...about a man who goes to a fair and there he sees people on a raised platform doing impressions of animal sounds; everyone is standing around and laughing and clapping at the contestants. So the man goes up on stage and starts squealing like a pig so hideously that everyone boos and jeers him. At this point he takes from behind his back a small pig whose ear he has been pinching to make the noises. "You fools!" he shouts, "See what you have been hissing?!", the moral of the story being, 'We often applaud the imitation and hiss the real thing'.
I believe that a similar effect is at work in this film and that is why the overall rating does not reflect how good it actually is.
My wife and I have been in the swingscene for the best part of 25 years; we have participated in television discussions and documentaries about it; I am certain it is fair to say that there is very little that we have not seen/experienced where that world is concerned.
Despite it being so long ago, we still remember VERY vividly the first few weeks and months of our foray into 'being more open' with each other and it certainly was not all plain sailing at the beginning! But we 'grew up' and we now take immense pleasure from our partner's pleasure... WITHOUT ALWAYS HAVING TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT. It is truly wonderful if you can do it. It - as, indeed, is everything else - is in the mind.
Who do we think we are that we constantly strive to control the sexuality of others? The irony is that it is often those closest to us - the ones we purport to care most about! - whom we subdue the most, when actually what we should be doing is revelling in their pleasures, their passions, their LIBERTIES. If you love something, set it free: isn't that how the saying goes? Life is so damn short and yet we spend most of it fighting about something that should be so wonderful! And the majority of people live only half a life - women in particular, whose sexuality is far more fluid, erotic, imaginative and powerful than that of men. Men have been frightened of female sexuality for much of their existence and have consequently sought to subjugate and control them. We should all be embracing the wonders of sex instead of battling each other all the time over it! Have experience, history and LIFE taught us NOTHING?! What sick animals we are.
But anyway...
The conversations in this film are VERY realistic. The acting is excellent. Not only did my wife and I have similar interactions in the early days but also, as we became more experienced, we were more often in situations where we were the 'dab hands' and the couples we met were the 'newbies' and I can tell you that we certainly have been in scenarios where we have witnessed the full Harper-like fury!! We have also been present when couples insisted on having tearful heart-to-hearts about the states of their marriages (and absolutely everything else for good measure!). It happens. It is awkward. It is real. There is nothing new under the sun.
Sex is powerful. Sex is beautiful. The desperately sorry fact is that most people do not understand it and even fewer know how to deal with it.
I think that the people who produced this film deserve a lot more credit for the way in which it was done. Having said that, it is a shame, in my opinion, that they decided to make the experienced couple also partake of 'soul-searching' and it was the only thing that didn't entirely ring true, given the way the evening panned out and the respective relationships, but the writers can be forgiven for this as, for the 'uninitiated', it makes for a 'better', more accessible film.
Also, there is only so much that a film can portray when it comes to emotions and I suspect that the situation the couples were in would have come across much better in a book, where the thoughts of each character could more easily be explored. I always find it useful to imagine a book of a film I am watching as it can explain certain 'holes' in stories (that some people take great delight in criticising!) and I would say that, overall, they presented the situations in this movie well.
And please do not forget that fable.
Thank you for one entertaining and true-to-life portrayal of the most powerful and amazing driving force known to man (and woman).
