Superman vs. The Elite (2012 Video)

Pauley Perrette: Lois Lane

Quotes 

• Lois Lane : [watching a cartoon of Superman]  Wow, okay. Ha-ha. That's uh... Wow. It never occurred to me that the S stood for "silly."

  Clark Kent : It wasn't that bad.

  Lois Lane : When have you ever said "crime doesn't pay"?

• Lois Lane : If she knows anything, I'm the Martian Manhunter.

  Superman : There go all of my fantasies.

• Robot : The metahumans designated the Elite are not anywhere within the range of our scanners, Kal-El. Their message was downloaded through a post-dimensional probability channel.

  Lois Lane : I think my phone has an app for that.

  Superman : It means they're hiding between dimensions. Impossible to track.

  Robot : Though we are currently processing 3,500,405 Internet hits on the Elite.

  Superman : How many of them are informational?

  Robot : Zero.

  Lois Lane : How many of them contain the phrase: "These guys rock"?

  Robot : 2,800,000.

• Lois Lane : When...?

  Clark Kent : Dawn, I guess.

  Lois Lane : Why did you have to do this? Why can't you call someone else?

  Clark Kent : The Elite didn't take the fight to anyone else. They chose me.

  Lois Lane : No, you went after them!

  Clark Kent : They're slaughtering people and laughing about it.

  Lois Lane : Black can punch a hole through a mountain by thinking! The Hat tosses around demons like trained birds, and Pam...

  Clark Kent : They have to be stopped!

  Lois Lane : I think they can beat you!... I'm sorry. But they're willing to go places you won't. And they're so damn strong...

  Clark Kent : I heard a child say that he wanted to be in the Elite when he grows up, because it would be fun to kill bad guys. Fun to kill... People have to know that there's another way. They have to see that someone believes in humanity strongly enough to...

  Lois Lane : ...to die for them?

  [they kiss] 

• Lois Lane : It's a given that I am getting the scoop on these newbies, right?

  Clark Kent : Not unless you can type 5,000 words a minute.

  Lois Lane : Do not make me unleash my feminine wiles on you, Clark Kent.

• Superman : Sorry there's no movie.

  Lois Lane : Don't try to be cute. You're lucky I'm letting you fly me there. Once we hit the ground, it's every reporter for herself.

  Superman : Unless I get something really juicy.

  Lois Lane : Ah. Learning.

• Lois Lane : [watches Superman being kissed by Menagerie]  So was it the trashy outfit, or should I start gluing slugs to my face? Maybe an iguana.

  Clark Kent : It was a moment. Pam was overexcited.

  Lois Lane : Pam? One team up and she's Pam?

  Clark Kent : We saved a few hundred people, Lois. What can I say? They're new and... excitable.

  Lois Lane : That excitability better stay one-sided... though you don't exactly sound like a fan.

  Clark Kent : Not sure I am.

• Lois Lane : Clark. Clark. I called Kansas and Ma said you're not there. So pick up your stupid hologram thing or I'll kick your butt when you get home.

  Superman : Sweet-talker.

  Lois Lane : Yeah, well. Not really.

• Lois Lane : [after Superman defeats Atomic Skull]  You'll have your front page in fifteen minutes, chief. Yes, I'll spell-check.

• Lois Lane : You ever scare me like that again, I'll kill you.

  Superman : If I ever scare me like that again, it's a deal.

  Lois Lane : Can we go so I can kiss you now?

• Lois Lane : [leaving Clark a voicemail]  Just checking in to report absolutely nothing from British Intelligence, which is a major oxymoron right now.

• Efrain : So was this justice, Superman? Millions in property damage, helpless bystanders killed by a repeat metahuman felon who's now enjoying three square meals a day as a guest of the State. You had the power to end Atomic Skull's criminal career right there permanently. Why didn't you?

  Superman : I'm not anyone's judge and jury, Professor Baxter. Definitely not an executioner. My powers don't put me above the law.

  Efrain : A noble sentiment. But are you the Superman that the 21st century needs? Why not use your power to fix the world? Let me reiterate that I'm playing devil's advocate. I'm a huge fan.

  [laughter as he shows off his Superman wristwatch] 

  Terrence Baxter : Not embarrassing at all.

  Lois Lane : Your dad?

  [he nods] 

  Lois Lane : Could do worse.

• MI-5 Agent : As has been repeatedly stated, Ms. Lane, MI-5 does not confirm or deny...

  Lois Lane : Forget it. I got the message loud and clear, Double-0 Useless.

• Lois Lane : You have to protect your "S". The world is always watching Superman.

  Clark Kent : Well, not always.

  Lois Lane : Ooh. Smooth one, farm boy.

  [he leans down to kiss her when they hear an explosion nearby] 

  Lois Lane : So close.

• Lois Lane : Well, you can take the kid out of the cornfield...

  Clark Kent : The producer said it would be inspirational.

  Lois Lane : And who's profiting from all this so-called inspiration?

  Clark Kent : Proceeds from the cartoon go to charity, Lois. And yes, I've got someone watching. And yes, we have an iron-clad contract.

  Lois Lane : And do you get creative input?

  Clark Kent : [dodging]  Did I mention it all goes to charity?

• Perry White : "Telekinetic. Conjured a dragon out of thin air." Outstanding, Kent. Been on the phone with your super-source?

  Clark Kent : Tweeting, actually, sir.

  Perry White : Take point on this. Book a flight wherever you need to go. Take Lane if she's still talking to you.

  Lois Lane : Hope you like cold showers, Smallville.

• Vera Black : You're barking up the wrong forest. As far as MI-5 is concerned, there is no Manchester Black.

  Lois Lane : And are you here to tell me differently, or am I about to get shot in the face?

  Vera Black : [stepping out of the shadows]  The world needs to know what they're dealing with.

  Lois Lane : [she offers a flash drive]  Vera?

  Vera Black : Ches isn't the only one who went to work for the Queen and had his history wiped. Hope it helps.

  Lois Lane : Why?

  Vera Black : Because my brother is misguided and angry, but he saved my life. I'd like to save his, if I can.