Wild Oats (2016)

Shirley MacLaine: Eva

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eva : You know what they say about Columbus? They he didn't know where he was going and that when he got back he didn't know where he had been.

  Chandler : Oh, I know that feeling.

• Eva : I have listened to your bullshit for much longer than I want to listen to bullshit. I didn't teach tenth grade students for thirty five years for nothing. I could tell when they were lying even when they didn't know it!

• Eva : I stole it, but I need it back now.

• Eva : [In Spanish, subtitled in English]  I'm coming, my love! Daddy lost his balls in the jungle again. Mommy is coming!

• Eva : [Looking at her bank balance on her laptop]  If the insurance people call I can say "Why? Look, it's right there. I have nothing to hide." In the meantime we can sit around and enjoy watching the money. I *could* pay off Frank's hospital bills, and... er... the dishwasher is broken.

  Maddie : Yeah, with five million bucks you can even replace your shower curtain.

• Waitress : Hi! What can I get for you ladies today?

  Maddie : Would you... date someone in their sixties?

  Waitress : I'm sorry?

  Eva : Er... French toast. That really looked good.

  Maddie : Would you go out with a man in his sixties. It's a simple question. My husband just left me for someone who could be your twin.

  Waitress : Oh my god. Are you Maddie Reynolds?

  Maddie : Yeah.

  Waitress : My friend Clarissa just moved in with your ex-husband.

  Maddie : [is distraught]  Oh my god.

  Eva : We shall have a Spanish omelet.

  Waitress : It's really awkward. I'm really sorry. She is such a *bitch*.

  Maddie : I thought you said she was your friend. What does she see in him?

  Waitress : He kind of... looks like Patrick Stewart.

  [shrugs her shoulders] 

• Joyce : I'm sorry if I startled you. I just called the bank in Connecticut and talked to the manager, and he has cleared the cheque.

  Maddie : What?

  Eva : All of it?

• Crystal : She is completely confused. You can't arrest her. That would... that would be like executing a retarded person.

  Eva : Chrystal!

  Crystal : I mean a really really sweet one.

• [repeated line] 

  Eva : Shame on you, Carlos Variola!