Honeymoon Hotel

Only the silliest of the silly need register at the Honeymoon Hotel, a ridiculously dated 1964 comedy starring Robert Goulet and Robert Morse, two entertainers who only made a handful of movies. Neither one of them sings in it, but even if it had been turned into a musical, it still probably wouldn't have been saved. I sat through it for Nancy Kwan, Goulet's main love interest.

Jilted before his wedding, Morse and his best man Goulet decide to go on the honeymoon anyway, since it's all been paid for. At the very least, they'll have a good time and pick up a girl or two - but they failed to realize it was a honeymoon-only hotel. Every couple besides them (cue endless '60s jokes about two men sharing a room) are married, so good luck finding any women. There is Nancy, though, a fitness instructor, and Goulet catches on quick. She's very cute with her "Kwan bob" and shows off her figure with swimsuits and minidresses. Determined to show her up (but failing to do so) is Jill St. John, once again playing an unbelievably stupid bimbo. Whenever I see her in a movie, I stifle my frustration at her terrible acting and focus on the greater problem at hand: that Hollywood continued to write such characters she could play. Why hasn't every feminist in the country written her dissertation on St. John's insulting piece-of-meat characters and how they set back women's rights for years? Even Marilyn Monroe played more realistic roles.

But, if you absolutely love St. John, Kwan, both Roberts, Keenan Wynn, Elsa Lanchester, and Anne Helm, you can try this movie. You might not get all the way through it, but you can try it.