The Patriot

The film is a mish-mash of incoherent cliches ranging from a little girl and her pony, to Waco-like backwoods terrorists, to wise Native Americans. To be fair, the version I saw probably suffered slightly from poor editing for television broadcast.

Those who like Steven Seagal will be especially disappointed; yes, there are a few short action scenes, and people do die (most from natural causes). But much of the film is so sugary sweet that when it's all over, you will envy the dead.