The Woodmen

A Spoiler-free Review

Imagine a world where the forest is full of those guys who actually consume the supplements their favorite disgraced political commentator sells them to pay off their court bills.

If you've ever found yourself wondering "how long can a guy fail to act concerned inside a tent while another guy fails to sound menacing outside a tent?" Well, let me tell you, this movie has your answer: it's 10 minutes! 10 actual, consecutive minutes of just... that. A bland guy in a tent listening to a guy make noises outside the tent. 10 minutes. That's not hyperbole or exaggeration, it's almost exactly 600 unbroken seconds of a guy in a tent listening to a guy outside the tent.

If reading that paragraph was exhausting and repetitive, just imagine watching the scene it describes.

I can't recommend you actually spend your time watching this one.

-Josh from Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast.