- Kevin Kingston: Do you have any Justin Timberlake or Clay Aiken?
- Nick Persons: [looks up at the sky] Lord, these kids are ethnically challenged. You know you could get shot by playing those CDs in my old neighborhood.
- Kevin Kingston: We're not ghetto!
- Nick Persons: [wanting new tires] Look, I'll pay you extra. See? Yao Ming! Rookie card.
- Car Mechanic: Oh, I see. You think because I am Chinese that you can get me to do anythi-OOOO! Hologram!
- [a pair of young shoplifters enter the store, one of them walks up to the counter where Nick awaits]
- Shoplifter: Hey, Mister, you got any Yu-Gi-Oh?
- Nick Persons: What you think?
- Shoplifter: You got any Dragonball GT?
- Nick Persons: [furiously] Look. You come in here every day, askin' the same questions. We ain't got no Pokémon, no Digimon, no Buffy, no SpongeBob, no Beanie Babies...
- [sees the other shoplifter trying to take a rare baseball card]
- Nick Persons: ... and no shoplifters!
- [chucks a football at the shoplifter, who drops the card, then leaves with his partner]
- Nick Persons: Now, get! Both of y'all! Get!
- [they spitefully lick the glass door before running away]
- Nick Persons: [on a horse next to a moving train] I'm gonna have to hop on!
- Kevin Kingston: I don't think that's a good idea!
- Nick Persons: Says who?
- Kevin Kingston: Says the guy who put all that junk on the road!
- Nick Persons: Oh snap!
- [from trailer]
- Kevin Kingston: [from trailer]
- [in the car]
- Kevin Kingston: I have to go to the bathroom.
- Lindsey Kingston: I'm sure the carpet's absorbent.
- Nick Persons: Oh, damn! Boy, didn't you hear what I just said?
- Lindsey Kingston: Ooh, you just swore.
- Nick Persons: You're damn right I swore, that's about $400 dollars worth of damage to my new car!
- Lindsey Kingston: That's twice! Now you have to put two dollars in the swear jar.
- Lindsey Kingston: [interrupting Nick and Suzanne talking about going out on the porch] What is going on out here?
- Kevin Kingston: Mom, where have you been? Miss Mable burned our dinner, fell asleep, and she just keeps farting!
- Nick Persons: Come on, you're driving like a old lady.
- Ernst: No, no, you watch. Ernst knows how to drive.
- [Nick and the kids sit in a diner]
- Nick Persons: Want some chocolate cake? It's world famous.
- Kevin Kingston: Mom says I shouldn't *have* sugar.
- Nick Persons: [to Lindsey] What about you? It'll make your mouth all chocolatey.
- Lindsey Kingston: No, thanks.
- [shakes her head, gets up and walks out the door; Nick smiles at Kevin, who shakes his head and follows his sister outside; Nick grabs Galactico, sips his milkshake and goes to the door; Kevin and Lindsey are at the bottom of the stairs, looking out ahead; Nick comes out]
- Nick Persons: Hey. You forgot something.
- [holds up Galactico; Kevin and Lindsey look at him, then turn away]
- Nick Persons: Sorry about what happened today. I really wish you guys didn't have to see that.
- Kevin Kingston: [turns to look at Nick] He used to look at *me* like that.
- Nick Persons: I know, man. When he hugs you, you thought he'd never let you go.
- [Kevin nods]
- Nick Persons: They make you laugh, they tell you they love you, and then one day they just never come back.
- Lindsey Kingston: I'll bet you know all about leaving, don't you, player?
- [shakes her head]
- Nick Persons: Know what? As a matter of fact, I do... but only because the same thing happened to me when I was your age. Yeah, my pops walked out on us too.
- [Lindsey's eyes widen]
- Nick Persons: It's a shame that anybody can call theyself a father, but listen. *He's* the failure in this, not you. *He's* the one that's gonna miss out, and I just hope it don't take you guys as long as it took *me* to figure that out... 'cause it's true. You guys is some cool kids.
- [Lindsey smiles at him, as does Kevin]
- Nick Persons: There you go.
- [hands Galactico to Kevin]
- Nick Persons: Come on, let's get outta here.
- [first lines]
- Kevin Kingston: Mom says we have to be polite to her dates, and we will. If he makes it to the door.
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