- Frankie Heck: You know what? Maybe we've just said everything we've had to say to each other. You wanted to bring it. I wanted to bring it. Maybe there's just nothing to bring.
- Mike Heck: This is why we should never leave the couch. Let the cable company bring it.
- Frankie Heck: That's fine for now, but when the kids leave, it's just gonna be you and me, and we're not gonna have anything to talk about. Then we're just gonna be two old people staring at each other.
- Mike Heck: We won't be alone. Brick will be here jumbling up our meds.
- Axl Heck: So who'd you decide to go to prom with?
- Sue Heck: Actually, nobody. I am taking myself to prom. Just like Molly Ringwald in "Pretty in Pink".
- Axl Heck: Hm.
- Sue Heck: It's a very important movie from the '80s about self-acceptance.
- Brick Heck: Wait. I thought you were going with Darrin.
- Sue Heck: I was, but then I guess he decided he didn't want to go to prom after all. Oh, well. I'm off to prom. Will you take my picture?
- [hands Axl camera and he takes picture]
- Sue Heck: Thanks.
- [leaves]
- Brick Heck: I know I'm only twelve, but that was the saddest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
- Darrin: Hey, what's with you?
- Axl Heck: What's with me? I don't want to see your stupid face right now. That's what's with me.
- Darrin: That's not very nice to say that about someone's face. What did my face ever do to you?
- Axl Heck: You told my sister you were going to take her to prom, and then, like, you just cancel on her last minute?
- Darrin: What are you talking about? She has like a million dates.
- Axl Heck: No, she doesn't, Darrin. She went to prom alone. And she wanted to go with you, so nice going.
- Darrin: She doesn't even like me.
- Axl Heck: Oh, my God. Are you an idiot? Do you not see how she gets those weird googly eyes whenever you come over, and grins like an idiot? It's completely disgusting and makes me want to vomit, but, for whatever reason, she still really likes you, and you really hurt you. And that's not cool. You do not hurt my sister.
- Axl Heck: See? That's your problem, Brick. You are a rigid thinker. That's why I'm gonna end up ruling the world. All the big-time rich guys... Steve Jobs... other guys. They're all creative thinkers. Risk-takers.