Atlantis Interceptors

Raiders of the Lost Ark ripoff, crossed with a Mad Max ripoff, and a disaster/ horror movie ripoff, with sunken artifacts ripped off and thrown in for added randomness.

An incomprehensible mish mash of strange ideas and action vignettes, this has a sudden hurricane(?) sinking the oil rig carrying scientists who are attempting raise a Russian sub from the ocean floor. After being picked up by a trio of thieves on a boat, they stumble onto the mythical island of Atlantis (raised by the radiation of the Russian nuclear sub(? again)) and its violent, biker gang inhabitants. Who even knew there were bikers on Atlantis? After being attacked by said violent biker gang inhabitants, the group breaks into the island's conveniently heavily armed, abandoned police force, and declare war.

Things get even more confusing after that, but that's irrelevant. There's no sense in even trying to decipher the story, because it's obvious that there isn't one, they were just making it up as they go along. The purpose of this movie was clearly just the action, and there's plenty of that: they're making their getaway on a stolen bus when a helicopter filled with Atlantis' biker gang launch an attack. But our heros don't bother to shoot the helicopter. Instead, they let the thugs jump out of it and onto the roof of the van, where a fistfight ensues not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES, before they climb out of the windows and onto the roof of this moving bus to shoot the helicopter. The bus crashes though a barricade and barely makes contact with two other cars, but they immediately explode and burst into a ball of flames.

And there's that stone statue thingie that shoots lasers out of its glowing red eyes.

This can actually be fun, if you turn your mind completely off, and enjoy its absurdities, hilariously awful (and completely nonsensical) dialogue, and overly dramatic death scenes; many of the deaths are accompanied by yells of "Ay ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

A disclaimer in the closing credits reads: "All events and characters depicted in this photoplay are imaginary and any resemblance to actual persons and events is unintentional and purely coincidental". Imaginary?