A Knight's Tale

Chaucer: You're good. You're very good. My lords, my ladies, and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion!

[crowd roars]

Chaucer: Today... today, you find yourselves equals.

[crowd roars]

Chaucer: For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne. I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me still further in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishing of her dreadful Turkish uncle.

[crowd, boo]

Chaucer: In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper. And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir Ulllrrrich von Lichtenstein!

[crowd roars]

Chaucer: Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.