Plot

On its way to Denver, a cargo of whiskey destined for the miners, is sought after by the Temperance League, the U.S. Cavalry, the local Indians and the miners themselves.

A wagon train heads for Denver with a cargo of whisky for the miners. Chaos ensues as the Temperance League, the US cavalry, the miners and the local Indians all try to take control of the valuable cargo.—Steve Crook <[email protected]>

The film opens with a narrator using a documentary style description of the events of November 1867. He tells us there were all indications that it will be a hard winter and citizens of Denver are concerned about the lack of whiskey in town. A bad winter might close the mountain passes leaving the city dry until late spring. A group of miners and saloon owners consult scout 'Oracle' Jones (Donald Pleasence) about what to do. Fortified with some whiskey he has a vision of them pooling all their liquor needs into one big order and getting a reliable company to agree to an iron clad contact to get the alcohol to Denver before snow closes the trails.

Back east, businessman Frank Wallingham (Brian Keith) storms into the local newspaper office to confront Editor Hobbes (Whit Bissell). The newspaper has printed the story that Wallingham will be shipping 40 wagons of liquor to Denver and Wallingham is concerned that the publicity will attract Indians, or even worse, government tax revenue agents. He tells the editor that as he has every penny he has tied up in the train and he intends to accompany it personally to Denver and ask for an army escort from Fort Russell to protect him along the trail. The editor, annoyed at Wallingham, decides to send a telegram about the wagon train to the well-known, temperance leader Cora Templeton Massingale (Lee Remick), who is currently visiting Fort Russell.

Despite the editors observation to Wallingham that "Indians don't read newspapers" word of the wagon train quickly spreads to the Native Americans in the area. One tribe, lead by Chief Five Barrels (Robert J. Wilke) and sub-Chief Walks-Stooped-Over (Martin Landau) decides to investigate.

At Fort Russell commander Col. Thaddeus Gearhart (Burt Lancaster) has been out on the trail for a few days and Capt. Paul Slater (Jim Hutton) his second-in-command, has been left in charge. Slater is courting Gearhart's daughter, Louise (Pamela Tiffin), and allows her to convince him to let Massingale hold an anti-alcohol rally at the Fort. Massingale is a good speaker and gets the crowd marching around the Fort and singing with the assistance of the army band. Some of the other troops get involved by punctuating the music with cannon fire.

Gearhart, returning to the Fort, hears the shouting, bugles and cannon fire and assumes the Fort is under attack and arrives in full assault mode. When he finds it is just Massingale and her followers, he is peeved and orders Slater to report to him at his quarters. He is even more peeved when he finds Slater and his daughter are already alone in his quarters making out. Louise admits to her father that she was purposely distracting Slater so that he would not shut down the rally.

Gearhart finally gets to settle down to a bath when Massingale storms into his quarters after getting the telegram about the Wallingham wagon train. Gearhart is clearly irked about having this 30ish, good-looking female invade his domain, but she tells him that to a woman that has already been windowed twice, seeing a man in a bath is no big deal. She demands that Gearhart deny the request for escort. Gearhart replies that Wallingham is a "taxpayer and a good Republican" and he cannot refuse his request for help. The next day Slater is sent with a company of troops to intercept the wagon train and give it escort.

In Denver the miners become concerned about reports that the Indians may attack the wagon train and consult Jones again. He has a vision of a Miner's Militia that goes out to escort the train back and they set out along the trail.

The wagon train is having some trouble too as Wallingham has hired Irish teamsters to drive the last 10 of his wagons and their leader, Kevin O'Flaherty (Tom Stern), is constantly hitting him with labor demands and threats to go out on strike.

Persuaded by his daughter, Gearhart agrees to let Massingale use the mess hall for a goodbye speech. There Massingale declares that she intends to go to Denver to stop the train. Louise declares that she will go with her and the rest of the women at the rally decide to go too.

Gearhart decides he had no choice but to escort the women to Denver, if for no other reason than to get rid of Massingale. Problems develop the first night on the trail when the women, having brought bath tubs with them, decide to bath in the nude and his troops climb the nearby trees hoping to catch a glimpse. Gearhart, annoyed by this development, storms over to Massingale and catches her in mid-bath (much as she did with him several days before). He is even more annoyed when she tells him her plans have changed and she has decided to meet the wagon train on the trail, and not in Denver. He tells her he will not escort her to the wagon train as he fears the women may try and stop it by throwing their bodies in front of the wagons.

Gearhart realizes that he cannot let the women go without any protection, however, so he develops a strategy of "detached contact" where his company secretly follows the women at a distance.

All this activity comes to a head one morning at what the narrator tells us is the "Battle of Whiskey Hills." The Indians decide to break into three groups, attack the wagon train, draw off the guard and steal several wagons. That same morning, however, the wagon train traveling west escorted by Slater's patrol will run into the Miner's Militia, heading North; the Massingale group, headed South-East; and Gearhart's company, also headed South-East. The Indians will attack from the North.

Unfortunately, to make things worse, the morning of the attack is subject to a horrific, blinding sand storm and total confusion reigns. The Indians cannot see the sunrise, and cannot coordinate their attacks. Groups race by each other in the storm, perplexed by not finding who they are expecting to see. Bullets fly everywhere and finally each group, including the Indians, hunker down in a circle while they fire at each other blindly.

When the storm clears Gearhart is amazed to find that despite the rampant gunfire, nobody has been killed. He holds a conference with all parties. While the motives of most are clear, the Indians state (through a translator) that they were peacefully hunting buffalo when they were drawn into the incident. They state that after they are given presents, they will go home. Unfortunately this is mistranslated and Gearhart thinks the Indians are offering him a gift. He tells them thank you, but no thanks, and sends them on their way.

The Indians, however, keep following the group which is now composed of both units of the cavalry, the whiskey train, the womans group and the miners militia. Gearhart calls another meeting where he gets Jones to translate and realizes that the Indians are the ones who want presents, most likely some firewater. Gearhart tells them to go home, but they keep following.

As they near a swampy area known as "Quicksand Bottoms," Jones has a vision and directs Wallingham to camp the train next to the marsh for the night. At the same time the Irish teamsters, encouraged by Massingale, go on strike removing 10 wagons from the train. Willingham wants to take the wagons back by force, but Gearhart sees this as a labor dispute and threatens to use his troops to keep the peace.

That night about 30 of the women go to a camp meeting with the Indians and get them to sign temperance pledges (though there is some doubt that the Indians know what they are signing). In the middle of the meeting the Indians take the women hostage and tell Gearhart they will not release them unless they get 20 of the Wallingham wagons. This is eventually bargained down to 10, the exact number held by the Irish Teamsters and Gearhart decides to make the exchange to save the womens lives.

As it is illegal to give firewater to Indians, this will ruin Gearhart's career. Massingale comes to Gearhart's tent distraught about her part in this and asking his forgiveness. She breaks her own rule, drinks a few shots of whiskey and she and Gearhart have a tender moment.

Wallingham is upset by these events but Jones comes to him with a way out. Jones knows a secret way across quicksand bottoms that can be used by the train to escape the rest of the group. During the night he has marked the path with sticks flagged with red strips from his underwear. While the 10 wagons are being exchanged with the Indians, the rest of the wagon train will slip away, pull up the flags as they go, and be in Denver before anybody knows what happened.

The exchange is arranged for dawn the next day. The Indians will release three women for every wagon they get. At the last minute O'Flaherty confides in Massingale that the bottles in the 10 wagons aren't whiskey, but warm, volatile champagne that is likely to explode if treated roughly. This gives her an idea. As she is assigned a position at the exchange point, she can use a hatpin to prick the horses rear ends as soon as the Indian drivers climb onto the wagons. This sets the creatures into a gallop causing the wagons to shake and bounce uncontrollably on the rough ground. After the first few wagons are exchanged the remaining horses are so excited they stampede and the wagons head out with no drivers.

The remaining Indians leave the rest of the women hostages behind and jump on their horses to pursue the wagons. The troops go after the Indians and mistake the sound of champagne bottles exploding for gunfire and surround the Indians and the wagons. The Indians, drunk and tired of the whole thing, surrender and decide to go peacefully home with just a few of the bottles of booze not destroyed in the chase.

Meanwhile Wallingham and Jones try to slip away with the rest of the wagon train, but in the early hours of the morning Massingale and the women discovered the flags. Suspecting this was some scheme of Jones, they move the markers. This results in the wagons becoming hopelessly mired in the quicksand. Though the drivers and horses escape, the wagons themselves sink out of sight and Wallingham is forced into bankruptcy.

With the whiskey gone, the women are escorted back to Fort Russell where, in a double wedding, Slater marries Louise and Gearhart marries Massingale, who has decided to retire from the temperance movement.

Jones and Wallingham stake a homestead claim in Quicksand Bottoms where the occasional return to the surface of the bog of barrels of whiskey keeps them happy for a number of years.

The miners return to Denver, where, despite all predations to the contrary, the winter turns out to be one of the mildest ones ever on record.