The anonymous "J.D. Marlowe" who made SLIT SKIRTS tried to vary the porn formula slightly but failed. This is the usual episodic XXX action in vanity production format.
Joey Silvera stars uncredited as Dr. Hansen, running a clinic housing sexual perverts. Film starts out with a rough sex segment, as two thugs break into an apartment and rape maid Rachel Ashley, in one of her first feature roles. It's all downhill from there, as Ashley is the most beautiful girl in the picture.
One of the rapists is brought to Hansen's clinic, and the police detective informs us the other rapist was killed by the police. A fat guy pesters the detective, making faces at the camera to show how crazy the inmates are -an amateurish segment indicating auteur Marlowe's incompetence.
Candy Staton, a journey-woman Black actress of the day, is introduced as Nurse Wilson, the new floor supervisor and Hansen shows her around the place. Film devolves at this point into a corny "now in this room we have...", no more than vignette porn which has latterly dominated the industry and replaced storyline projects.
First clinic sex scene is of an inmate jerking off, when Joanna Storm visits his room to give him a blow job. IMDb credits indicate this is brother, meaning incest, but I didn't get that impression by just watching the film. This is nothing more than a stag loop, but managed to earn her top billing in the picture.
Toby Garner (one-shot "Linda M. Joaquin") is a nymphomaniac patient, shown in flashback with Hansen narrating as she blows two guys. The percussion-only music score is a trademark of Joe Sarno, but he's not the culprit "Marlowe" who directed this junker, rather it shares the same library music of countless '80s Sarno films & videos.
Carey (actress unidentified) is an inmate introduced while masturbating, who was sent by her analyst to the clinic due to her obsession with sodomy. This huge-breasted plumper is shown in flashback giving a b.j. (including deep throat action) while a voyeur jerks off, ordering the couple around. The guy barks out: "Now I want you to take Tobacco Road, put in in her poop chute", signaling anal sex for the fans, as well as giving us some indication of auteur Marlowe's level of literacy. This is low-grade porn, aimed at the slob end of the Adult audience.
Next segment has Candy taken to the Terminal Ward, for violent inmates. Hansen identifies the first patient as "Ron Jeremy", and it's the real Ron Jeremy, chained helplessly to a bed and screaming "get me off!" repeatedly. He curls up in a ball to lick and tentatively suck the head of his penis, to no avail, but giving his fans a yuck or two (for me, "Yuck!"). Bunny Hatton is the plain Jane nurse who visits Ron and services him. Color grading in this sequence is way, way off, so that the master shots clash drastically with the insert closeups, more amateurism.
Alfred Bates (Michael Bruce) is a necrophiliac who was committed by his dad. We see him making love to his girl friend Sharon Kane, but she responds during sex, making the necrophilia gimmick moot and pointless.
Candy is shown The Red Room next, where two lesbians ("Reisa" and "Carissa") are going at it. Hansen dismisses Candy and goes into the Red Room for what is clearly a routine of his, servicing the two girls and having us suffer through some very poorly improvised dialog.
Off-duty now, Candy strips to go to bed, and instantly has sex with a short young orderly (Jim Davey) for some mixed combo action. There's no preamble -SLIT SKIRTS with its meaningless title is merely porn vignettes by now.
Crosscutting takes us back to Hansen's threesome, climaxing with Silvera's money shot right into Carissa's eye -another cheap thrill for the slobs in the audience. Joey falls asleep and the two girls steal his keys and escape. Meanwhile, Candy takes it in the rear.
Film ends on a would-be comical note as the two girls escape inexplicably with Alfred Bates, who asks a passer-by: "Could you direct me to the nearest morgue?".
This junk not only is marketed with the catchy and pointless SLIT SKIRTS title, but Video-X-Pix uses a DVD box cover photo of Lisa De Leeuw holding a gun -completely false and misleading as to the contents.
Carter Stevens was the cameraman -he can identify who directed this lousy film. Producer Frank Della, who also plays a bit role, took another flier in porn years later with TECHSEX, not yet revived on DVD.
