G.B.F. (2013)

Sasha Pieterse: Fawcett Brooks

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fawcett Brooks : This is an 'A' and gay conversation, so kindly see your next Tuesday out of it.

• Tanner Daniels : You're doing it again.

  Fawcett Brooks : What?

  Tanner Daniels : That noise girls make when they see two gay guys together.

  Christian : Yeah, it's the same annoying sound people make when they see cute animals dressed in human clothes.

  Fawcett Brooks : "Ew." "Gross." "Barf." Is that better?

  Christian : Much.

• Fawcett Brooks : You wanna stay a four-pack queer forever? Let's go!

• Tanner Daniels : Is it just me or is she, like, the worst Mormon ever?

  Fawcett Brooks : It is SO not just you. She's cray-cray.

• Caprice Winters : This hack-tivist doesn't give a flying fairy about gay rights. She just did it to gain the advantage with you.

  Fawcett Brooks : Oh, you mean like what you did with that male-bate, Christian?

  Caprice Winters : Whatever! At least I tried to bride him with sex. I treated him like an actual human being and not some asexual, neutered little purse puppy.

  Fawcett Brooks : Come on, Tan. I've have enough bad dinner theater dramatics for one day. We've got a revolution to plan.

  Caprice Winters : Do not come for my craft, bitch!

  Fawcett Brooks : Do not come for my BITCH, bitch!

• [Sophie and Glenn approach the ticket table for Fawcett's "cool" prom] 

  Sophie Aster : [to Tanner]  I hear you and "Spigot" here are denying certain less-than-favorable people tickets.

  Fawcett Brooks : Relax, "So-Fat." You and "Memoirs of a Gay Nerd" are allowed to come. I'm giving you a temporary pass to the cool kid's table.

  Sophie Aster : We wouldn't come if you paid us, Fawcett - or should I say "Fascist?"

  Fawcett Brooks : It's your social funeral, sweetie.

  Sophie Aster : I'll start mourning now.

• Fawcett Brooks : As for queen, they've got us in a three-way.

• Fawcett Brooks : Don't think me presumptuous when I say "bottoms up."

  Tanner Daniels : Ugh! This tastes like ass!

  Fawcett Brooks : Mm-hm. Perfect for you.

• Tanner Daniels : I thought carbs were like gay kryptonite or something.

  Fawcett Brooks : Alcohol is the one exception. Duh. Now, down it, bitch.

• Tanner Daniels : You know, I actually started to believe that you were my friend, but what is this, really? Am I... am I just some tool to you, a... a... a wrench so that you can screw over Caprice and 'Shley?

  Fawcett Brooks : Wrenches don't screw things. God, you ARE gay.

• Fawcett Brooks : Well, I can't help it that the school is devoid of the gay. I mean, if there were some, they'd obvi worship me.

• Hamilton : We're history, which means you don't tell me what to do anymore.

  Fawcett Brooks : History - now, that's an appropriate word, because that's what you sex life is gonna be if you don't leave him alone. After all, I know things - tiny, little, pinky-sized details. Touch him again and you won't be able to get as much as a half-ass handjob from some flag-twirling color guard skank.

• Fawcett Brooks : I'd rather say hello to a new handbag than a friend or boyfriend, and they're much easier to return.

• Fawcett Brooks : I'm actually kind of brills when it comes to science-y stuff.

• Fawcett Brooks : Everyone can relax. The people who matter have arrived.

• Fawcett Brooks : Look, don't let Caprice pressure you. If you're really that nervous, then just blow off blowing what's-his-name and come to prom as MY arm candy.

• Mindie : Tan-pon, I heard you bulimed cuisine all over a Mormon.

  Fawcett Brooks : I thought I told you to always drink on an empty stomach.

• Mrs. Hogel : Listen, girls, I get the appeal. Now, I myself had a gay best friend once and, oh, we were roommates for many fruitful years, but now he's no longer with us.

  Tanner Daniels : Oh.

  Viola : Oh, damn.

  Soledad Braunstein : What? Where'd he go?

  Fawcett Brooks : He obvi died of the hiv, dumbass.

• Fawcett Brooks : If you can't take your boy-toy to prom, I will lead a school-wide boycott, and if they don't meet my - I mean, OUR - demands, then I will just host my own cooler alterna-prom.

• Student : [at the ticket table for the alterna-prom]  Can I have one, please?

  Fawcett Brooks : No.

  Viola : I'm sorry. You're not on our list of approved students.

  Tanner Daniels : What?

  Fawcett Brooks : This being an indie operation, we've got very limited space, but I'm sure Caprice's old-fashioned loser dance has plenty of tickets available.

• Fawcett Brooks : Look, I didn't make up these rules, but a fugly prom is a failed prom.

• Fawcett Brooks : Hey, Shley, you know Caprice calls you a ginger-snatch behind your back, right?

  'Shley Osgoode : She does?

  Caprice Winters : Well, Fawcett said your religion is just Scientology without birth control or famous people.