House of the Long Shadows (1983)

Desi Arnaz Jr.: Kenneth Magee

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stationmaster : It is a cursed place.

  Kenneth Magee : I'm sure it's drenched in evil.

  Stationmaster : A cursed place.

  Kenneth Magee : Filled with things best not spoken of. Yes, I saw the movie. You do know how to get there?

• Sam Allyson : [Ken gazes at Mary]  Don't tell me, love at first sight.

  Kenneth Magee : No, just feeling horny.

  Sam Allyson : [laughs]  I might have known I'd get an answer like that.

  Kenneth Magee : I believe in being realistic about these things.

  Sam Allyson : Oh falling in love is very realistic. People do it all the time.

  Kenneth Magee : Not in my novels they don't. I don't believe in it.

  Sam Allyson : Yes, that seems to be the current trend among you young writers.

  Kenneth Magee : Well it's a cynical age we live in.

  Sam Allyson : Don't I know it?

• Sam Allyson : The name of the place by the way is, I better write it down.

  Kenneth Magee : [reads the name]  Bllyddpaetwr.

  Sam Allyson : I told you it was in Wales, the nearest I ever got to pronouncing it was Baldpate... Baldpate Manor.

• Mary Norton : Mr. Magee, you're in terrible danger, you must leave here immediately.

  Kenneth Magee : How come you know my name? And why the mask?

  Mary Norton : Don't ask me to explain! Please, I beg you, just come away with me now, before it's too late.

  Kenneth Magee : [laughs]  Hold on, I'm not going anywhere. I've got $20,000 resting on tonight.

  Mary Norton : But you don't understand.

  Kenneth Magee : You're damn right I don't. Now, either you tell me what's going on or you pack up your mask and go back to where you came from. What was all that business at the railway station? How come you followed me all the way down here?

  Mary Norton : I had no choice, I was going to warn you at the station but, *they* saw me. That's why I had to get out fast.

  Kenneth Magee : Okay, first thing's first, who are you?

  Mary Norton : Katherine, Katherine DeCorseaut.

  [runs to the window] 

  Mary Norton : I think I saw one of them outside. We must go now! If they find us together, they'll kill us both!

  Kenneth Magee : Hold it. Lady, I'm losing valuable time and I should be working.

  Mary Norton : Mr. Magee, have you ever heard of an organization called O.P.I.T.? Organization for the Promotion of International Terrorism.

  Kenneth Magee : Sounds like something out of a James Bond movie.

  Mary Norton : They're very real, I assure you.

  Kenneth Magee : And you're an undercover agent, that's why you run around wearing little old lady masks.

  Mary Norton : I'm serious, deadly serious!

  Kenneth Magee : And I suppose that the old couple downstairs aren't humble caretakers but trained assassins, is that it? Look, Miss DeCorseaut, is that it? I don't know who put you up to this, but I'm afraid the whole mistaken identity plot's been too overworked to be convincing any longer. I saw North by Northwest too.

  Mary Norton : But you are in TERRIBLE danger, you could lose your life.

  Kenneth Magee : Worse, I could lose $20,000.

• Kenneth Magee : [to Mary]  Well now, welcome to Midnight Manor, the title of my new novel if I ever get it written.

  Lord Elijah Grisbane : You know this young woman?

  Kenneth Magee : Not yet. Look, I was told by the trustees of this place that I have the only key. Now it makes some sense that the caretakers would have a key,

  [to Mary] 

  Kenneth Magee : but what's your excuse?

• Victoria Grisbane : We're the caretakers here, sir, it's our right to be here. And you, sir?

  Kenneth Magee : I have, I've got permission to be here from Sir Richard Thornton...

  [Victoria and Elijah don't respond] 

  Kenneth Magee : He owns the place? He fixed it so I could come down here to right, for a bet, $20,000, that's a lot of money...

  [they still don't respond] 

  Kenneth Magee : I've only got 24 hours, Jesus!

  Victoria Grisbane : Please!

  Kenneth Magee : Excuse me?

  Victoria Grisbane : I will upon this occasion, but please, the Good Lord did not die on the cross to have His name taken in vain.

  Kenneth Magee : I'm truly sorry, ma'am, really I meant no offense.

• Sam Allyson : When I think of Tolstoy, Victor Hugo, Charles Dickens, where are they all now I ask myself?

  Kenneth Magee : I think they're dead, Sam.

  Sam Allyson : You know what I mean. They dealt with people, human passions on the grand scale.

  Kenneth Magee : People have different behavior patterns now. They just don't go around acting like they're out of Wuthering Heights.

  Sam Allyson : Are you trying to tell me that Wuthering Heights with all its brooding intensity, isn't as involving and real as a contemporary novel?

  Kenneth Magee : It's over the top. I mean anyone can write one of those things. It's just a question of letting your imagination go bananas. Jesus! You want that kind of novel? I can knock it off for you in 24 hours.

  Sam Allyson : That I don't believe.

  Kenneth Magee : $10,000.

  Sam Allyson : Oh come now.

  Kenneth Magee : $10,000, I'll bet you.

  Sam Allyson : Kenneth I rea...

  Kenneth Magee : $20,000.

• Corrigan : Mr. Magee, it's quite obvious that you and Mrs. Norton must leave this place at once with a lunatic brother running around, God knows what will happen. Do you have a car?

  Kenneth Magee : Outside. I think you're right. I'll go get my things. How about you?

  Corrigan : Oh don't you worry about me, I've no intentions of being left up here on my own. I'm going to find the telephone and tell the police what's been happening.

• Corrigan : [find the tires on every car shredded]  It would seem, Mr. Magee, that we are imprisoned here.

  Kenneth Magee : I'd feel a whole lot safer right now if I had a gun in my back pocket.

• Kenneth Magee : All I need is somewhere I can have total isolation, and above all atmosphere.

  Sam Allyson : Well there's this friend of mine, he's got a property in Wales, I gather it's in the process of being sold. How do you fancy an old manner house? Hasn't been lived in for years, it's certainly an isolated part of the country, as for atmosphere...

  Kenneth Magee : Sounds great.

  Sam Allyson : Now hold on, dear boy, I mean, it really has been empty for over 40 years. There'll be no electricity...

  Kenneth Magee : Even better, I can type by candlelight.

  Sam Allyson : You're joking.

  Kenneth Magee : It's perfect for what I've got in mind. I'm telling you it's perfect, Sam, fix it for me, will ya?

  Sam Allyson : You're mad, still if that's what you want, I'll give him a ring and try to arrange it, just as soon as I get back to the office.

  Kenneth Magee : I can't wait to get started.

  Sam Allyson : 24 hours remember, that means you deliver me a completed manuscript here, no later than, allowing you traveling time there and back, 3 o' clock Saturday afternoon.

  Kenneth Magee : I'll be here.