Mermaids (1990)

Winona Ryder: Charlotte Flax

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Quotes 

• Charlotte Flax : I want to stay!

  Rachel Flax : And do what?

  Charlotte Flax : Finish high school!

  Rachel Flax : Great start! What's your major, town tramp?

  Charlotte Flax : No, Mom, the town already has one.

  [Rachel slaps her] 

• Rachel Flax : Alright, you know what? I'll make you a deal. You stop being a little bitch for, let's say, oh, I don't know, an hour or two, and I won't knock the religion of your choice for a week. Deal?

  Charlotte Flax : Deal!

• Dr. Reynolds : [after examining Charlotte, who thinks she is pregnant after kissing Joe]  Has your mother ever talked to you about sex?

  Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  Please, God, I want to die.

  [to the doctor] 

  Charlotte Flax : Yeah, all the time.

  Dr. Reynolds : So you do know how babies are conceived?

  Charlotte Flax : Oh, yeah. We talk about everything. She's a wonderful mother.

  Dr. Reynolds : Then why did you think you were pregnant? You're still a virgin.

  Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  I want to die now. Right now.

• Charlotte Flax : I may be pregnant with the next Jewish-Italian Messiah!

• Charlotte Flax : Sometimes I feel like you're the child and I'm the grown up.

• Mary O'Brien : You see that woman there?

  [she points at a fat, frumpy woman] 

  Mary O'Brien : That's my mom. But when I grow up, I want to be just like yours.

  Charlotte Flax : Mary, you already are!

• Charlotte Flax : I'll make real sandwiches. Big ones a man can sink his teeth into and use both hands to hold 'em.

• Charlotte Flax : Oh, I'm going to hell for sure. Here he is, talking about his poor dead mother and I can't help wishing his hands were unbuttoning my dress!

• Charlotte Flax : Please, God, don't let me fall in love and want to do disgusting things.

• Charlotte Flax : He has the most beautiful skin in captivity, I love him because he wears moccasins in the winter even though his feet must feel like blocks of ice.

• Charlotte Flax : [about to put on her mother's polka dot dress]  Care to dance, Mrs. Flax? Mrs. Polka Flax?

• Rachel Flax : Who's that?

  Charlotte Flax : That's Mr. Crane, my history teacher, and he is very nice.

  Rachel Flax : *He* is an asshole.

  Charlotte Flax : You haven't even spoken to him yet!

  Rachel Flax : Charlotte, I don't need to speak to him. He's driving an Edsel, for Christ's sake.

• Charlotte Flax : OK, Mom, if you want to drive Lou away, that's your business. You want Joe, that's war.

• Charlotte Flax : So Joe, tell me about the nuns in the convent. Do they wear underwear in the shower?

  [narrating] 

  Charlotte Flax : I don't believe I said that.

• Kate Flax : When I die, I want to be sprinkled in the ocean. I don't care if a whale eats me. I could live inside a whale like Jonah with an angel guard.

  Rachel Flax : Girls...

  Charlotte Flax : Yeah, well, what if you get a whale that doesn't have a living room inside him and you end up in someone's tuna fish sandwich?

• Rachel Flax : You know, Charlotte, I think you might be old enough for a boyfriend now.

  Charlotte Flax : If I'm old enough, maybe you're too old.

  Rachel Flax : Don't be ridiculous. A real woman is never too old.

• Rachel Flax : OK, how do I look?

  Charlotte Flax : Like a woman about to go forth in sin.

  Rachel Flax : Oh, good, exactly the look I was hoping for.

• Mother Superior : Yes, dear?

  [Charlotte stands in front of her, smiling awkwardly] 

  Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  I desperately wanted to ask her what color her bra was and if she had pure thoughts every second of the day, but...

  [Charlotte is unable to speak] 

• Charlotte Flax : A word about Mrs. Flax and food: the word is "hors d'oeurves". "Fun Finger Foods" is her main source book and that's all the woman cooks. Anything more, she says, is too big a commitment.

• [Charlotte is going fishing with Joe] 

  Joe : Do you want to bait your own hook or do you want me to do it?

  Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  Mary, mother of God... he still wants to fish?

• Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  Please, God, let him throw me on the ground and make another Joey Junior.

• Kate Flax : Oklahoma was great. I liked living there.

  Rachel Flax : Yeah, I know, and you'll love living here when you get used to it.

  Charlotte Flax : Yeah, and when you get used to it, we'll move and everything'll change again.

• Charlotte Flax : What are you doing?

  Kate Flax : Sucking out the pimentos. They give me hernias.

  Charlotte Flax : You mean hives, fish-head.

• Rachel Flax : Charlotte, you drive like old people make love.

  Charlotte Flax : Mom, I'm only 15. I get nervous.

  Rachel Flax : Driving happens to be one of the two most important skills a woman could have. You should be tickled pink that I taught you early.

• Kate Flax : I think I heard Mom say she'd be making a main course tonight.

  [Rachel gets out of the car and pulls a new dress out of her shopping bag] 

  Kate Flax , Charlotte Flax : Nah!

• Charlotte Flax : [narrating - while drinking from Joe's flask]  Now my lips are touching his.

• [Rachel, Charlotte and Kate enter Lou's shoe store and meet two nuns from the convent] 

  Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  Oh, God, please let Mrs. Flax control herself.

  Lou Landsky : You're still a perfect seven, Reverend Mother. You know, most women's feet get bigger.

  Rachel Flax : Only if they marry.

  Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  Oh, no!

  Rachel Flax : You know, your feet swell. When you get pregnant, your feet swell.

  [Charlotte is mortified] 

  Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  How could she? How could she?

  Rachel Flax : I know mine got swollen when I was pregnant.

  Charlotte Flax : [whispering]  Mother, how could you say that? She's a holy vessel!

• Charlotte Flax : I feel I've wasted half my life in cars. I try to be charitable, taking care of Kate and not killing mother. But, I ask you, whoever heard the word of God going 70 miles an hour on the interstate?

• [everyone in town is stricken by the news of President Kennedy's assassination] 

  Charlotte Flax : [narrating]  It feels like there isn't a single adult left on the entire planet.

• Charlotte Flax , Rachel Flax : [Charlotte angrily confronts her mother after catching her making out with Joe] 

  Charlotte Flax : You kissed him? You kissed him, how could you do that?

  [to Joe] 

  Charlotte Flax : How could you let her kiss you?

  Rachel Flax : Charlotte, for God's sakes, it's just a little New Year's Eve kiss.

  Charlotte Flax : But you don't believe in New Year's.

  Rachel Flax : [with big grin]  I know.

• Charlotte Flax : OK, how do I look?

  Kate Flax : Like someone drew all over you.