- Becky: Why are you talking to me?
- Jenna Rink: Why not? We are neighbors, right?
- Becky: But you usually ignore me.
- Jenna Rink: I like your shoes.
- Becky: Thanks. I like your dress.
- Jenna Rink: That's because I have these incredible boobs to fill it out!
- Jenna Rink: Who are these women? Does anyone know? I don't recognize any of them. I want to see my best friend's big sister, the girls from the soccer team, my next door neighbor, real women who are smart and pretty and happy to be who they are. These are the women to look up to. Let's put life back into the magazine. And fun and laughter and silliness. I think we all - I think all of us - want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on because maybe we didn't realize how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we don't, we won't recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes.
- Jenna Rink: [in the elevator] I'm Jenna, by the way.
- Becky: [disdainfully] Yeah, I know. I'm Becky.
- Jenna Rink: How old are you, anyway?
- Becky: 13.
- Jenna Rink: Me too!
- [Becky gives Jenna a strange look]
- Jenna Rink: Used to be, anyway.
- Jenna Rink: [panicked and confused] Wait, listen to me. I'm 13!
- Lucy Wyman: Jenna, if you're gonna start lying about your age, I'd go with 27.
- Jenna Rink: Matty.
- Matt Flamhaff: Yeah?
- Jenna Rink: Arrivederci.
- Matt Flamhaff: I'll see you.
- Jenna Rink: Matt!
- Matt Flamhaff: Yeah?
- [Jenna gives him a grave look]
- Matt Flamhaff: Au revoir.
- Beverly Rink: Well, Jenna, I know I made a lot of mistakes, but I don't regret making any of them.
- Jenna Rink: How come?
- Beverly Rink: Because if I hadn't have made them, I wouldn't have learned how to make things right.
- Jenna Rink: I don't know what Lucy said to you about me. But I want you to know that whoever she was talking about wasn't me.
- Matt Flamhaff: It doesn't matter what Lucy said. I stopped trusting her after she stole my Pop Rocks in the third grade.
- Jenna Rink: You want to know a secret?
- Matt Flamhaff: Yeah.
- Jenna Rink: You're the sweetest guy I've ever known.
- Lucy Wyman: Okay, you can wipe the doe-eyed-Bambi-watching-her-mother-get-shot-and-strapped-to-the-back-of-a-van look from your face. I talked to Trish Sackett yesterday. It's okay, Jenna; I know all about your little deal. It's a sweet little deal, actually. Editor-in-chief if you help them hit a million copies? So you would give them tips. Not bad. I just wish I would have thought of it.
- Arlene: I have your urgent messages.
- Jenna Rink: Let's hear them.
- Arlene: Well, okay. Emily Pratt called and wanted me to tell you, "I can't believe you scooped my story on Vivienne Tam, you backbiting little bitch. That was a new level of sleaze, even for you. I hope you die in one of her casual pantsuits."
- Jenna Rink: Oh, my God, that was so mean.
- Arlene: Miss Lewis called. She said, "I hope you choke on your own bile, you pretentious, conniving snake."
- Jenna Rink: Maybe I should read them.
- Jenna Rink: What happened?
- Matt Flamhaff: I don't know. I can pretty much peg it to your 13th birthday party, when you were in the closet playing that game. Spin the Rapist?
- Jenna Rink: [suddenly remembers] Seven Minutes in Heaven. Everybody ditched. And that is the last thing I remembered.
- Matt Flamhaff: Jenna, what are you... Why are you here?
- Jenna Rink: Matty, I told you - something really weird is happening. Yesterday was my 13th birthday and then, and then today I woke up and I'm this, and you, I mean - you're that! You get it?
- Matt Flamhaff: [long pause] Are you high? You been smoking pot? Doing X? Fallen into a K-Hole? You doing drugs?
- Matt Flamhaff: I have realized these past few days that... you can't just turn back time.
- Jenna Rink: Why not?
- Matt Flamhaff: I moved on. You moved on. We've gone down different paths for so long. We made choices. I chose Wendy. We care about each other, you know.
- Becky: I like your bag.
- Jenna Rink: Thanks, but you should come by sometime. I got like a zillion of them.
- Becky: [suddenly surprised] Really?
- Jenna Rink: Yeah, it would be totally cool. Becky, can I ask you something?
- Becky: Yeah, sure.
- Jenna Rink: Can you tell I'm wearing underwear? 'Cause I totally am.
- Becky: I think that's kinda the point!
- Jenna Rink: [suddenly surprised] Hey! You got arm hair!
- Matt Flamhaff: Never got quite that reaction before.
- Arlene: Eminem's on the phone; he wants an answer now.
- Jenna Rink: [thinking Arlene mentions M&Ms] Umm... plain.
- [Arlene looks at her strangely]
- Jenna Rink: Peanut? Plain!
- [Jenna has invited the most popular girls in school to her 13th birthday party]
- Young Matt: You know, I can't believe you invited those clones.
- Young Jenna Rink: They're my friends.
- Young Matt: The Six Chicks are not your friends, okay?
- Young Jenna Rink: Well, almost. And someday, I'm gonna BE a Sixth Chick.
- Young Matt: There are six of them, Jenna, that's the whole point. There can't be a seventh Sixth Chick. It's just mathematically impossible. Besides you're way cooler than they are, they're totally unoriginal.
- Young Jenna Rink: I don't want to be original, Matty, I want to be cool.
- Lucy Wyman: [at a huge party] Speaking of disasters, what is she doing here?
- Jenna Rink: Who?
- Lucy Wyman: Sparkle's editor-in-chief, Trish Sackett. Twelve o'clock and headed our way.
- Trish Sackett: [smugly] Hi, girls. Our J. Lo issue is selling like hotcakes. How's yours doing?
- Lucy Wyman: [sarcastically] My God, Trish, are things so bad you had to come to our party to eat free food? Please, put some crab in your purse for later.
- Trish Sackett: You might want to keep some of that biting wit for your magazine. Or you could change the name "Poise" to something more appropriate... like Poison or Pitiful. Whatever's more pathetic.
- Jenna Rink: You know what? You are rude and mean and sloppy and frizzy. I don't like you at all.
- Trish Sackett: Well, fortunately, I don't care about being liked. I care about winning.
- Jenna Rink: [standing on the sidewalk] Oh my gosh, it's the naked man!
- Alex Carlson: [from an open window of a hotel, several stories up] Hey beautiful!
- Jenna Rink: [flattered] He thinks I'm beautiful?
- Lucy Wyman: Well, he should. He's your boyfriend.
- Jenna Rink: My boyfriend?
- Lucy Wyman: Can you get in the car?
- Jenna Rink: I can't get in the car, I don't get in the car with strangers.
- Lucy Wyman: Please get in the car, we're gonna be late.
- Jenna Rink: I can't get in the car, I don't know you.
- Lucy Wyman: Just get in the car.
- Jenna Rink: I don't get in the car with strangers!
- Lucy Wyman: You're being a little paranoid.
- Beverly Rink: Just because you don't look like those girls in Poise magazine doesn't mean you're not beautiful in your own way.
- Young Jenna Rink: I don't want to be beautiful in my own way. I want to look like these people.
- Beverly Rink: Oh, those aren't people, honey. Those are models.
- Young Jenna Rink: Look at this. "Thirty and flirty and thriving. Why the thirties are the best years of your life." I wanna be thirty.
- Beverly Rink: [chuckles] Well, you will be, honey. But right now, you're my beautiful 13-year-old.
- Lucy Wyman: Okay, Jenna, repeat after me: I am Jenna Rink, big time magazine editor.
- Jenna Rink: I am?
- Lucy Wyman: Say it.
- Jenna Rink: I am Jenna Rink, big time magazine editor.
- Lucy Wyman: I'm a tough bitch.
- [Jenna looks away, embarrassed to say it]
- Lucy Wyman: Say it!
- Jenna Rink: I am a tough
- [whispers]
- Jenna Rink: bitch.
- Lucy Wyman: I'm gonna walk into this office and not let anyone know I'm hung over.
- Jenna Rink: But that's just it. I'm not hung over...
- [Lucy gives her a pointed look]
- Jenna Rink: [sighs] I'm gonna walk into this office and not let anyone know I'm hung over.
- Lucy Wyman: [proudly] Because the future of Poise depends on me.
- Lucy Wyman: [regarding security breaches at the company] Richard, we are hiring new printers, we're installing passwords. We're building firewalls on all the computers. Jenna fired Charlotte yesterday.
- Richard Kneeland: [to Jenna] Did you? Good. I guarantee she had friends at Sparkle. She was always taking notes.
- Lucy Wyman: She was a secretary.
- Richard Kneeland: Yeah, whatever.
- Jenna Rink: Matt, stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve it. Do you know what kind of person I am now, I mean - do you know who I am right now? I don't have any real friends. I did something bad with a married guy. I don't talk to my mom and dad. I'm not a nice person. And the thing is - I'm not 13 anymore.
- Yearbook Photographer: Swing around this way just a little bit, Gina. Come on, right there. That's good.
- Young Jenna Rink: It's Jenna.
- Yearbook Photographer: Look over here, Gina. Right here.
- Young Jenna Rink: IT'S JENNA!
- [Photographer takes photo and it comes out all wrong]
- Jenna Rink: [signed on a wall mounted photo of Madonna] "Jenna girl, Margaritas anytime. Love you, Madonna." I'm friends with Madonna?
- Richard Kneeland: Jenna, my balls - Excuse my French - are in an iron vise. Corporates are twisting and squeezing like a bunch of dominatrixes on steroids, and now Lucy is presenting her own redesign without you. Could you tell me what is going on?
- Jenna Rink: What is going on is that you are going to have more choices.
- Richard Kneeland: With all due respect to Lucy, I'm far more anxious to know what you've been working on.
- Jenna Rink: Thank you.
- Richard Kneeland: I'm not trying to compliment you. I'm trying to pressure you.
- Jenna Rink: How long until your balls get totally squished?
- Richard Kneeland: Hopefully never, I'm rather attached to my balls.
- Jenna Rink: Can they hang in there till five?
- Young Tom-Tom: Sorry, Beave-head. Majority rules.
- Young Matt: Narrow, man. Narrow, hopeless people.
- Young Tom-Tom: Freak.
- Young Matt: Robot.
- Matt Flamhaff: [to Jenna] You know, you don't always get the dream house, but you get awfully close.
- Pete Hansen: [suddenly grabs her, and starts kissing her] What's wrong, Pookie?
- Jenna Rink: [disgusted] Pookie? Uh... Pukie! You're married, and to a girl I work with!
- Pete Hansen: Well, that didn't stop us from rattling some desk drawers last week.
- Lucy Wyman: Honey, I know I'm your best friend, but the slip-dress is a little '97... unless it's retro.
- Jenna Rink: [surprised] Are you really my best friend?
- Lucy Wyman: [wondering why Jenna is acting so strange] You're pregnant.
- Jenna Rink: [horrified] Oh, no! Oh, my God, no!
- Lucy Wyman: [relieved] Thank God. You scared me. What did you do last night?
- Jenna Rink: [nervous] See, that's just it. Something really strange is happening. I slept in an apartment I've never seen before... and there was a naked man in my shower and I saw his thingy.
- Lucy Wyman: [sarcastically] Oh, God. Not his *thingy*.
- [to driver]
- Lucy Wyman: Driver, could you please pull over, since we're here?
- Jenna Rink: [on the sidewalk, ringing the buzzer for an upstairs apartment] Hello! Yeah. Hi, this is Jenna and I'm looking for Matt. I don't know if you're him, but if you lived on Spruce Street and if your favorite shirt is a gray velour one, I need to speak to you right now.
- Matt Flamhaff: [talking over speaker-system, poor reception] Hello? Hello? You know what? I got none of that. But if you're here from Ming Gardens food delivery, ring twice. If not, I really don't want it.
- [Jenna walks upstairs and knocks on the door to apt. 2-B; Matt opens the door and sees Jenna]
- Matt Flamhaff: You're not Chinese.
- Jenna Rink: [to the 13-year-old girls at her sleepover] What is that attitude? We are young. Heartache to heartache, we stand. Love is a battlefield.
- Young Matt: Hey, Jenna.
- [takes a picture of him and Jenna]
- Young Jenna Rink: Matt, please. No more pictures.
- Young Matt: Come on, it's your 13th birthday. We gotta document it.
- [Jenna returns to 1987, and has a second chance as "Crazy for You" by Madonna plays in the background]
- Young Tom-Tom: [to Matt; snobbishly] Jenna's waiting for you in the closet.
- [Young Lucy goes upstairs; Young Matt goes to closet, and opens door]
- Young Jenna Rink: [happily] Matty!
- [pounces on Young Matt and passionately kisses him]
- Young Matt: [impressed] Wow. You really know what you're doing.
- Young Jenna Rink: Come on.
- Young Tom-Tom: [takes scarf; snobbishly] Sorry, I forgot my scarf.
- Young Jenna Rink: [angrily snatches Lucy's homework, and rips it up] You know what? You can be the pot and kettle all by yourself from now on,
- [splashes Young Lucy's drink on her dress]
- Young Jenna Rink: biatch.
- [to Matt]
- Young Jenna Rink: Come on, Matt.
- Young Tom-Tom: [to Young Jenna; incensed and confused] What did you call me?
- Young Jenna Rink: We're gonna be late.
- Young Matt: For what?
- Young Jenna Rink: You'll see.
- Young Jenna Rink: [as the Six Chicks walk up to her and Matt] Hi, Tom-Tom.
- Young Tom-Tom: Hey, Jenna.
- [to Matt]
- Young Tom-Tom: Hi, Beaver. How's everything at the dam?
- [back to Jenna]
- Young Tom-Tom: So, how did yours come out, Rink?
- Young Jenna Rink: Not so good.
- Young Tom-Tom: [pretending to agree] Yeah, mine aren't so hot either.
- Six Chick: Nuh-uh! Tom-Tom, yours are great!
- Six Chick: Yours are the best.
- [Tom-Tom shows her pictures to Young Jenna]
- Young Jenna Rink: God, you're so photogenic.
- [first lines]
- Boy: Move it, dorkus.
- Young Matt: [to Jenna] I'll meet you out front, okay?
- Young Tom-Tom: Do whatever you want. It's not like she needs a play-by-play.
- [the Six Chicks laugh; Matt passes through the girls]
- Young Tom-Tom: Freakazoid.
- Six Chick: See ya.
- Young Tom-Tom: Uh, Jenna, can I talk to you a tiny second? So I told Chris Grandy me and the Six Chicks were going to your party tonight. And he said he wanted to come with.
- Young Jenna Rink: Really?
- Young Tom-Tom: Yeah, it's too bad we can't make it, 'cause we really wanted to.
- [turns to her friends]
- Young Tom-Tom: Didn't we, girls?
- Six Chick: We totally did.
- Six Chick: So, so much.
- Six Chick: We're so sorry.
- Young Tom-Tom: Yeah, Miss Measly's totally up our butts with this group project proposal. And Chris is going to come over and help us out... so, I guess he can't come either.
- Young Jenna Rink: I could write your report for you.
- Young Tom-Tom: Fabuloso.
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