The Pimp Primer

It takes more than just rounding up a cast of porn superstars to make a movie, even a 1-day wonder. But through the magic of video reissue mavens, in this case the unpicky After Hours Cinema boys, almost anything that ever passed through sprocket holes is likely to turn up on DVD for our latter-day amusement.

Narrator describes the duties of a pimp, trying vainly to evoke a "true story" atmosphere. This is mere documentary-style window-dressing that fails to elevate standard softcore sex footage. Due to its 1970 date of production, the fans do get to sample full-frontal nudity and split-beaver shots, then all the rage.

The direct sound dialog is throwaway, with moaning & groaning emphasized. A crappy library music score is no help whatsoever in maintaining interest. After an OK lesbian scene, filmmakers desperately dish out that old standby, an orgy, involving 10 players, but it's too late to serve as a wakeup call. For the umpteenth time, a not-so-clever ploy at the finale has "THE END" displayed superimposed on a girl's bare behind.

Adding insult to the potion, AHC transcribes this junker from a badly damaged print. Some of my all-time favorites including Sue Peters and Uschi Digard are completely wasted here, plus Tommy Toole (the star that year of the classic TOMATOES), inevitable John Holmes, hard-working John Dullaghan, and representing the over-the-hill generation, the obnoxious Michael Donovan O'Donnell.