Filipino Mob boss Lucifer Devlin (Wilson) hires sexy female Interpol agent Cleopatra Wong (Lee) to find his daughter Debbie (Rodrigo) who has been taken prisoner by one of Devlin's ex-friends Manny (Adair). Cleopatra gets the assistance of a gay ex-cop named Tony Del Rio (Guerrero) and a 300+ pound female fortune teller named Rotunda (Carvajal) who eats an awful lot, all of the time.
And that is it for plot I'm afraid.
I've seen many bad films in my life. I've sat through Headless Eyes and Oasis of the Zombies, I've even made it all the way through an Andy Milligan movie and even Ed Wood's worst (Plan Nine From Outer Space being his best), but I have to admit that Devil's Three tested even my patience for bad movies.
It's just lousy in every way. It tries hard to be funny but fails. It tries hard to be serious but fails. We have the worst characters ever in a film. A bad martial artist female agent teamed with a fat fortune teller and a gay cop is not good combination in my book, and never will be.
What possessed them to even make this. Who said yes to the script ?
I want to know this, I need to know this and I need to know now.
I blame Bobby Suarez for delivering this film to me. If you ever read this Bobby...........
Because you have wasted 83 minutes of my life!
Cleopatra Wong, Terry and Rotunda are sitting in Devlin's house when the kidnappers call to make their demands. Devlin asks to speak to his daughter, as any loving father would. His daughter comes to the phone and only speaks for a moment as our three crappy heroes watch on. Devlin puts the phone down and turns to his helpers.
Devlin "That was the kidnappers"
Cleo "Did they say anything ?"
Devlin "They want the money"
Cleo "Any ideas where they could be ?"
Devlin "No!"
Cleo "Debbie ?"
Deviln "They only let her speak for a moment"
Cleo "What did she say ?"
Devlin "Nothing!"
Cleo "She must have said something!"
Devlin "She said that if their demands are not agreed to she will be put on ice!"
Rotunda "That's it, she's at the local Ice plant!"
And off they go...And there she is. They even hitchhike to get there.
Crap!!! (And that's generous)
Watch your back Bob!
