- Seto Kaiba: Anyone who's late for registration will be disqualified. Mokuba, make sure Wheeler's late.
- Joey Wheeler: I'm such a sensitiiiiivvve guy!
- Tristan Taylor: ...When you're not being a pain...
- Tea Garnder: Which is... most of the time...
- Joey Wheeler: Ah, my adoring fans...
- Seto Kaiba: Hmm. Blah-blah-blah. Don't you get tired of making the same speech every time you're faced with a challenge? Stop saving the world and get a hobby!
- Seto Kaiba: When will thse people learn this is only a card game?
- [looks at the Millennium Eye on his desk, and holds it up to eye level]
- Seto Kaiba: What are you looking at? You think you can change my mind? I am *not* flying to Egypt.
- Seto Kaiba: Look at me, I'm talking to some antique golden eyeball.
- Solomon Moto: I play the magic card, Ancient City!
- Joey Wheeler: What is that thing?
- Solomon Moto: Well, as the card's name suggests, it's an ancient city.
- Joey Wheeler: I don't say this as often as I should Tea... but you're one of the bravest people I know.
- Seto Kaiba: If you dorks start holding hands, I'm outta here.
- Joey Wheeler: Maybe you wouldn't say that if you actually *had* any friends!
- Tristan Taylor: Dude, that was harsh.
- Joey Wheeler: Oh, like he didn't deserve it?
- Yami Bakura: Not only are you about to lose this duel; but when I'm through with you, you'll lose so much more...
- [Joey goes to eat a mushroom growing on a tree]
- Yugi Moto: No, Joey, wild mushrooms are poisonous!
- Mai Valentine: [enters] So do us all a favor and let him eat it!
- Tristan Taylor: [trapped in a monkey's body; Joey and Duke are steering a rail car] Speed it up, you wimps!
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Easy for you to say, Mr. My-Arms-Are-Too-Short-To-Drive!
- Tristan Taylor: [thinking] I'll ask Serenity if she wants to look at the romantic view with me.
- Duke Devlin, Raphael, Valon: Hey, Serenity, want to check out the view?
- Tristan Taylor: Hey, that was my line!
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: [being attacked by bats at an amusement park exhibit] Guys! Anytime you want to jump in and help!
- Tea Garnder: Should we tell him they're only holograms?
- Tristan Taylor: And spoil the fun?
- Marik Ishtar, Yami Marik, Rare Hunter, Strings, Umbra, Gozaboro Kaiba: Great beast of the sky please hear my cry / Transform thyself from orb of light and bring me victory in this fight / Envelope the desert with your glow and cast your rage upon my foe / Unlock your powers from deep within so that together we may win / Appear in this Shadow Game as I call your name / Winged Dragon of Ra!
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: [as Yugi summons Obelisk the Tormentor when Marik has nothing to protect himself] Look at Marik, he's so scared of Obelisk, his hair is standin' on end! Oh wait, he always looks like that!
- Raphael: Here Pharaoh. We have a present for you.
- [tosses Rex and Weevil's Soul Cards to Yami]
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Oh yeah?
- [shakes a fist]
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Well I got a gift for you too! Come down here, it's the gift that keeps on giving!
- Valon: [laughs] I like thise bloke, he reminds me of meself! Only dumber and not quite as attractive.
- Pegasus: What, no hello, no how are you? I thought we were friends, Kaiba-boy. Don't tell me that kidnapping your little brother and seizing control of Kaiba Corp. has put a rift between us. It was nothing personal.
- Yugi Moto: Just once I'd like to duel in a tournament for the thrill of it and not have to worry about who's trying to take over the world!
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: [after beating Dartz] Well guys, let's go home! There's probably some new evil psycho waiting for us back there!
- Tristan Taylor: That sad thing is, he's probably right.
- Yugi Moto: Now I will go on the attack with Mammoth Graveyard, Polymerization, and the Living Arrow card.
- Seto Kaiba: What's a Living Arrow card?
- Yugi Moto: I tell you. Normally, I make a fusion with my cards but for a change, Living Arrow allows me to fuse my cards with my opponent's cards opening up bold new possibilites. Now I will use the magic of the Living Arrow to fuse my Mammoth Graveyard to the heart of your beast. However, since my Mammoth Graveyard is an undead type monster, it can't properly fuse with your living Ultimate Dragon. Instead, it will cause your dragon to rot and decay from the inside out and since Mammoth Graveyard has a total of 1200 attack points, that means your Dragon will lose 1200 attack and defense points each turn until even my weakest monsters can destroy it.
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Go, Drumsticks!
- Mai Valentine: Uh, guys? Joey named his chicken.
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: It's a Nematory, Mai!
- Mai Valentine: Whatever.
- [Yugi is being badly beaten in his duel with Mai]
- Tea Garnder: Yugi! You can still turn this around. I know you can!
- Joey Wheeler: Uh... yeah, it only *looks* hopeless!
- Mai Valentine: Hey! Cross on the green, not in between!
- Duke Devlin, Raphael, Valon: Sorry, but we're being chased by a bunch of robed weirdos!
- Joey Wheeler: Mai was fine with herself until you came along and brainwashed her.
- Valon: I already told you. Mai did this of her own free will.
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Just put it on my tab, Gramps.
- Solomon Moto: Your tab's past due, Joey.
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Then put it on Tristan's.
- Mokuba Kaiba: I asked Yugi and his friends for help.
- Seto Kaiba: You did what? You know how I feel about Yugi!
- Mokuba Kaiba: But who else was I supposed to turn to?
- Seto Kaiba: Anyone else!
- Seto Kaiba: It's the latest state-of-the-art system that recreates the virtual dueling arena setting anywhere.
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Looks like a regular old briefcase to me.
- Seto Kaiba: It's in the briefcase, you moron.
- Katsuya Jonouchi: [while sleeping] Hey!
- Bakura Ryou: [trying to steal Jonouchi's card so he can join in the Duelist Kingdom finals]
- [freezes]
- Katsuya Jonouchi: [sleepily] That's my pizza.
- Dartz: [after Kaiba loses his soul] The score stands: Orichalcos 1, Seto Kaiba, zip.
- Marik Ishtar: Tea. I need your help one more time.
- Marik Ishtar, Tea Garnder: [Through Tea] Pharoah. I need you do me this one favor. I want you to destroy that body. I'm sorry for all of the things that I did to you and your friends. I don't care what happens to me as long as he doesn't get his hands on the millenium items. Please just do me this one last favor. Destroy my body.
- Yugi Moto: [Bakura rides by, followed by Yami Yugi] Look guys, it's the Pharaoh!
- Bobasa: [Slifer the Sky Dragon flies past] And *that* is a big red dragon!
- Joey Wheeler: This sorta thing used to surprise me. Now, not so much.
- Seto Kaiba: [to Zigfried] Instead of turning you in for fraud and trespassing, I'll let you go, on one condition. Get out of my life, and take your bad hair with you! And if your overpriced shoes come anywhere near me again, I'll destroy what's left of your pathetic company!
- Joey Wheeler, Shadi: This tournament's gotten way outta hand. Know why?
- Duke Devlin, Raphael, Valon: [refering to Marik] Because there's a mind warping psycho on board?
- Duke Devlin, Raphael, Valon: [everyone gives him a dirty look] Just being honest.
- Seto Kaiba: Now I will create a Duel Monster without peer by combining my three Blue Eyes White Dragons with my Polymerization card to create... The Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon 4500/3800.
- Katsuya Jonouchi: [holding out hand to Jean Claude Magnum] Hello! How do you do? I no you no very-very fan, ne!
- Joey Wheeler: This dream just gets weirder and weirder. It's almost as nuts as that nightmare I had about the monkey and that bowl of vanilla pudding.