It's Friday evening. You decide that you'd like to rent a good Stephen Baldwin movie. Unfortunately, when you get to the video store you find that "Usual Suspects" is checked out. "Oh well," you think to yourself, "guess I'll have to settle for a *bad* Stephen Baldwin movie instead." The video store is your oyster, my friend, and who knows, you may find another pearl amongst Stephen's work. It's worth a shot.
As you're roaming the aisles, life's cruel hand of fate guides you to "Dead Weekend." Sadly, you decide that you'll give it a chance, and you don't find out until it's too late that the title of the movie is a fitting description for any weekend spent watching this tripe.
The only thing going on in this movie is Stephen gettin' it on with five different female forms of an alien. The alien changes forms randomly, and sometimes she doesn't even know she has changed. Luckily for Stephen, she always shape shifts into a hot babe.
In the end, Stephen decides to leave the planet with his alien lover, but his former soldier colleagues feel he's a traitor and try to hunt him down. Oh the tension. Do you think Stephen would've still wanted to flee the planet with this alien if she started morphing into a Roseanne look-alike with a severe back-hair problem? I doubt it.
It's no bold prediction to say that I'll never watch this movie again. I have no problem watching movies that are so bad they're entertaining (Troll 2, a good number of Michael Paré movies), but this movie is so bad it's just BAD. The only way it could've been worse is if the alien shape shifted into Rosie O'Donnell every time. The acting was wooden and just horrible, there was no real story or action, and the music sounded worse than the midnight jam sessions I used to have on my $20 Casio when I was thirteen years old.
I was bored the entire movie, and I had to fight the temptation to hit "fast forward" harder than Mike D fighting for his right to party. But I can be a stubborn guy at times. I taped this movie, so I was bound and determined to watch the whole thing.
Watching the movie wasn't a total loss though. Yes folks, I actually learned a valuable lesson from this experience - I have really got to learn to be less stubborn.
THE GIST:
I suppose if you enjoy the cinematic equivalent of a hammer repeatedly bashing you upside the brain for 82 minutes, then you might want to check out "Dead Weekend." Otherwise, avoid it at all costs. Literally. Spend money to AVOID seeing this movie if you have to.
