Perfect Match

Fans of generic gonzo sex must have flocked to this big-deal collaboration between two unlikely Adult companies: Red Light District and Vivid Entertainment. It's the usual garbage made in the shadow of nefarious Max Hardcore: women proudly proclaiming their sluthood by demonstration rather than mere verbal assertions (in Adult Cinema the word slut has morphed into a term of praise, usually self-praise).

The chief self-praiser here is actor-director Manuel Ferrara, so full of himself it is surprising he let anyone else share the screen with him. Stupid premise is that Mr. MF High and Mighty cannot be bothered, by dumb cameraman/tout Jake Malone, with seeing superstar Briana Banks about casting her in his latest project - he rejects her out of hand immediately asserting his company Red Light District's aversion to "fake tits".

Hardly an in-joke, the much nip-and-tucked BB persists, at Jake's urging, and we watch endless gonzo scenes of Manuel and his mighty men (from central porn casting) hump natural women, beauties including Flower Tucci, Tiffany Rayne, almost flat-chested Courtney Simpson and, totally wasted, the great Brianna Love, all while BB keeps posing in unflattering wide-angle close-ups (supposedly shot by Jake, who keeps up a running conversation with the star) and having a gang-bang all to convince Manuel to hump her, which he does in Gonzo World's concept of a happy ending. To be more explicit, a happy ending in this universe consists of an actress with her face, especially eyes, covered in drippy spunk, smiling and waving at the camera in joy.

Ferrara's pose reminded me of his contemporary and icon in the Gay Adult Cinema world, Michael Lucas, but the French stud lacks the command and presence of his Russian Gay counterpart, and merely looks stupid in such a pose. BB lets on that it's been 5 years since she did gonzo, as she's under Vivid contract, but this crappy video lets her d.p. it (including a specialty of 2 in the pussy) for her fans and generally make a fool of herself. Fortunately, in the last year she has staged a comeback as an extremely well-preserved MILF actress in slightly better projects.

Give me a Vivid feature from the '90s into early 2000s anytime, running maybe 75 minutes, in the place of this ridiculous 162-minute exercise in futility. If you've seen Ferrara's routine act once, you may, like me, have seen it 400 times.