65 reviews
Binge watching Jules Verne's adaptations I was about to watch the 1988 version when I noticed it was it was actually a sequel to this odd little film.
Starring the always adorable Kathy Ireland with her baby voice cranked right up and Thom "Return of the Living Dead/Friday 13th" Matthews it's an odd little film that nobody would ever connect to Verne's work.
It tells the story of a nerdy young girl who goes in search of her missing father and finds herself trapped beneath the earth in the legendary city of Atlantis. Trouble is the people there don't believe in the "Above world" and therefore she finds herself an alien in a hostile land.
Clearly not based on Verne's novels we see no giant monsters here, just warring factions and a really strong 80's vibe.
The film has a really critically low rating on IMDB and though I think this is a bad film it's not really "That" bad. Sadly it's structure is awful, the whole thing is ugly as hell, the writing is poor and it doesn't have much going for it.
Certainly niche viewing I'd say its one for Kathy Ireland fans only.
The Good:
Erm.....
The Bad:
Ridiculous levels of overacting
Terribly paced
Not the most visually pleasing film
Many may find Irelands voice grinds after a while
Starring the always adorable Kathy Ireland with her baby voice cranked right up and Thom "Return of the Living Dead/Friday 13th" Matthews it's an odd little film that nobody would ever connect to Verne's work.
It tells the story of a nerdy young girl who goes in search of her missing father and finds herself trapped beneath the earth in the legendary city of Atlantis. Trouble is the people there don't believe in the "Above world" and therefore she finds herself an alien in a hostile land.
Clearly not based on Verne's novels we see no giant monsters here, just warring factions and a really strong 80's vibe.
The film has a really critically low rating on IMDB and though I think this is a bad film it's not really "That" bad. Sadly it's structure is awful, the whole thing is ugly as hell, the writing is poor and it doesn't have much going for it.
Certainly niche viewing I'd say its one for Kathy Ireland fans only.
The Good:
Erm.....
The Bad:
Ridiculous levels of overacting
Terribly paced
Not the most visually pleasing film
Many may find Irelands voice grinds after a while
- Platypuschow
- Feb 18, 2019
- Permalink
Albert Pyun presents his vision of the lost city of Atlantis - and it's a vision so cluttered up with claustrophobic settings, weird costumes and noisy, "quirky" minor characters that one thing is for sure: you want to get the hell outta there as soon as possible (unfortunately, it will take you about 80 minutes). The "Alice in Wonderland"-like story is meandering and uninteresting, and there was probably no actress in the world who could have turned this into a good movie, though Kathy Ireland makes an appealing (annoying voice and all) attempt. (*1/2)
Even in her glasses wearing geek mode Kathy Ireland is very easy on the eyes but her acting is not easy to watch. Most of the actors in the film either take it way over the top (beyond "campy fun") or act slightly embarrassed at being there. The effects and soundtrack are nothing special and fairly low budget. The plot line REALLY stretches ones ability to suspend disbelief. Catch this one to laugh at if it comes on a premium movie channel or network Saturday afternoon TV, but DO NOT waist money on this thing.
One worthy mention for trivia purposes is that one of the underground mobsters is played by Deep Roy. Deep is now famous for playing (and doing it well) all the Oompa Loompas in Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."
One worthy mention for trivia purposes is that one of the underground mobsters is played by Deep Roy. Deep is now famous for playing (and doing it well) all the Oompa Loompas in Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."
Campy spoof combining elements of 'Journey to the Center of the Earth,' 'Indiana Jones,' exploitation B-movies of the 60's, and apocalyptic science fiction movies of the 80's. Kathy Ireland is so bizarre in the role of an explorer following in the footsteps of her famous father (as in 'Journey to the Center of the Earth' no less) it's like watching a car accident. You just have to watch though you know it's wrong...oh so wrong. (Apparently popular enough to warrant a sequel that actual takes the title of Jules Verne's classic, "Journey to the Center of the Earth." There are many versions with that title but only one features a cameo return by Kathy Ireland.) "Alien from L.A." is what they used to refer to as "Saturday afternoon matinee" or "popcorn movie" and is better than the sequel only because when "Alien" runs out of steam they strip Kathy down to a bikini top to finish out the movie. Nice trick. Worked for me.
A California valley girl named Wanda Saknussemm (Kathy Ireland), desperately searching for a means to make a new start and escape her nerdish tendencies, goes to Africa in search of her absentee archaeologist father following reports he may have fallen into a bottomless pit only for her to stumble and fall down the same hole. She winds up in a bizarre and strange underground city named Atlantis which just might be at the center of the Earth. There she befriends a miner she calls "Gus" and continues searching for her long lost Papa. However those dwelling in the underground city have heard rumors of there being aliens from the surface world hidden amongst them and despite the government's constant denial that aliens exist on television, they still offer rewards for the capture of anyone who might be thought an "alien" making Wanda a target for many unscrupulous types.
This is a relatively harmless fantasy time-waster. In fact, the non-discriminating fantasy viewer may actually enjoy this one. This is kind of like a California Valley Girl version of ALICE IN WONDERLAND with a bit of THE WIZARD OF OZ thrown in filtered through a BLADE RUNNER-esquire setting with the train of events playing out rather like SPACEHUNTER but this movie isn't anywhere near as good as any of those. I have to admit I actually had fun watching this though it's just so outrageous and outlandish in its approach. The sets too prove surprisingly effective for a low budget movie. Plus I always get a kick out of the state controlled television announcements which prove incredibly transparent in their intent. While this is definitely not for everyone (it stars Kathy Ireland who's really no actress, borrows most of its plot from other movies and things always feel a little too safe and sure for our leads), there are those who might find enjoyment here although it's a little tough to explain why exactly. Just the harmless fun of it all I guess.
This is a relatively harmless fantasy time-waster. In fact, the non-discriminating fantasy viewer may actually enjoy this one. This is kind of like a California Valley Girl version of ALICE IN WONDERLAND with a bit of THE WIZARD OF OZ thrown in filtered through a BLADE RUNNER-esquire setting with the train of events playing out rather like SPACEHUNTER but this movie isn't anywhere near as good as any of those. I have to admit I actually had fun watching this though it's just so outrageous and outlandish in its approach. The sets too prove surprisingly effective for a low budget movie. Plus I always get a kick out of the state controlled television announcements which prove incredibly transparent in their intent. While this is definitely not for everyone (it stars Kathy Ireland who's really no actress, borrows most of its plot from other movies and things always feel a little too safe and sure for our leads), there are those who might find enjoyment here although it's a little tough to explain why exactly. Just the harmless fun of it all I guess.
- Space_Mafune
- Feb 11, 2007
- Permalink
And the title says it all: a cheesy sounding title that is a cheesy sounding joke of a film known as "Alien from L.A." Why not just call it "Alien from South Africa," as this is the place where this movie was filmed? My advice for watching movies that have been featured on "Mystery Science Theater 3000:" do not watch the original version of the movie at all! Period! Always watch the movie with the theater shadow at the bottom of the screen, with a man trapped in space with his two funny, wise-cracking robot friends sitting at the lower right hand corner of the screen. It just seems better that way.
Movie as it was originally seen: Awful! Movie as it was seen on MST3K: Genius!
Movie as it was originally seen: Awful! Movie as it was seen on MST3K: Genius!
- bensonmum2
- Mar 18, 2008
- Permalink
- davegering
- Feb 25, 2006
- Permalink
This movie is a bizarre fantasy tale, that I'm sure doesn't appeal to anyone over 10, but is too strange for children. The plot is stupid, and the acting is some of the worst I've ever seen.
25-year old Kathy Ireland plays a teenage girl who acts like a 9-year old. She seems to have gotten her character's voice by listening to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Her high pitched, screechy baby voice gets annoying the second she starts talking. All of the other acting is bad, but really Kathy Ireland is by far the worst. The plot is also terrible and is kind of a mix between Alice in Wonderland and Mad Max. Wanda Saknussemm (Ireland) gets a letter saying her father, who left her a long time ago, fell down a bottomless pit in Africa, and when she goes to find him, she falls into an underground world full of strange Australian accented people. It's one of the corniest movie you'll ever see, with terrible lines throughout.
It's annoying the effects this movie uses for character development. Kathy Ireland is a nerd who won't do anything or go anywhere. She flies to Africa....wow, what development! She drops her glasses and then doesn't need them. Why does dropping one's glasses represent them not becoming a nerd. It should represent her descent into blindness. It's just stupid. The only positive I can think is there are semi-good special effects and camera work, and the musical score sounds OK.
Overall this a ridiculous family fantasy that will only appeal to those who expect nothing from a movie.
My rating: 1/2 out of ****. 84 mins. PG for violence.
25-year old Kathy Ireland plays a teenage girl who acts like a 9-year old. She seems to have gotten her character's voice by listening to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Her high pitched, screechy baby voice gets annoying the second she starts talking. All of the other acting is bad, but really Kathy Ireland is by far the worst. The plot is also terrible and is kind of a mix between Alice in Wonderland and Mad Max. Wanda Saknussemm (Ireland) gets a letter saying her father, who left her a long time ago, fell down a bottomless pit in Africa, and when she goes to find him, she falls into an underground world full of strange Australian accented people. It's one of the corniest movie you'll ever see, with terrible lines throughout.
It's annoying the effects this movie uses for character development. Kathy Ireland is a nerd who won't do anything or go anywhere. She flies to Africa....wow, what development! She drops her glasses and then doesn't need them. Why does dropping one's glasses represent them not becoming a nerd. It should represent her descent into blindness. It's just stupid. The only positive I can think is there are semi-good special effects and camera work, and the musical score sounds OK.
Overall this a ridiculous family fantasy that will only appeal to those who expect nothing from a movie.
My rating: 1/2 out of ****. 84 mins. PG for violence.
The director of this waste of celluloid specialises in dreadful exploitation films where pretension is all; the previous year he did "Dangerously Close" whose good idea (about gangs getting too much power in school and the school paper editor against them) was submerged in a sea of sloppiness, and he would go on to do "Cyborg," Jean Claude Van Damme's worst film ever (no mean feat). This would-be comedy about a girl - Kathy Ireland in her film debut - who's a total schlump whose inner babe is only awakened after she falls to the centre of the Earth and has a set of badly filmed, impossible-to-follow adventures (chiefly involving a set of dwarves who want her because she has big bones - go figure!) before returning home changed for the better isn't funny, gripping or entertaining in the slightest. And anybody watching this to salivate over Miss Ireland will be put off too - not because of her voice, but because she spends most of the film buried under tons of baggy clothes, with huge glasses to boot. No wonder Cannon, the producers, are out of business. Amazingly, Kathy Ireland has made better films since then...or maybe that isn't so amazing. Next to this, "Barb Wire" is "Aliens."
- Victor Field
- Apr 3, 1999
- Permalink
Really, this routine, harmless, goofy comic fantasy may be instantly forgettable, but it's hard to completely resist - if for no other reason than to see its star in a bikini top. Supermodel Kathy Ireland stars as Wanda, a nerdy Valley Girl whose boyfriend dumps her for being a bore. Well, she's about to show him, as she receives word that her explorer father has "died" in Africa, and travels there herself to learn that in fact dear old dad fell down a deep hole and ended up at the center of the Earth and in the lost city of Atlantis. In this instance, the people of Atlantis are extra-terrestrials who ended up in the planet core long ago, and who regard any strangers to their domain as the aliens. Wanda hooks up with Gus (William R. Moses), a gruff miner, who reluctantly agrees to help her find her father. As directed by the prolific Albert Pyun, this benefits from its production design (here, Atlantis is a dimly lit and seedy environment populated by weirdo characters) and atmosphere. The problem is that it all feels too familiar, and it never really takes off as one might hope; it's stuck in a rather low gear throughout. Makeup design on the characters is amusing, but none of the individuals in this story are all that interesting. Ireland is adorable in the lead, but the squeaky voice which she affects for the role may drive some viewers insane. The supporting cast features a number of no-name performers, but there is some entertainment in seeing how a couple of them play more than one role. However, you will recognize Thom Mathews of "The Return of the Living Dead" and numerous other B movies in the supporting role of Charmin', an amiable young fighter, gorgeous Linda Kerridge who plays both Roris and Auntie Pearl, Don Michael Paul as fed up ex-boyfriend Robbie, and Deep Roy, who plays diminutive mobster Mambino. They all make this watchable enough, but the supposedly big finish is lacking in tension and quite underwhelming. Still, if you're patient and forgiving enough to see this through to the end, Pyun keeps the humour going through the end credits. The subsequent Cannon Group production "Journey to the Center of the Earth" features Ireland reprising the Wanda character in a cameo appearance. Five out of 10.
- Hey_Sweden
- Dec 13, 2012
- Permalink
After having watched the sequel of sorts "Journey to the Center of the Earth" a month ago, I wanted to check out the original, and not only did it not disappoint, but it's even better than I expected. A pure crazy Cannon film with Pyun at his best: it's a funny, nonsensical, inventive and honest (but flawed) attempt to make a great and spectacular show, that I can't help but love in all its length. It's at the same level of camp and pulp as the Quatermain films by the same company. Great fun!
...the stuff that covered the shelves of local video stores in the old days. I love films like this, more for their value as time-pieces than for their artistic merits.
Kathy Ireland is a hoot (or is that "a squeak"?) playing off her "L.A. Gear" persona, but the sets and costumes really make the film. Imagine a pastiche of every 80's music video, and you've pretty much got the art direction for this film.
Wonderfully, watchably bad.. It's a shame that most people only got to see the cut MST3K version.
Kathy Ireland is a hoot (or is that "a squeak"?) playing off her "L.A. Gear" persona, but the sets and costumes really make the film. Imagine a pastiche of every 80's music video, and you've pretty much got the art direction for this film.
Wonderfully, watchably bad.. It's a shame that most people only got to see the cut MST3K version.
Sometimes you watch a movie and just know a few minutes in that in a week's time you won't remember a thing about what you just watched. Alien from LA is that kind of bad movie, where it's just a bland level of schlock - well, except for one thing, which is the voice that Kathy Ireland decided on (or probably with Albert Pyun's expert auteurist direction). This is also a misleading title from the start: while there is an alien in this movie, it's not some other person from another planet or dimension, it's Ireland's character herself, going into some subterranean piece of crap place where everyone considers her the alien presence. Those going on thinking at, from the look of the poster, Kathy Ireland may be playing an alien as some like possessed being (ala Species) think again.
In what I imagine must have been the production design inspiration for the look of the Super Mario Brothers movie, this place that Ireland goes to is dreary looking and the designs for the characters are either really ugly and not in any kind of interesting or charming way (the short guy with the LONG eyelashes) or just off or odd (the woman who looks like discount Helena Bonham Carter). All that happens here is that Ireland, who is a bubble-headed nerd (if that makes sense) gets dumped by her boyfriend at the very start of the movie (because she doesn't, you know, GO places and stuff, sheesh what a lame-o), finds out her father may have died and goes to Africa where he was excavating, and falls down the same "bottomless pit" that he did.
It would be nice if there was anything like, say, engaging characters or good humor, but in absence of that there isn't anything lively enough to mock. I have to wonder how the MST3K episode of this went, and it must have been a slog to come up with enough good jokes in the writer's room (how much can you say about Ireland's squeaky voice that makes Betty Boop sound like Mariah Carey?) It's a dreadful experience not because of its low production value (albeit I will say some of the sets look like they got some work and a few shots are clever with the lighting, but just a few), but because it's just boring. You know where this is going to go, the characters are undeveloped, and the music sounds like it was created in an hour and in all the wrong places for MAXIMUM emotional stuff. Pass.
In what I imagine must have been the production design inspiration for the look of the Super Mario Brothers movie, this place that Ireland goes to is dreary looking and the designs for the characters are either really ugly and not in any kind of interesting or charming way (the short guy with the LONG eyelashes) or just off or odd (the woman who looks like discount Helena Bonham Carter). All that happens here is that Ireland, who is a bubble-headed nerd (if that makes sense) gets dumped by her boyfriend at the very start of the movie (because she doesn't, you know, GO places and stuff, sheesh what a lame-o), finds out her father may have died and goes to Africa where he was excavating, and falls down the same "bottomless pit" that he did.
It would be nice if there was anything like, say, engaging characters or good humor, but in absence of that there isn't anything lively enough to mock. I have to wonder how the MST3K episode of this went, and it must have been a slog to come up with enough good jokes in the writer's room (how much can you say about Ireland's squeaky voice that makes Betty Boop sound like Mariah Carey?) It's a dreadful experience not because of its low production value (albeit I will say some of the sets look like they got some work and a few shots are clever with the lighting, but just a few), but because it's just boring. You know where this is going to go, the characters are undeveloped, and the music sounds like it was created in an hour and in all the wrong places for MAXIMUM emotional stuff. Pass.
- Quinoa1984
- Dec 12, 2015
- Permalink
Mystery Science Theater 3000 took this very bad film (and one of the most current that they used) and made a very funny comedy bit out of it. It is a far more satisfying way to watch the film!
- grimjack-2
- Apr 11, 1999
- Permalink
- Oosterhartbabe
- Mar 10, 2005
- Permalink
Kathy Ireland: the body of a goddess, the face of an angel, the voice of a Smurf.
And the acting talent of a shovel full of calcite. If you don't believe me, check this out: "Alien from L.A." actually depends on her to act throughout 9/10 of the movie! Sure, she ends up in a nice red bikini top and a wrap-around skirt near the end, but that's too little (so to speak) too late.
Seems Ireland plays the daughter of a renowned scientist who falls down into the center of the earth to find him. Along the way, she falls for a guy named Charmin (yes, like the toilet paper - make your own jokes) and finds out how "Mad Max" rejects live. Did you know that people that live down deep in the earth have Austrailian accents? Neither did I.
It's bad (it was MST'd, after all) and also a Golan-Globus production but after all is said and done, Ireland just basically looks lost, like she's trying to find where the photographers are so she can do a photo shoot instead.
And I don't blame her.
One star. And if you insist on watching this, do so with the sound turned off - save your eardrums.
And the acting talent of a shovel full of calcite. If you don't believe me, check this out: "Alien from L.A." actually depends on her to act throughout 9/10 of the movie! Sure, she ends up in a nice red bikini top and a wrap-around skirt near the end, but that's too little (so to speak) too late.
Seems Ireland plays the daughter of a renowned scientist who falls down into the center of the earth to find him. Along the way, she falls for a guy named Charmin (yes, like the toilet paper - make your own jokes) and finds out how "Mad Max" rejects live. Did you know that people that live down deep in the earth have Austrailian accents? Neither did I.
It's bad (it was MST'd, after all) and also a Golan-Globus production but after all is said and done, Ireland just basically looks lost, like she's trying to find where the photographers are so she can do a photo shoot instead.
And I don't blame her.
One star. And if you insist on watching this, do so with the sound turned off - save your eardrums.
The opening credits are pure poetry and I have watched it several times. It had a corny 20's adventure feel to it. Of course Kathy is gorgeous, but that voice! Did she realize this was a talkie. One word--voice coach. Great film for chronic insomnia (along with a bottle of scotch).
...don't watch it. Here's a hint: tune in to the last 5 minutes and you'll catch her in a bikini. Otherwise you'll just have to sit through the flick and endure her helium-sucking voice view for screen time with the inexplicable Aussie accents of the lost city of Atlantis or wherever the heck she goes to to locate her missing father. We now know why Kathy pursued a non-speaking career of modelling: she couldn't have survived the death-threats from those poor headache-suffering victims who heard her voice for more than 30 seconds. The rest of the story is some kind of weird poorly-lit Mad Max mish-mash.
Fitness model Kathy Ireland tries for Hollywood success as a nerdy teenaged girl with a squeaky voice. She's the daughter of a widowed Richard Haines, an explorer who has disappeared in Africa. Surmounting her fears, Miss Ireland flies to Africa and finds herself in an underground Atlantis, where she gets involved in fighting against their troglodyte fascism.
Cinematographer Tom Fraser uses LA at night to represent the underground world, with the set design working from trash heaps. It's a silly little wanderjahr for Miss Ireland's character, with all the plot points pulled without much thought from the 1980s playbook. Her character is named "Wanda Saknussemm " -- get it? -- which she would also use in the version of JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH in which she would appear later that year.
Cinematographer Tom Fraser uses LA at night to represent the underground world, with the set design working from trash heaps. It's a silly little wanderjahr for Miss Ireland's character, with all the plot points pulled without much thought from the 1980s playbook. Her character is named "Wanda Saknussemm " -- get it? -- which she would also use in the version of JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH in which she would appear later that year.
What a great movie. With a dark, dusty visual style every bit as good as "Bladerunner", with costumes & props every bit as good as "Mad Max", with a totalitarian theme every bit as good as "THX-1138", and with a satirical wit every bit as deadpan as "Robocop", this film was quite an achievement.
It has so much going on... For me, one of the strange highlights was seeing Deep Roy (who played the oompa loompas in the recent "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory") as the sinister crime boss... sort of like the Godfather meets Tattoo from Fantasy Island. Another winning performance was Kathy Ireland herself who managed to pull off a sort of Alice (in Wonderland) but with a voice like Betty Boop. How she did that & keep a straight face is beyond me.
The plot is simple yet bizarre, a sort of pastiche of "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" mixed with "Wizard of Oz" and maybe some bits of "Sixteen Candles" thrown in for good measure. I don't understand how MST3k could mock this film as it already clearly mocks itself. I mean, come on, with Kathy Ireland's crazy helium voice, it's pretty obvious that nothing is intended to be taken seriously. Still people just don't get it, thinking this is a bad movie. On the contrary, it's so good at making fun of itself that nobody realizes it.
In that sense it's a lot like "Barbarella" except with the sexiness considerably toned down (yes, so if you came here expecting to see some gratuitous cleavage & booty shots of swimsuit models, you're better off with Baywatch). I'm not sure what its official MPAA rating is, but I'd say it's a very tame PG. And that's precisely what makes it so unexpected and hard to categorize. You'd think it would be a scifi sex farce like "Barbarella" or "Galaxina", but it is definitely not (although I wouldn't discount an occasional adult double-entendre or two).
Expect something maybe like "Labyrinth" but with a harder edge and a much stronger sense of satire, and I think you'll have a blast. Like Labyrinth, it's clean & family friendly, but there's definitely a darkness & sophisticated sense of humour that makes it clearly for grown ups too.
Pay no attention to the MST3k lemmings who rated this a 2.5 out of 10. If you go into this expecting to have a good time, you won't be disappointed. The visuals alone are worth the price of admission.
It has so much going on... For me, one of the strange highlights was seeing Deep Roy (who played the oompa loompas in the recent "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory") as the sinister crime boss... sort of like the Godfather meets Tattoo from Fantasy Island. Another winning performance was Kathy Ireland herself who managed to pull off a sort of Alice (in Wonderland) but with a voice like Betty Boop. How she did that & keep a straight face is beyond me.
The plot is simple yet bizarre, a sort of pastiche of "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" mixed with "Wizard of Oz" and maybe some bits of "Sixteen Candles" thrown in for good measure. I don't understand how MST3k could mock this film as it already clearly mocks itself. I mean, come on, with Kathy Ireland's crazy helium voice, it's pretty obvious that nothing is intended to be taken seriously. Still people just don't get it, thinking this is a bad movie. On the contrary, it's so good at making fun of itself that nobody realizes it.
In that sense it's a lot like "Barbarella" except with the sexiness considerably toned down (yes, so if you came here expecting to see some gratuitous cleavage & booty shots of swimsuit models, you're better off with Baywatch). I'm not sure what its official MPAA rating is, but I'd say it's a very tame PG. And that's precisely what makes it so unexpected and hard to categorize. You'd think it would be a scifi sex farce like "Barbarella" or "Galaxina", but it is definitely not (although I wouldn't discount an occasional adult double-entendre or two).
Expect something maybe like "Labyrinth" but with a harder edge and a much stronger sense of satire, and I think you'll have a blast. Like Labyrinth, it's clean & family friendly, but there's definitely a darkness & sophisticated sense of humour that makes it clearly for grown ups too.
Pay no attention to the MST3k lemmings who rated this a 2.5 out of 10. If you go into this expecting to have a good time, you won't be disappointed. The visuals alone are worth the price of admission.
I've done that, so I know for fact it's true. It really is. I'm pretty forgiving when it comes to bad movies too. I could even say that I enjoyed watching Manos: Hands of Fate after watching this.
I can't really say exactly why this movie was bad, as it was so horrible I've blacked out all memory of the plot. Or was there a plot at all? I suppose it's just as well.
Not even Crow, Servo and Mike's humor could make this movie tolerable. I suppose if they created a version where they muted out Kathy Ireland's voice, then it might resemble something that's a slightly more annoying than Chinese water torture. But as is, I'd take the head crusher, the rack or even the Spanish tickler, anything but this movie.
Avoid at all costs.
I can't really say exactly why this movie was bad, as it was so horrible I've blacked out all memory of the plot. Or was there a plot at all? I suppose it's just as well.
Not even Crow, Servo and Mike's humor could make this movie tolerable. I suppose if they created a version where they muted out Kathy Ireland's voice, then it might resemble something that's a slightly more annoying than Chinese water torture. But as is, I'd take the head crusher, the rack or even the Spanish tickler, anything but this movie.
Avoid at all costs.