- Sgt. Benson: [over the sounds of construction] Are those girls giving you any trouble?
- Officer Jones: Nope, they're all quiet now.
- Sgt. Benson: Will you speak up? I can't hear you.
- Officer Jones: [louder] Everything's fine.
- Sgt. Benson: Well, what's all that racket?
- Officer Jones: I dunno. I guess they're fixin' the streets out there.
- Sgt. Benson: They're what?
- Officer Jones: [louder] I said I guess they're fixing the streets out there!
- Sgt. Benson: Fixing the streets? At night?
- Officer Jones: Yeah, I guess all those college kids get in the way during the daytime.
- Andy: Who needs peanut butter with all this caviar around?
- Rusty Wells: Looks like our chaperone problem is taken care of itself.
- [Ogling bikini rear view of Deena walking along poolside, whistles]
- Rusty Wells: Come here; speaking about caviar...
- Brentwood Von Durgenfeld: I've given up the mental types. This is for me. Not much upstairs
- [looks admiringly at Sunny Daze]
- Brentwood Von Durgenfeld: but what a staircase!
- Rusty Wells: All right I'll be fare with everyone. We'll have a draw.
- Andy: A what?
- Rusty Wells: A number draw. The loser stays here on duty and keeps an eye on Val. What number am I thinking? All of you pick a number between one and ten.
- Andy: Seven.
- Wilbur: Two.
- Doc: Six.
- Rusty Wells: I'll say ten. The number was six. Sorry Doc, you loose!
- Andy: This year, I'm not playin' the field. No more of this runnin' around with every chick I meet. No sir. This year, I'm gonna pick me out about a half a dozen chicks and go steady with 'em.
- [first lines]
- Opening Narrator: This is Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Soon the beach will be jammed with Girl Happy boys on their Easter vacation. The boys come here for many, many reasons. And - good reasons, such as, 36-24-36.
- Brentwood Von Durgenfeld: Her name is Deena Shepard. Don't waste your time. She has absolutely nothing up here.
- [points to his head]
- Andy: Hey, yeah, what about all those other places?
- Rusty Wells: That's it boys, next stop: Fort Lauderdale! And girls!
- Andy: Girls!
- Wilbur: And more girls!
- Doc: I don't know, the roads are so icy, wouldn't it be better if we just waited a few days?
- Rusty Wells: Hmm-umm. Bikinis may go out of style.
- Brentwood Von Durgenfeld: I'm interested only in females with a mind. You take those girls out there. They're nothing. I mean, take away their bathing suits and - what do you have?
- Rusty Wells: [singing] Girls on the beaches commit a sin, They don't show yards and yards of skin...
- Brentwood Von Durgenfeld: Valerie. I left her with Romano.
- Rusty Wells: Who's Romano?
- Brentwood Von Durgenfeld: Romano Orlada, he's a friend of mine. But, nothing special. A very shallow intellect. In fact a bore. All he ever thinks of is sex. Well, you know those Latins.
- Betsy: These Cornell fellas took us to some awful place! You know, one of those after-hours places, all dark inside, couples snuggling every place. Just terrible! Mmmm. I never had such a great time in all my life.
- Sunny Daze: I say, taking off your clothes is a form of self improvement. You know, like playing the piano. It gives the girl poise and self-confidence and...
- Valerie: Pneumonia?
- Sunny Daze: [laughs] Pneumonia. You know, you really ought to try it. You sure got the build for it.
- Rusty Wells: Where is she? Where's Valerie? Is she all right?
- Wilbur: Yeah, she's all right but we woun't be as soon as Big Frank gets wind of this.
- Rusty Wells: I'm not worried about Big Frank. I gotta find her and explain.
- Doc: What have you got to explain?
- Andy: Wait a minute. How come all of a sudden you're so worried about her?
- [Rusty sheepishly looks at them as they all quickly figure out that he and Valerie are now romanticaly involved]
- Wilbur: No... it can't be.
- Doc: You mean you and her... him and her...?
- Andy: The King is dead!
- Rusty Wells: [into a phone] Hello? Oh, Mr. Frank...
- Big Frank: [into the phone] I just called Valerie and nobody even answers her phone. Where is she at this time of night? I'm warning you... if anything happens to my daughter, you're next engagement down there is going to be at the county hospital!
- 'Wolf Call' O'Brien: Hey, Rusty! How'd you get out?
- Andy: What out? He's trying to get in!
- 'Wolf Call' O'Brien: [to Rusty] You mean you want to be in jail?
- Wilbur: It's to see a girl.
- Doc: But he can't get in. It's impossible.
- 'Wolf Call' O'Brien: Interesting problem. Very interesting. A jail-break going the other way.
- Police Captain: [enters; angry tone] And just who's the lame-brain for making arrests on the college group plan?
- Sgt. Benson: Wait til you hear this chief...
- Police Captain: [cutting him off] Everyone's been calling the station! The mayor, the chamber of commerce, the newspapers... sounds like one of your bright ideas to get publicity for yourself, Benson!
- Sgt. Benson: But sir, what happened was there was a disturbance and brawl at the Kit Kat Club and so...
- Police Captain: [again cutting him off] Never mind! How many did you bring in from the raid?
- Sgt. Benson: Forty-six arrests.
- Police Captain: Forty-six? What are you doing? Competing with Sing-Sing?
- Sgt. Benson: No, sir.
- Police Captain: Next thing, you'll be arresting women.
- Sgt. Benson: Twenty. They're all back there.
- Police Captain: Oh, no! How many children?
- Sgt. Benson: None.
- Police Captain: [sarcastic] Oh, how did you miss out on that?
- Big Frank: Maybe I shouldn't be sore. Maybe we should go out to dinner and celebrate. It isn't often that I fly nearly 2,000 miles to get my daughter out of jail! Big pleasure for a parent!
- Valerie: Daddy, please! Don't you think I feel bad enough about this?
- Big Frank: And to think that I was getting to like that Rusty kid. Well, when I find him I'm personally gonna fix him good! This whole thing's his fault!
- Valerie: It's not all his fault! He was only doing what you told him to do!
- Big Frank: Why are you sticking up for him?
- Valerie: I'm not sticking up for him, I hate him!
- Rusty Wells: Wait a minute, guys! Who's gonna stay here and keep an eye on Valerie?
- Andy: I'm no good at protecting girls. I'm too well trained to get away! Now take Wilbur...
- Wilbur: [cutting him off] No way! I'm no watchdog. I'm a hunting dog. How about Doc?
- Doc: [to Rusty] Why don't you stay?
- Rusty Wells: Because I got to explain things to Deena tonight.
- Andy: If you can be with your girl, how come I can't be with mine?
- Rusty Wells: Because Deena's different. I'm in love with her.
- Wilbur: Yeah, your in love until she says no or dumps you.
- Rusty Wells: No, even if she says no, I'd still be in love with her. I'd miss her but I'd still love her.
- Doc: Hey, Rusty! That Valerie dame's gotta go! You have to get rid of her some way.
- Andy: I can't take it anymore! This is more then you can expect of protecting a young woman from any decent, self-respsecting, sex maniac!
- Wilbur: Well, I'm still lucky. We've been here chasing around Valerie for two nights now, and I've haven't been slapped by my girl even once.
- Rusty Wells: Sorry. There's nothing we can do about it fellas.
- Doc: Yes, there is! Why don't you call Big Frank on the telephone right now and tell him that his daughter shoudn't be here!
- Rusty Wells: [after a pause] I can't do it.
- Doc: Why not?
- Rusty Wells: I... I just can't. Big Frank might not like it.
- Andy: He'd appreciate it!
- Wilbur: He'd be crazy about it.
- Andy: Look, if you're chicken, I'll go phone him myself.
- Rusty Wells: I said it's too risky!
- Big Frank: Don't ever have girls - especially daughters!
- Rusty Wells: I'll try not to, sir.
- Big Frank: If I had a son, that would be great! He can go anywhere. Let somebody else's father do the worrying.
- Big Frank: Valerie's a very sensible girl.
- Rusty Wells: Well, that's good. Then, you don't have to worry about there being 30,000 *sex-starved* boys there.
- Rusty Wells: [singing] What a cutie pie I see, Oops shoopa doo-wah, Lips of honey that's for me, Shim sham shimmie, Wanna howl and shout...
- Rusty Wells: [singing] Pretty girls 18 to 23, If their technique ain't what it should be, Get love instruction for free from me...
- Rusty Wells: [singing] Have a ball, do it all, startin' tonight, Anything goes, everything goes, startin' tonight, Startin' tonight...
- Brentwood Von Durgenfeld: A girl with a mind at last. I'm Brentwood Von Durgenfeld. They call me BVD.
- Sunny Daze: [singing and stripping] Hey, Hey, What do you read? I - got - just what you need, I got a lot of things I wanna get off my chest, Come and get the latest, It's hot off the press, Read, read, improve your education, I got news for you, 1 - 2 - 3 - 4, Let me show you some more...
- Rusty Wells: [singing] Hey everybody gather round, Listen to that bongo sound, Grab the first one in your reach, Now we're going to shake the beach...
- Rusty Wells: Who's going to stay and protect her?
- Andy: I'm no good at protecting girls. I'm too well trained the other way. Now, you take Wilbur here.
- Wilbur: No, wait a minute. No, I'm no watch dog. I'm a huntin' dog.
- Rusty Wells: [singing] I miss those kisses from your honeycomb, This humble bumble bee just wants to fly back home...
- Rusty Wells: [singing] I gotta find my baby, I wonder where can she be, Has anybody seen her? Send her back to me, She left me here, All alone, And I ain't had no lovin', Hey, Hey, Hey, Since my baby's been gone...
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