And all the wishful thinking I could muster, and all these inaccurate reviews that ultimately convinced me to buy it, can't change the fact that Splatter Movie: The Directors Cut is a terrible movie. Not original, not even remotely clever. Terrible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. A movie within a movie, within a movie. I'm sure there's a way to make this concept work, or at least watchable. Yet, not one second of this sleep-aid resembles Horror. I don't care if you only dig big-budget Horror, like The Grudge, or only B-Horror like Basket Case. All Horror fans should agree that Splatter Movie: The Director's Cut is an embarrassment to us all. But apparently, we don't. That is, unless the other reviews were written by people involved with this joke of a movie, which would explain a lot. Anyway, the story. Yeah, so, A Horror movie is being made. The director of this movie is actually the director of this movie, and certain people are playing "themselves" to put some kind of a reality spin on things, I would imagine. There's a killer on the set (or is there?), and there's also a lot of killing scenes being shot, and they appear to be "real", but never are (or are they?) And blah, blah, blah, you'll hate this movie, so, why keep reading?
Certainly nothing against female directors. Chicks making Horror/gore is just plain cool, and always will be, but this chick tried way too hard to make something clever and complex, and ended up with something completely devoid of style, personality, or even a shred entertainment value, and I don't care what these people say, this movie is not funny (or amazing). It really is a shame, too, because, like I said, I really wanted to like this movie, and these misleading reviews really had me looking forward to some refreshing, modern, B-Horror. And what do I get? Boredom. Well, boredom, and Debbie Rochon. One would assume that the presence of the queen of the B's might improve this garbage. If anything, this garbage hurts her credibility. Believe me when I say you're better off watching Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker. 1/10
