User reviews

"Mr Dean is a Yank from the States." Oh yes, this is the level of dialogue in this cheep, farcical tale of the fabled Scottish monster. There are several issues with the film, but where to begin? The story (if that's what we can call it) focuses on primarily American scientists who are studying the loch, in search of Nessie. There is Jack Stuart (Doc Livingston) who is the stereotypical Scotsman, kilt and all, who has lived at the loch most his life. He owns a magic telescope that has the power to defy both space and perspective, when early in the film his fixed position scope at one time looks down on a plane that is clearly high above mountainous terrain, then is parallel to the lochs surface, as the monster's head protrudes from the water.

Bizarrely, there is no indication that there had been any monster attacks in the past, but all of a sudden, Nessie decides that it's about time it started chowing down on some human flesh. Although, as we later discover, Nessie has standards, and is most certainly a moral killing monster, as it only attacks the wicked! Incredible! The monster itself (as you can see in the picture here) is pretty lame. But I have no issues with it. It is a low budget film, and it is actually quite a well constructed prop. However, for a monster that is attacking people, and is supposed to add a bit of horror into the film, you just have to look into the eyes, and actually the monster is a little cute.

The film is clearly not at Loch Ness, in fact, it is not even in Scotland. IMDb does confirm that it was filmed at Lake Tahoe in California. This shows, as the trees are wrong, and even the sounds of wildlife are native only to North America. Now onto the actors - a term used here very loosely. I have never heard so many appalling attempts at a Scottish accent in my life. I can do a better Scottish accent, and I'm rubbish at any accent! As I was watching, I could only guess that when casting, they were simply asked if they could roll their R's - "Yes." "You're hired."

Whilst it is easy to ridicule this film for almost everything in it, it is still incredibly fun to watch. I guess that it would qualify for one of those so-bad-it's-good labels. But it really is bad. For some bizarre reason, there is also the story of a Nazi propaganda plane that crashed into the Loch during the war. Odd, stupid, full of some of the worst acting ever, but a bit of harmless fun. The Wrath of Blog, watching films so you don't have to.

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A few buddies and myself have the strange hobby of seeking out really horrendous and utterly obscure (for a good reason) horror flicks and then subsequently watching them under the influence of mind-broadening consumer goods like alcohol and/or soft drugs. Surely a lot of people do this, but they watch movies like the "Godzilla" remake, whereas we torment our eyes and brains with stuff like "The Loch Ness Horror". And, eureka, this is a prototypic bad movie! We open traditionally, with bag pipes music during the opening credits. This is, of course, to emphasize extra to us dumb viewers that the story is supposed to take place in the Scottish highlights and not in director Larry Buchanan's birthplace Texas. For that exact same reason, the cast members are seemingly also instructed to overact tremendously and talk with talk with atrocious accents. The American marine biologist Prof. George Sanderson arrives in Loch Ness with some brand new and highly sophisticated sonar equipment to track down the whereabouts of the legendary monster in the lake. Meanwhile, there are many other parties hanging around the lake, like a group of kids on a Science Camp (what a boring way to spend your vacation), retired army generals looking for a Luftwaffe plane that crashed in the lake during WWII and a bunch of thieves and failed scientists that are steeling the monster's egg. You would think that these numerous sub plots bring some diversity and excitement in the plot, but unfortunately that's not the case. "Loch Ness Horror" is an overall boring flick with only a couple of noteworthy elements. The monster itself, for example, is a delightfully cheesy creation with cute eyes and a smoky breath. His teeth also glow in the dark, which is quite useful when you're dumb enough to go out on a boat ride in the middle of the night. Near the end of the film, the remaining cast members were more interested in the lost Luftwaffe plane than in the monster, so it was about time to wrap it up. "Loch Ness Horror" is carefully recommended in case you're a fan of bad B-movies from the 80's, but be advised that it contains an overload of senseless dialogs and a bizarrely rushed ending that makes it look as if the film suddenly ran out of budget.

What can I say about a movie as bad as this? The people who made this movie, didn't even try to make the monster in it look realistic. You never see more than its head, and the head is just a giant puppet that has little movement except for when it opens it mouth to roar. And the sound they used for the roaring is the best part. At many points in the movie it sounds exactly like a TIE fighter flying over! I couldn't believe that when I first heard it and had to rewind several times to make it sink in. Other than the terrible looking monster and the noises it makes, there isn't much more to this film except for a few corny attack scenes and the crazy Scotsman attacking the kids trying to have an intimate moment in his castle. Still, it's watchable if you like this sort of trash. I know I do....

Something strange is happening in Loch Ness. The water is crystal clear, nor cold. A giant robotic plastic monster emerges and kills Scots! What is this movie?! First, I love reading stories about Nessie, sea monsters in general. When i saw this for sale, i thought it was a cheap rip off of jaws. No. It was terrible! The story was pointless, acting was 100% garbage, the only up side was the cool mechanical Nessie they used. It was full of inaccuracy, wrong locations, and bad everything. Not worth your while, just leave it on the shelf (or garbage can) you found it on. On second note, This film was shot in Cailifornia, not Loch Ness, a major diss to Nessie fans.

If it wasn't for Loch Ness we would never see such corny delights about Nessie. Larry Buchanan's take on this Scottish legend is quite entertaining at times as movies about monsters made of plastic can be. The fake is hilarious, the fake Scottish accents are funny. The kill-scenes cracked me up. I also loved the fact that there were more American tourists and Nessie-hunters from Houston, Tx invading Loch Ness then actual locals living there. Still, this film never reaches the cheesy heights the classic trailer promises. Not a total loss though, makes a cool double feature along with THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER (1977).

Although I like some other films made by this director, this is the only one I ever paid to see in a theater. I never made it to the end before I walked out. The ad showed a neat-looking monster, but the puppet/parade float used in this film looks nothing like it. Actually, I didn't know this was made by the same guy who did THE EYE CREATURES when I went to see it. Had I known that, there's no way I'd have paid to watch it. Some movies are so bad they are good but this is not one of them.

In the mysterious and beautiful lake of Loch Ness where it's the home of the fabled creature, a couple of Nessie hunters stole the famed monster's egg as the beast goes on the rampage killing people so she can get her egg back.

Entertaining and damn near hilarious monster movie with bad acting, laughable fake Scottish accents and a incoherent plot. But i think the monster is kinda believable unlike some reviewers which call the Nessie creature in the movie fake looking and there's some amusing sequences with the title beast in them killing people.

If you like MST3K and b-movies, then this is worth a look for it's a real guilty pleasure of mine.

OMG, another bad film by Larry Buchanan. That guy did not learn to stop, did he? First, he gives us zero budget sci-fi movies and lies about famous dead people, and now he is exploiting the Loch Ness Monster as being vicious.

The "plot" is basically about some southerners of the USA pretending to be Scottish camping out at Loch Ness. Alas, out on the fishing hole, oops, I mean lake of Loch Ness, there is a killer inflatable monster that clams itself to be Nessie, going out of its way to kill people for no apparent reason.

I am surprised that the crew of MST3K never heard of this movie. Yes, it is that bad too.

Oh Larry Buchanan, we do have fun! Other than B schlockers Attack of the Eye Creatures and Zontar the Thing from Venus, this is the next of Larry's movies that I have had the fortune of seeing. I haven't personally been to Scotland, but a lot of faux Scots accents didn't seem to help convince me they were there either. Is it just me or a magic trick how the Scottish accents drift in and out especially during extended dialogue scenes. Hey, they had to sell it somehow I guess.

Kudos to Doc Livingston for playing Scot eccentric Jack Stewart who provides the most entertainment out of the lot. Jack's daughter (played by Miki McKenzie) is nice to look at and has the best effort in sounding passably Scottish. I won't try to give away about the movie's main attraction, but let's just say that it has really shiny velour skin in sunlight..at least from the neck up. The nose bubbles added a nice touch.

Larry shows his ability to switch from day to night and back to day scenes. Hey, at least they got to shoot the film in sunny weather. Although far from a good movie, Loch Ness Horror is a manageable work by Mr Buchanan and definitely earns it's 'B' grading.

The Loch Ness Horror is the first film I've encountered so far from Larry Buchanan. Taking one of the oddly underused icons of cryptozoology, a clearly non Scottish setting and some extravagant acting, Buchanan crafts an almost but not quite there work of occasionally inspired b grade junk. The titular beast has a decent enough look to it, it's a big plesiosaur looking beast that likes to nosh on people, though its non jointed jaws mean that it tends more to sort of drape its mouth over people and let them do the work of appearing to be eaten. Its pretty rubbery and not much better than the sort of thing some particularly determined students might botch up over a weekend with some latex, but it has charm. A shame that it doesn't appear more often and doesn't off many people. The film seems more concerned with things like plot and character but lacks the talent or interest for the more cerebral approach. Still, the actors seem to be having fun, often broad to the point of hilarity, between them they conjure a bubbling brew of shonky goodness. The biggest name is b cinema notable Stuart Lancaster, of various Russ Meyer and other Buchanan films fame. He plays a slightly mad scientist, thus gets some fun scenery chewing time, and comically daft motivation. He enters into the spirit of things well, though is slightly restrained for the role. Love interest Miki McKenzie is occasionally incomprehensible, probably best for her as she grapples with her off written character and stiff conversations with hero with the piece, the strapping young Barry Buchanan. Not exactly a thespian is Barry, but he still carries the film well enough, that is to say he stoically hefts his scenes along, handles his dialogue like timber but at least he keeps it moving. Sandy Kenyon is slightly left out by the fact that he appears near competent and so doesn't make as much of an impression. Main plaudits go to Doc Livingston with a fiercely exaggerated Scots accent, his r rolling grizzled old timer is a total hoot. Its lucky that the acting is of interest, since there's a good deal of talk here, (biology, romance, conspiracies, that sort of thing) and the film is a bit slow, there are also padding shots a-plenty to keep things going. The pleasing location means that these shots are generally attractive, but Buchanan rarely puts them to suspenseful use and the film too often slides towards the dull. Still some interesting moments (and one bit that I actually found pretty creepy) but mostly this is skippable for all but bad movie connoisseurs.

What did I just watch? To say this film is weird is an understatement! Maybe it is a movie that is fun to watch to revel in its awfulness, but still The Loch Ness Horror is a mind-boggling mess. Still I guess it is worth the watch for its novelty value.

The Loch Ness Horror does look cheap. The sets/sceneries are somewhat nice with some dazzling early underwater sequences, but the slip-shod editing and cinematography spoil it. Even the Loch Ness Monster is cheesy with a design that is overly-reminiscent of a large toy/model/inflatable with overly-cute eyes. The dialogue is incoherent and laughable, the plot is a mess with a rushed ending that makes you go that's it?, the film is very rushed overall, the direction is incompetent and the acting complete with some appalling accents is dreadful.

In conclusion, a mess but worth the watch perhaps once for the novelty value. 1/10 Bethany Cox

You can guarantee Americans to make a movie that plays up to ethnic stereotypes . It's interesting to see that Hollywood rarely makes films set in present day Germany possibly because they're shocked that's there's a famine of goosestepping Nazis . Not so Celtic nations where the IRA are gallant freedom fighters or Scotland where the Clans are united in fighting for freedom led by an American born Aussie with his face painted blue . If nothing else then a film featuring the Loch Ness Monster produced in America should be worth watching just for a laugh . The bad news is this film isn't even bad enough to qualify for guilty pleasure material

From the opening scene nothing about this film feels accurate as we see yachts sailing around in the background and a couple of American scientists lament that " The broads here don't put out unless you marry them " which leads me to believe no one is trying in any context within or outside the film to paint an accurate picture of Scotland

Within moments one of the scientists ends up as a light lunch for Nessie and the surviving scientist makes his way to shore where strangely he doesn't contact the police to let them know that his colleague has just been eaten . Is this to convey how greedy he is and how he might come a cropper at a later stage ? Make your own mind up

It's not enough to just make a simple film with a simple premise about the Loch Ness Monster and the plotting deviates all over the place where in turns it becomes a thriller and has a subplot about an old German plane conveniently lying at the bottom of Loch Ness as if the producers have got fed up with the main plot and want to introduce an Alistair Maclean story

Being Scottish I can promise you that none of the accents are close to resembling any Scottish accent I have heard and the accents sound like an American putting on a fake English accent while trying to sound Irish as in " OH'll shut yoo with this goon lassie " . Despite being set in 1981 it features Scottish soldiers wearing 1950s battle dress armed with guns that were obviously bought from a toy shop and when you've got a film this amateurish you know what to expect from the monster which resembles a paper maiche glove puppet

This is the first Larry Buchanan movie I ever viewed, and sadly wasn't the last. I only bothered checking it out after seeing the trailer in "Fantastic Dinosaurs of the Movies" many years ago as a kid. I found the deceptive box art and melodramatic trailer even more entertaining than the film itself. I haven't even bothered watching this again for almost twenty years, but I remember enough to write this review.

The main story goes like this. At "Loch Ness", a team of scientists led by Pratt seek out to find Nessie, but instead discover eggs laid by the monster. Unsurprisingly, Nessie gets mad and begins rampaging around the area, searching for her egg. Meanwhile, another scientist named George Sanderson (Sandy Kenyon) recruits longtime Loch Ness resident Jack Stewart (Doc Livingston) to prove Nessie exists. I guess they ran out of money, because the rushed ending involved a crashed Luftwaffe plane being destroyed as a cover-up. There's a sub-plot or two thrown in that I couldn't be bothered to follow, like a crazy ax-wielding Scot living on a non-existent island in the middle of Loch Ness who tries to kill some teens.

Despite being a "horror" movie, the monster effects were too cheesy to frighten anyone. Nessie is a ridiculously fake looking, paper-mâché puppet head mounted on a long pole with a barely functioning mouth. Her roar was simply a shameless recycle of the TIE fighter sound from Star Wars. Even her misty breath and nostrils bubbling didn't look too impressive.

The attack scenes are just as dull. The underwater attacks are too close up and fast paced to make anything out, and the night attacks are so dark, you can barely see what's happening. Even when she kills in broad daylight, it's laughable. She apparently kills a couple of soldiers by nuzzling them to death. There's only one mildly disturbing death scene when Nessie dragged some guy in a sleeping bag into the water. Other than that, nothing in this movie was scary.

The acting is predictably bad, since all of the "actors/actresses" are all just members of Buchanans family. And I've heard enough legitimate Scottish accents to tell them apart from the obviously fake ones from the cast. And that's not all that solidifies the fact this didn't even take place at Loch Ness, but at Lake Tahoe, California. You can easily tell by the out of place California redwoods seen several times. Any other attempt to pass off California as Scotland fails miserably, like with the Scottish soldiers wearing clearly outdated uniforms and armed with M16s instead of the correct L1A1s. You get the idea.

This film is so low-budget and cheesy, yet you could say it's so bad, it's good. Otherwise, it's just a dime a dozen budget monster movie worth a single watch on a lazy day.

The acting in this film is laughable at best. The scenery clearly California. And the "monster" Nessie. It is one of the lamest, rubbery monster I've ever seen. It looks nothing like the chilling monster on the movie poster. It's like a lovable rubber dinosaur small kids would hug. And when the monster attacks? Instead of gruesome, bloody terror, it looks like it's playing. Don't be fooled like I was with the movie poster. It's a lame movie with a cuddly monster. If you're not too bored, you might get a few laughs. And the fake Scottish accents? Pitiful.