The people behind FUTURE HUNTERS have obviously seen movies before but I'm not sure they ever quite figured out what makes them good. I'm sure they've watched action movie after action movie, marveling at their favorite sequences but absorbing nothing of substance. Sitting through FUTURE HUNTERS a second time, it was easy to spot their modus operandi in its creation: make a list of "cool" action scenes and create a paper-thin plot to hang them on. It's something a child would create with toys and imagination. This is a globe-trotting "adventure" that takes obvious cues from the Indiana Jones films, perhaps even aspiring to reach that level, but this, sir or madam, is no Indiana Jones. Robert Patrick (most famous as the T-1000 from TERMINATOR 2) is our unwilling hero Slade who, with his girlfriend Michelle (Linda Carol), embarks on a mission that will pit him against Nazis, pygmies, Amazons, and a martial arts master named Silverfox. You see, Michelle is an anthropology student and Slade is accompanying her to some sort of old church for her studies when they're approached by a man who claims to be from the future. He gives Michelle an old spearhead and tells her it's from the spear that pierced the side of Jesus Christ during his crucifixion. This spear bestows its owner with great (undefined) powers when reunited with the shaft and she is entrusted to keep it safe once future man dies. Soon Slade and Michelle are dodging Nazi thugs on a quest to Asia to complete the spear and keep it from the forces of evil.
The role of Slade in FUTURE HUNTERS is one of Robert Patrick's first and we can see early on he was destined for better things as the most believable character in the entire movie. From the beginning, he is nothing more than irritated for having been dragged on this adventure and I sympathize. He didn't want anything to do with this. He had a job lined up and was eager to make an honest buck. It was Michelle that insisted the future man was legitimate and demanded they follow the trail to Asia to find the research professor who could shed more light on it. But then it was Slade who constantly had to fight the baddies who continuously ambushed them. The man just wants to start his new job and his girlfriend drags him across the world to get his butt kicked by a martial arts master whose sequence, in hindsight, contributed absolutely nothing to the story. And that's something else you're bound to notice. Nothing in this movie happens for a valid reason. For example, future man arrives in 1986 with the spearhead and gives it to Michelle. How do the Nazis even know she has it at this point? Almost immediately, the Nazi's muscle Bauer (Bob Schott) meanders into the diner where Linda works to trash the place and demand she hand over the spearhead. Who told the Nazis about any of this? Did the Nazis somehow know to expect a time traveler from 2025? If the spearhead is needed for time travel, how did the future Nazis warn the present Nazis?
I could go on for pages about the nonsensical FUTURE HUNTERS. Can someone explain the reason for the visit to the "Forgotten" Temple of the Silverfox? It was supposed to be for Slade to get more information on Professor Hightower's whereabouts but instead it's just an excuse to have an unnecessary martial arts fight between Bruce Le and Jang Lee Hwang. That entire sequence could be cut from the film and no one would notice. What was the point of the pygmy tribe other than to have a RETURN OF THE JEDI battle with the tribe rising up to help fight off the Nazis with their primitive means? And how did Slade know their language? There was a throwaway comment earlier on that he was a former Air Force mechanic or something to explain why he was capable of operating a helicopter but I doubt it could explain how he was familiar with the tribe and able to speak their language. It was the 80's so I'll overlook the comical depiction of little people, but I won't deny that it's gratuitous. And it all culminates in a final sequence with a tribe of Amazon women of the Venus Valley where Michelle finally becomes useful and is forced into a battle to the death. It's total lunacy
but it's not horrible. This is mindless entertainment to its core and it has its uses. FUTURE HUNTERS is a fine movie to toss on the TV in the background while you're having drinks with friends because you can stop watching for any amount of time without missing anything important and it's full of meaningless (and occasionally fun) action scenes. It's very, very stupid but not so bad as to become boring or frustrating. It never comes close to becoming anything like what it idolizes but it's a suitable time-waster.
