Bridget Everett: Y'know, I'm good friends with
[name bleeped]
Bridget Everett: and that's...
Jerry Seinfeld: I don't like him. At all.
[Bridget laughs]
Jerry Seinfeld: In fact, I have a particular feeling about him. I had kind of forgotten about him...
Bridget Everett: Mm-hmm.
Jerry Seinfeld: ...And then there was a little article about him in the paper, and even in that, there was a veiled referenced to his dislike of what I did.
Bridget Everett: Really.
Jerry Seinfeld: Didn't have my name, of course. He used to rail against comedians, 'cause they weren't as wild and dangerous as he was, cause he sucked.
[Bridget laughs]
Jerry Seinfeld: Okay? He wasn't funny.
Bridget Everett: Yeah.
Jerry Seinfeld: And that's why he didn't get anywhere.
Bridget Everett: Yeah.
Jerry Seinfeld: Period.
Bridget Everett: This feels, I feel very tense right now.
Jerry Seinfeld: He sucked. 'Cause in comedy, nobody gives a fuck...
Bridget Everett: Yeah.
Jerry Seinfeld: ...If you're cool, if you're lame. If you're funny, you win. If you're not funny, you don't. And he's not funny. That's why he had to do that stupid fucking voice, because you have no fucking act.
Bridget Everett: [still laughing] I feel very stressed out.
Jerry Seinfeld: Yeah, you can tell him, by the way, all that. And that's why he didn't like me, because I could actually do it. I can do it, I can do comedy.
Bridget Everett: Yeah...
Jerry Seinfeld: He can't.
Bridget Everett: [laughing] God...
Jerry Seinfeld: And that's why he doesn't like me. That's what that's about.
Bridget Everett: Oh my God. I've never seen you like this before.
Jerry Seinfeld: Yeah, I've never been like this before. And I'll tell you where else it came from...
Bridget Everett: Everything's fine, I'm just gonna hold this...
[grabs a clay sculpture from the window and holds it]
Jerry Seinfeld: Stupid fucker. You're not scary or dangerous, you're just weak on stage, that's what you are. You're weak, you're a weak act.
Bridget Everett: I love him.
Jerry Seinfeld: You can love him. He's gonna need the love. He's not gonna get it from the public. Because you don't have any skills. You don't have any talent.
[laughs]
Jerry Seinfeld: You've got some people you don't care for.
Bridget Everett: Yeah, I've got a couple.
