- Louis C.K.: I was flying about a week ago. And I was in the airport, I saw this really old man, and he's on a wheelchair...
- [addressing the camera man, who is a foot from his face]
- Louis C.K.: I can fucking hear that shit, so back the fuck off.
- [laughs]
- Louis C.K.: I can hear it in your headsets. Sorry to fuck up the entire show for that, but I can hear: "Get closer to him. No, it's fine. Get closer to him. He won't mind."
- Louis C.K.: You know what hilarious means? Hilarious means so funny that you almost went insane when you heard that shit. It's so funny that is almost ruined your life. You're homeless now because you can't cope or reason anymore. Because that hilarious thing just shattered your mind and three months later you got shit and leaves in your hair and you're drenched in pee in the gutter. That's how funny hilarious is.