Tiara Tahiti

London Light prefaced this glossy little trifle largely shot in the South Seas with a stern admonition that this film contains "cultural depictions of its era". Presumably they had in mind Herbert Lom in oriental makeup that makes him looks like Dr No expressing his disdain for White Trash, talk of leper colonies and James Mason's sarcastic reference to his Tahitian girlfriend's forty-six relatives; yet even before the credits roll we're already treated to a bevy of dusky maidens gyrating grass skirts.

John Mills with his hair combed into an outrageous quiff plays a stiff-necked old colonel for whom nemesis comes in the form of Mason who, bless him, once again shows that for all his talent he just couldn't play comedy (witness his attempt at pidgen English).