Marathon

Another Vinegar Syndrome release, another candidate for the accolade of Carlos Tobalina's worst film -and worst porn film ever for all that matters. Anticipating the "all-sex" video junkers of recent decades, this 35mm feature film consists of two non-stop orgies and nothing else. It wasn't booked at any theater near me 30 years back, and would have been nearly impossible to sit through had I been unfortunate enough buy a ticket somewhere.

Jamie Gillis, with a penis-as-nose pair of novelty glasses on his face, plays Fred who throws a costume party for a familiar group of porno faces, although most of their faces are hidden under masks. They arrive and start humping immediately, with two very chintzy and fake-looking studio sets used for sex in the bedroom and sex in the living room. Poor lighting (Tobalina takes the cinematography credit himself) throws shadows everywhere, including a shadow of the camera crew at one point when they move along to vary the action caught in the frame.

Cronyism dictates that someone ask from time to time "are Bill & Rita here?", referring to Tobalina's favorite miscreant William Margold, cast in "Marathon" opposite Rita Cruz (I thought it would be Tobalina regular Rita Ricardo, but no such luck). This is to set up a phone call to Fred at the half-way point (41 minutes of orgy having elapsed), and he announces that Bill & Rita are laid-up in the John Holmes Memorial Hospital after a ski lift accident. Carlos himself, who is attending the orgy though we don't see him actually dicking around on camera, suggests they take the portable feast to the hospital.

Second half of the film is a second orgy in Bill & Rita's very phony looking hospital room, another poorly dressed studio set. Its content is identical to the first residential orgy, just broken into two parts the way every Italian film of the era was shown in two parts, regardless of length. In this case, the movie is so tedious that this would be a logical point for whatever audience is still awake to head for the exit. In fact, if one were to fall asleep at any point during "Marathon" and then wake up before the finish it would be near-impossible to identify having missed anything - it's all the same.

Cum shots are maximized, with marquee star John Holmes delivering two of them, one deposited on the backside of Sparky Vasc, an import to the cast from NYC and billed just as "Sparky" in the end credits. Another Gotham visitor is Ron Jeremy, whose mighty member, it must be said, is more impressive in action here than that of Holmes.

As for Margold, he's passive in his hospital bed, eventually jerking off on a blonde who's among those femmes servicing him. The bored, disinterested look on Bill's face as he tries to earn his money shot bonus says it all about this who cares? exercise in low-grade porn.

John Stagiano shows up in a Dracula costume and when he cums on Sparky's posterior Tobalina stretches the event by repeating it at least three times. Why Vinegar Syndrome is treating us to a recapitulation of much of Tobalina/aka Troy Benny's less than illustrious career lowlights is beyond me -apparently wiser minds than mine inhabiting the porn video executive suites have sized up today's audiences with H.L. Mencken's famous line "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public" taken to heart.