A man. A movie. Mans inhumanity to the movie.
I have watched my share of garbage-amateur-horrible-z-grade horror, but Coleman Francis's: The Beast of Yucca Flats must be the worst ever! I cannot say I wasn't warned by other user comments, but such a warning only sparked my interest. If there ever was a movie, which deserved to be rated 1/10 this must be it.
The Plot: A defecting Russian scientist (Tor Johnson) is chased into atomic testing grounds by KGB agents, and he turns into a monster after he is exposed to a nuclear blast. You can tell he has turned into a monster because his hair is now white! The monster goes on a killing rampage, and two detectives venture out to stop him.
What went wrong: Short answer: Everything!
1. Dubbing. It took a while before I noticed that you never see any of the characters when they speak, so I checked the IMDb trivia section. Apparently the movie was shot without sound and later dubbed and to avoid out of sync problems the characters had their backs to the camera when talking or the camera focused on something else
It is hilarious to watch two people talk when the camera constantly shifts to the character that isn't talking. And then trying to get away with it for a whole hour
2. The "score". The score is so over the top dramatic that it adds to the fun. A man walks through the desert/prairie and suddenly he sees a Keep Out sign, and you are blasted backwards in your chair by the music. Judging by the music a Keep Out sign is so much scarier than getting stabbed while showering
I guess it is supposed to compensate for the missing suspense/horror/action on all the other fronts!
3. The Narrator. The funniest thing in the movie is the narrator (Coleman Francis himself), who speaks with a calm and intellectual voice. I don't think one word he spoke made any sense it's pseudo-intellectual dribble from the beginning to the end. We see a man lying in a hammock and the narrator goes: "Nothing bothers some people, not even flying saucers". I have no idea where he got flying saucers from there are none in the movie nor are they ever mentioned. We see the scientist walking into the testing grounds and the narrator says: "Touch a button. Things happen. A scientist becomes a beast". It's like that during the whole movie.
4. Acting and effects. If the movie was supposed to be scary it would all depend on the monster, but like I already mentioned it consists of Tor Johnson with some white stuff on his face. We see the horrible monster chase a couple of boys, but sadly the monster is so fat it cannot really run, but it can throw rocks and wave a big stick
There are a couple of gunfights in the movie, but the bullets don't make holes or draw blood
Now, this might all sound like it makes some kind of sense, but let me assure you that it does not! There are so many whys and WTFs in this movie!
I will join the 393 out of 527 who rated this movie 1/10, but the fun factor is a lot higher. I didn't end up hating the movie like I did with Troll 2. And hey
it's only 54 minutes!
