fully devoid of scary moments, and you have the 2018 movie "Slender Man" from director Sylvain White.

I had to divide this movie into two, I couldn't suffer through the hardships of sitting down and watching it in one prolonged go. It was just that painful to bear witness to. I managed to endure 50 minutes in the first sitting, then had to give up. And I had essentially given up on the movie entirely, but my wife convinced me to watch the rest of it on the next day. So I did... And let's just say that the rest of the movie didn't do anything to lift up the ordeal that was the first 50 minutes.

The entire movie was wholly and fully devoid of anything that would be scary to a grown up, which leads me to believe that this movie was intended for the same kind of airheaded audience whom would also believe that the Slender Man legend is actually true.

The characters in the movie were unbelievably stupid, one-dimensional and completely devoid of any sense of intelligence and common sense. It was just painful to witness their actions and the way they milled about on the screen. Now, I am not saying that the actresses were subpar or inadequate. No, not at all. I am saying that the characters written for the story could just as easily have been portrayed by cardboard cutouts.

Once the movie ended, you didn't even fell that the movie had come full circle. It had just dragged you along by the nose for the entire duration that it ran for, without providing any kind of proper entertainment.

Do not succumb to the same mistake that I did when I went to watch this movie. The trailer actually made it look interesting. The actual movie, well let's just say that watching grass grow is far scarier...