Relaxing Old Footage with Joe Pera (2020 TV Special)

Joe Pera: Joe Pera

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines; an underwater view of a fish, which turns toward the camera] 

  Joe Pera : [narrating]  Hello. My name is Joe Pera, and don't worry, no one turned me into a cardinal fish. I just gave myself a bad haircut and prefer you watch this aquarium footage I had saved instead. Well, not so much saved as unused, much of it because it's too relaxing.

• [an overhead view of a baseball diamond] 

  Joe Pera : There's some more footage of fish I'm excited to show you, but I wanted to show you this first. Not because my old idea to use empty baseball diamonds for outdoor church is more relevant than ever. It's just nice to watch the groundskeeper lay down the chalk lines. He's giving boundary to the boundaryless and it's kind of comforting to watch in these times.

  [the groundskeeper starts laying down the chalk lines] 

  Joe Pera : Steady... steady... steady... When we were learning geometry in third grade, my teacher explained that, unless it intersects with another line, a line will continue on indefinitely, even if the paper ends. With graph paper, pencil, and a little arrow, I could create something that continued forever. What incredible power for an eight-year-old.

• Joe Pera : But instead of going down that path why don't I give you some good news. Tree TV is considering a merger with Waterfall TV. And I'd say it's pretty likely, because I am the CEO of both.

• Joe Pera : I don't know about you, but lately I've been doing a lot of sitting. So much that my back has begun to get sore. It stinks. I thought I was good at sitting.

• Joe Pera : Someday, though, I'll make a program with only trees. Maybe even start my own network. Tree TV. No people. Just trees. Maybe every now and then we'd show an NBA game, but that's it. I can't be the only one who'd prefer to watch Old Tjikko, the nine thousand year old spruce, after reading the news. The downside is that my network won't provide much opportunity for human actors, but as we reassess what is essential, I wonder if actors are.

• Joe Pera : I recently discovered a great simple recipe I'd like to share with you. It's called maple syrup toast. Basically you take a slice of bread, toast it, and then cover it in real maple syrup. If you do it just right, it's better than a steak for me. Not only that, but you can eat it for up to two meals a day without getting sick. The syrup is energy. Just please don't eat it while you're driving. It's so good you might crash.

• Joe Pera : Anyhow, I've been taking a lot of comfort lately in the second law of thermodynamics. Usually I don't, but right now it's nice to know that all natural processe are irreversible and thing are always moving forward.