- Giant: Shut up! Who asked you, Left Hand?
- Left Hand Lacey: Nobody asked me, man.
- Giant, Bleek: [in unison] Then shut the fuck up!
- Bleek: Here we are. This is our music, right? Jazz is our music. lt's black music. We will go and watch some crossover stuff that's created by other people, but we don't come to see our own, man. But the jazz - if we had to depend upon on black people to eat, we would starve to death. You look out into the audience, and what do you see? You see Japanese, West Germans, you see Slabovic, anything, except our people, man. lt makes no sense. lt incenses me that our own people don't realize our own heritage, culture. This is our music, man.
- Shadow Henderson: That's bullshit.
- Bleek: Why?
- Shadow Henderson: [slurred] It's all bullshit. Everything, everything you just said is bullshit. Out of all the people in the world, you never gave anybody else, and look, I love you like a step-brother, but you never gave nobody else a chance to - to play their own music, you complain about...
- Bleek: l'm talking about the audience.
- Shadow Henderson: That's right! The people don't come because you grandiose motherfuckers don't play shit that they like. If you played the shit that they like, then people would come. Simple as that!
- Butterbean Jones: Ugly woman easy to get along with. They don't want no trouble. You can tell an ugly woman anything, can't you? Hey, bitch, l'm going to the moon. l'll be back in a couple of days. ''Well, you be careful. l don't want nothin' to happen to you now, cause you know l - cause l love you. Oh, l love you. Please don't call me a bitch in front of the kids.'' All right, whore, l'll be back in a couple of days. Goddamn.
- Left Hand Lacey: You're jealous.
- Shadow Henderson: Jealous?
- Left Hand Lacey: Couldn't pull a French girl. She's an educated woman. She went to the Sorbonne. You don't know where the Sorbonne is.
- Shadow Henderson: Sore buns? You can catch that on 125th Street.
- Butterbean Jones: l'm from Mississippi and l love it! l like bein' country. l ain't lyin'. Ain't nothin' like a good country lady. Yeah, a girl the other day, l was messin' around with her breast. She got hot. She said, ''Oh, wouldn't you like something to go with this good ol' breast milk?'' l said, ''A good piece of cornbread would go just fine.''
- Shadow Henderson: You're supposed to be taking care of me. l'm the artist, midget rat bastard.
- Giant: What does size have to do with it?
- Shadow Henderson: A lot. You keep coming up short.
- Butterbean Jones: There's some good-lookin' women in here and some good-lookin' fellas. How you doin', sir? l'm a trisexual. l'll try your little ass tonight.
- Butterbean Jones: [during his stand-up, recognizing Giant] Look at that little ugly guy at the bar. Hey, fella! That's Bleek Gilliam's manager. Little Mr Magoo-lookin' fucker there. I wouldn't ignore you Giant. You think l didn't see you back over there, huh? Tryin' to sneak in here in the colored section. l see you - sittin' at the bar. Look at him. Yeah, that poor fucker. l first met him tryin' out for the Celtics a couple of years ago. He got mad 'cause Robert Parish was on the team. That Larry Bird told me. Larry Bird ain't shit! He got nothin' but a three-pointer. So, fuck, that's all he needs!
- Bleek: Thank you for coming. But, you didn't have to come. You could have stayed home and watched Arsenio Hall or something. No, hey listen, l got nothing against the brother, you know. God bless him. But, eh, thank you again for coming.
- Butterbean Jones: l like women with big asses. Why do brothers drive Cadillacs? Cause you can't get all that ass in a Volkswagen. The first thing they be sayin', ''Kiss my ass''. Some ugly women in here, too, tonight. How you doin'? I didn't - when l said ugly, l was lookin' at your ass.
- Bottom Hammer (Bass): You see them girls out in front? The girl in purple? When she crossed her legs, l saw sparks fly. What's up, man?
- Rhythm Jones (Drums): She got a big baseball booty.
- Bottom Hammer (Bass): Oh, man, she was fine! She was looking at me the whole show. She was looking at me the whole motherfuckin' show, man.
- Giant: He's a chucker, man. He comes off the bench shooting, Bleek. Never gonna see no pass from this guy. He's a selfish ballplayer. You need to get rid of him. lt's your team. lt's your band. You're the coach. Fire his ass! Every night, three-hour solos. Bleek, what's up? lt's your band. Get rid of this guy. Go out there and play. Great.
- Bleek: How many times do l have to tell you? l have a certain time allotted for daily practice. You know this, yet you consistently overlook my program.
- Clarke: l get the times mixed up. Everything with you is so damn regulated. A certain time to do this, a certain time to do that. Everything's on a schedule, a timetable. Loosen up, tight ass.
- Bleek: Let me explain something to you. Life is short, okay? l need it like this to get everything done. l like order.
- Clarke: Order's fine, but you're ridiculous.
- Bleek: Bleek, you know what my mother used to tell me? She used to say, ''Don't ever marry a musician, let alone go out with one.'' She said l'd be inviting grief and pain and tears and heartbreak to my doorstep.
- Bleek: Your mother wasn't talking about me.
- Indigo Downes: Maybe not. You're a good brother, Bleek, but you still don't know what you want.
- Bleek: Guess it's time for confessions of a modern-day dog, huh?
- Indigo Downes: Well, like it or not, you're a dog. You are a dog. You're a good doggy, a nice dog, but you're a dog nonetheless.
- Bleek: What can l say? l'm not going to argue the point. You know how l am.
- Young Bleek: l'm sick and tired of the trumpet. l hate the trumpet!
- Lillian Gilliam: All the money l paid for that horn? You must be losing your mind. You better play that trumpet.
- Giant: l want to play the full schedule today. Start with the National League. The Pirates play the Mets in a doubleheader. Give me the Pirates in both games. The Mets need more black ballplayers. Give me the Reds over the 'stros, Expos over the Phillies, Braves over the Dodgers, Cubs over the Cardinals, the Giants over the Padres... ln the American League, the Yankees over the Tigers, even though Steinbrenner needs to go. Brewers over the Red Sox, Orioles over the Jays. That's my main man, Frank Robinson.
- Bleek: Ow!
- Clarke: l'm sorry.
- Bleek: Baby, I think you bit my lip. Oh, shit. ls it bleeding? What you laughing at?
- Clarke: l was playin'.
- Bleek: Well, don't play with my lips!
- Clarke: l'm sorry. Jesus Christ, l said l'm sorry.
- Bleek: Damn! She done cut my - you're nuts!
- Clarke: Want me to kiss it to make it mo' better?
- Bleek: This shit ain't funny, man.
- Clarke: l was joking. All right, l won't ever kiss you again.
- Bleek: That's good. l make my living with my lips.
- Clarke: l make my living with my lips.
- Clarke: Say something.
- Bleek: Let's make love.
- Clarke: For once, let's be real. What you and l do is not ''make love''.
- Bleek: What would you call it then?
- Clarke: lt's definitely not making love.
- Bleek: Bonin'?
- Clarke: You've been more imaginative.
- Bleek: Oh, I got a million of 'em. You ever heard of the mo' better?
- Clarke: Mo' what?
- Bleek: Mo' better makes it mo' better. Mo' better makes it mo' better.
- Clarke: Yeah, that's what we do. We don't make love because you don't love me. But in the meantime...
- Clarke, Bleek: l'll settle for some of that mo' better.
- Bleek: Yeah, I knew you would.
- Giant: $15 cover charge, three-drink minimum, dinner starts at $25! You guys are making money hand over fingers. What about the artist?
- Moe Flatbush: Don't hand me that artist doo-doo.
- Josh Flatbush: Ca-ca!
- Moe Flatbush: They don't have any financial risks. I mean, go - go listen to the music, huh? What? You think Bleek's Elvis?
- Josh Flatbush: There's only one king in music.
- Moe Flatbush: There's one king.
- Josh Flatbush: The king!
- Moe Flatbush: In music.
- Josh Flatbush: And that starts with an ''E''.
- Moe Flatbush: Come on. Go shoot some hoops, huh? Gimme some moves, huh?
- Bleek: Shall we go upstairs? Would you like to talk about it upstairs?
- Indigo Downes: We might, could.
- Bleek: We might, could? Oh!
- Indigo Downes: Come on, now. l'm not waitin' anymore.
- Bleek: We might, could! You know, l used coulda, woulda, shoulda, woulda, would. That sounds like a good song.
- Bleek: Black queen. l mean, my slice of pie. The apple of my eye. My chicken thigh, extra spicy. Ham, Spam. Eggs and bacon, chicken and waffles. From Wilsons. How you doing, baby? You're looking good to me.
- Indigo Downes: What happened to you, Bleek?
- Bleek: What happened to me?
- Indigo Downes: l've been waiting for twenty years.
- Bleek: Twenty? My watch must be going slow, lt says 15 years, but l'll get it fixed.
- Shadow Henderson: She has a highly developed sense of smell. She could sniff me out five miles away. l think she must be part canine and shit.
- Shadow Henderson: lt's about time. Bleek borrowed this a year ago. This is a rare, out-of-print Bird. Just stand there, brother. Better not be no scratches on here, either. Lucky. Tell your bitch don't ask for nothing if it takes a year to return it.
- Bleek: [singing] lt came as a surprlse, You opened my eyes, Why? Because l love you, Let me spend the rest of my life with you - tonight, If you don't, l'll just roll up into a ball and just die, Won't wash, won't eat, Won't even go to work, If you don't love me do l'll even give up my four season tickets, To the New York Knicks! Court side, And you know, How l feel about basketball, That's gotta be L-O-V-E, Let me call you my own, Shower me with your cones, Let lt rain down on me like a monsoon! Let your love come down, Flow down, Drown me in that stuff, l want to swim in it, Do 20 laps, The breast stroke is my specialty, L-O-V-E, L-O-V-E, L--O--V--E
- Shadow Henderson: Yo, you know what? She counts my rubbers, man.
- Giant: Nah.
- Shadow Henderson: Yes. The woman was an accountant major in school. Right? So she takes an accurate account of my jimmys. So, now l got to go buy a whole 'nother box so she won't bust me again. One time l rid around the city, man, and l searched for a box of 12 dozen blue Trojans, ribbed, with the receptacle end, lubricated with the garden-fresh scent. Daggone girl knows everything.
- Giant: Why bother?
- Shadow Henderson: Why bother? Well, l like her, number one. Number two - she's a mother in bed. Number three - the rest don't matter.
- Giant: Three good reasons.
- Bleek: l want more money. Okay? l'm not happy. When l'm not happy, l don't play good. When l don't play good, the music doesn't sound good. lf the music doesn't sound good, nobody comes. We all lose our money.
- Moe Flatbush: Nobody - can be trusted.
- Josh Flatbush: Nobody.
- Moe Flatbush: Everyone steals. Everyone is crooked.
- Josh Flatbush: Everyone.
- Moe Flatbush: The thing is to walk out of the deal with as much of your shirt on as possible.
- Bleek: Most of the stuff on the radio is so sad. lt's a drag. One of the reasons could be because every song is about - oh, you guessed it, huh? Love. Love. Love. L-O-V-E. "What the world needs now..." is not another love song. Now, dig. Check this out. The love that's professed in these songs is shaky anyway. lt's a lustful, selfish, end-of-the-world love. And the lyrics - have you tried to listen to the lyrics? You heard them all before.
- [singing]
- Bleek: My love ls higher, Fire and desire, Let's stay together forever, Despite all types of weather, Even a hurricane, In fact, l'd spend a winter in Chi-town, And you know that's cold, Ain't no mountain high enough, Ain't no river wide enough, To keep me from gettin' to your good stuff, You know it's rough...
- Shadow Henderson: All Bleek cares about is Bleek.
- Clarke: ls that so?
- Shadow Henderson: Oh, so that is. I mean, just take a look around.
- Clarke: It seems to me that all Shadow cares about is Shadow.
- Butterbean Jones: How you doin', waitress? Yeah, she's a nun. Won't give me none, ain't had none, told me she didn't need none.
- Butterbean Jones: I ain't lyin'. l'm lookin' for a woman. Cause l'm horny enough to fuck the crack of dawn.
- Indigo Downes: You always avoid direct eye contact, you know that? Are you afraid of something? Are you afraid that l might see the real you? Huh? Answer me. Come on, answer me.
- Clarke: If you say you care, then why in the fuck are you still fucking Indigo? And don't give me that ''lt's a dick thing'' shit, either.
- Shadow Henderson: He only wants you when he wants you. l want to make you a full-time gig.
- Clarke: l don't believe what a man says.
- Petey: I know Giant. lf he's in, he's gonna come out 'cause he's gotta come out. lf he's out, he's gotta come back to change his underwear, you know, or throw the garbage out. Or, maybe not throw the garbage, but he's gonna come back. I know this guy. You know why they call him Giant? 'Cause he's a giant pain in the ass. And you know the other thing I know? Is sooner or later, okay, he's either gonna go in or he's gonna come out. Okay? You don't give a - l don't want no excuses... l don't want to hear anything. ''Forgive me.'' No. That won't break. That won't break. No more. See. Let's give him a break. Break his legs, his arms... . l give him a lot of rope, but he won't strangle me with my own rope.
- Shadow Henderson: You look hot! That dress makes you look like a zebra. l could be Tarzan. or somethin'. We could play in the jungle.
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