- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: Radio Rogers and McCluskey. Tell them to turn around. We're going back to the tick-tock to get the boo-boo. And send for backup.
- Norby: [singing] Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb her HAIR was white as snow! And every which way that Mary went, the lamb was right behind her. It followed her to work one day, work one day, work one day. It followed her to work one daaaaaaayyy, and Mary lost her job!
- Norby: Did a baby get off this bus? A little guy about two feet tall. It's an emergency!
- Bus Driver: I didn't have nobody today with a baby.
- Norby: He was BY HIMSELF!
- Eddie: [Baby Bink just got away from the villains again after many times, but this time by crawling into a small sewer tunnel] No problem, fellas. It ain't a hole. It's a tunnel. And what's every tunnel got?
- Norby: Ooh! Don't tell me! I know, I know, I know. It's uh, uh, uh-...
- Veeko: Tollbooth at the end.
- Eddie: Are you always this stupid, or do you do this just to annoy me?
- [the villains have returned to their apartment after chasing Baby Bink all day long]
- Norby: Hey, Eddie, you sure you don't wanna go check to see if they left the money?
- Eddie: Oh, that's a good idea. We get the living hell torn out of us by a baby! Three fully-grown men versus 15 pounds of pink flesh with a mouth! Now, what chance do you think we got of strolling into that alley and coming out with anything less than 140 years in prison?
- Veeko: No way.
- Eddie: No, thank you! This is a hexed situation, we walk away while we're still ahead.
- Veeko: We took a licking and kept on ticking.
- Eddie: We go back to banks. Dealing with grown-ups, and I want no kiddie stuff.
- Norby: We did all right with banks.
- Veeko: Or a convenience store once in a while, keeps things interesting.
- Eddie: You know, I tell you one thing I learned from all this: I ain't never gonna have any kids of my own.
- Norby: [Norby and Veeko laugh, and give each other high-fives. Veeko winces from his crushed hand] Yeah, seeing as you burnt down the only tree in your forest, I wouldn't worry about it.
- Eddie: Why don't you shut up? I don't wanna ever hear another word about that rotten, snake-bit baby.
- [Baby Bink saying boo-boo is heard from the megaphone outside]
- Eddie: I'm serious!
- Eddie: I'm hearing that little vermin in my thoughts. I want to erase him from my mind!
- Norby: [Wistfully] Did you hear that?
- Veeko: Yeah.
- Norby: You know what it sounds like?
- Eddie: [Picks up Bink's book and realizes he's actually outside] Boo boo... he's back!
- Eddie: [after accidently letting some mixture be poured on him] THAT'S IT! NO MERCY!
- [tries to walk through the slippery puddle of mixture]
- Eddie: This ain't no nursury school battle of wits anymore. This is my '5'"10" of guile, gut, and gristle, versus you 2 1/2 feet of goo-goos,gaa-gaas, and giggles.
- [slips on the floor, but climbs up again]
- Eddie: If the Milwaukee Mob couldn't kill me, no milk-puking little thumb-sucker's got a candle's chance on a cyclone of getting the better of me!
- [while trying to feed Bink]
- Veeko: Ed.
- Eddie: Huh?
- Veeko: How do I know this milk won't burn the kid's throat? If that matters.
- Eddie: Try it on some skin first.
- [Veeko almost drops some milk on his arm, but removes Norby's hat and squirts some over his bald head. Norby screams in pain as Bink laughs]
- Norby: What's the matter with you?
- Veeko: I'd better let it cool down.
- [Norby smacks Veeko across the head. Bink laughs]
- Norby: You like that? Hey, Eddie!
- Eddie: Huh?
- Norby: Watch the baby.
- [Norby smacks Veeko again. Bink laughs. Norby laughs as well. Veeko laughs mockingly]
- Eddie: Very good. Now see if it works the other way.
- [Veeko smacks Norby across the head so hard he falls over. Bink laughs. Veeko smiles at him]
- Veeko: It works.
- [Eddie nods]
- [as Baby Bink crawls away from the building under construction, Hard Hat #1 sees him disappear around a corner]
- Hard Hat #2: What?
- Hard Hat #1: I thought I saw a baby crawl around the corner.
- Hard Hat #2: Good night, Donald.
- Gilbertine: Nanny Gilbertine is so tried of the "Boo-boo" book she could just gag...
- [baby Bink starts to giggle]
- [Bennington Cotwell returns home after hearing that his son has been kidnapped to find his wife waiting for him]
- Laraine Cotwell: All I wanted was to have my baby's picture on the paper.
- [She shows him the newspaper, which its headlines shows a picture of Baby Bink, but the story is of Bink being kidnapped]
- Laraine Cotwell: [sarcastically] I've got my wish.
- Norby: Eddie?
- Eddie: Huh?
- Norby: You're a smart guy. How do you tell the front from the back on these diapers?
- Eddie: Aren't there pockets in the front?
- Norby: [looks it over] Very funny. The front and the back are the same!
- Eddie: Then it probably don't make no difference. Put him in them regular baby clothes. That fruit suit's a dead give away that he's a rich kid.
- Norby: [singing] Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb her HAIR was white as snow! And every which way that Mary went, the lamb was right behind her. It followed her to work one day, work one day, work one day. It followed her to work one daaaaaaayyy, and Mary lost her job!
- Jojo Ducky: I seen the baby
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: Where?
- Jojo Ducky: Right across the street, on the curb.
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: Where did he go?
- Jojo Ducky: Where did he go? That's the craziest thing. I don't remember.
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: Maybe we should take a little ride, see if you remember then.
- Bennington Cotwell: Will this help? Do you want money?
- Jojo Ducky: Don't embarrass me! Don't insult me! Please! Your money is no good here. Put it away!
- [Mr. Cotwell gives JoJo a couple of dollar bills]
- Bennington Cotwell: Where's the baby?
- Jojo Ducky: House across the street.
- [Mr. Cotwell gives JoJo a $100 bill]
- Jojo Ducky: Second floor.
- [Mr. Cotwell gives JoJo another $100 bill]
- Jojo Ducky: McCray's. No guarantees. Listen Mister, I didn't know your kid. I just saw his picture on t.v. I called because I care!
- [JoJo looks and counts the money Mr. Cotwell gives him with a grin]
- Cop #1: [Smelling Eddie's groin being lit on fire under his coat] You sure can tell summer's here. People got those barbecues going...
- [Trying to get Baby Bink to take a nap]
- Norby: Go to sleep real nice. Cause mister teddy bear over here, he's been up all night, drinking with the Barbie dolls, and he needs his rest.
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: You're surrounded! Throw down the Boo Boo and put your hands over your head!
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: Mrs. Cotwell? Dale Grissom, FBI. I'd like to ask you a few questions.
- Laraine Cotwell: You'll have to ask me later. I'm going to look for my baby.
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: I'd rather you didn't, I need you here.
- Laraine Cotwell: Don't cuddle me, Mr. Grissom.
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: Mrs. Cotwell, there are 5,000,000 people in this city and thousands of places where your boy could be. Now it would pointless and dangerous for you to go out searching for your baby. Now, I've been through a number of these cases and I understand how you feel.
- Laraine Cotwell: Have you ever lost a child?
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: No, ma'am.
- Laraine Cotwell: Then you can't possible know how I feel.
- FBI Agent Dale Grissom: I apologize. But would you stay here, please? For your baby's sake.
- Laraine Cotwell: Okay.
- [Bink has crawled out the bedroom window, up the stairs and onto the roof; looks down through the skylight with drool leaking onto his chin; Eddie does the newspaper crossword; Veeko watches TV whilst chewing his finger nails; Bink's drool drops down onto the back of Eddie's neck; Eddie scrapes some drool off, looks at it and glares at Veeko]
- Veeko: [notices Eddie's glaring face] What?
- [Eddie leans over and smacks him on the head]
- Veeko: What did I do?
- Eddie: You *spit* on me!
- Veeko: I did *not*!
- Eddie: *Somebody* did, and you're the only one in the room!
- [Veeko turns back to the TV; Bink giggles; Eddie and Veeko look up, then back to each other; they look up again; Veeko drops the TV remote]
- Baby Bink #1: Whoa.
- [Eddie and Veeko bolt into the bedroom, where they find Norby fast asleep]
- Eddie: You jerk!
- Norby: [jumps awake] What?
- [Eddie climbs on top of Norby and grabs his shirt]
- Norby: Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, shh! Quiet. You're gonna wake up the baby.
- Eddie: The baby's on the roof!
- [Chasing Big Woman who has Bink unknowingly in her purse]
- Norby: We'll give her a sandwich.
- Eddie: She don't need a sandwich, look at her. She's big as a building.
- [Big Woman turns around and lays a severe beating on them]
- Big Woman: We'll give her a sandwich, huh? Big as a building, huh? Not so easy making jokes with my fist in your mouth, is it?