Muriel's Wedding (1994)

Bill Hunter: Bill

Photos 

Quotes 

• [repeated line; whenever his secret lover Deidre Chambers turns up in a public place] 

  Bill : What a coincidence!

• Bill : I was nearly in State Government. Four million votes I needed. No one knew who won for three days 'till the postal vote came in. For three days I was almost there... You reap what you sow. You'd think I'd learn that growing up on a farm. You reap what you sow.

• Bill : Deidre, pull up a chair. Penelope, shift out!

• Victor Keinosuke : You do a lot for the people of this town, Bill.

  Bill : Who told you that?

  Victor Keinosuke : You did.

• Funeral Priest : I have a telefax to read.

  Bill Heslop : [to Perry]  Keep your eye on them journalist bastards.

  Funeral Priest : "To Bill Heslop and Family. Hazel and I were sorry to hear of the passing of Betty. We are thinking of you in your time of sorrow." Signed, the Honourable Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia.

  Bill Heslop : What are they doing?

  Perry Heslop : They're writing it down.

  Bill Heslop : I'll bet they are. Put that in your papers, you mongrel bastards. I've still got friends. How many families get telegrams from former prime ministers when somebody dies? I'm not forgotten.

• Bill : Did Perry interview for the police force yet?

  Betty : Yes, but they said he couldn't join because he was too tall.

• Bill : After she failed high school, I get her into a secretarial course run by a mate of mine. $300 a term. Two years, $2,000. She comes out, she can't even type.

  Muriel : I could type.

  Bill : Then I get her a job at me solicitor's. After a month, Stevie Mason rings up and says he'll have to let her go 'cause she can't type.

  Muriel : If I couldn't type, why did they give me my secretarial diploma?

  Bill : Because I paid for it!

• Perry Heslop : [running around the garden, pretending that he's a professional footballer]  And Perry kicks! He picks it up! "Go yourself! Go yourself!" is the roar from the crowd. Heslop! Heslop! Heslop! Whoo! How can a man be so strong and so fast? Heslop!

  Bill Heslop : Perry! Wake up to yourself!

• Bill : Sits around the house like a dead weight, watching TV, sleeping all day, getting arrested at weddings! You're useless. You're all useless. A bunch of useless no-hopers.

• Leo Higgins : You know what they call this great man? "Bill the Battler". 'Cause he's a little Aussie battler.

  Bill : Been battling all me life. Battling for Porpoise Spit.