Raiders of the Seven Seas

First, the good news. This movie is only 4 minutes and 23 seconds old before John Payne takes off his shirt, revealing a V-shaped torso which, unlike many of his earlier unveilings, is gloriously unshaven and only a few years past its prime. Now the bad news. It's all downhill from here. Even fans of pirate B-movies will find this concoction an anemic affair which lacks energy and style and which, due to a tight budget, has a disappointingly studio-bound quality. Throwing in an "adorable" child actor only accentuates the vapidity of the proceedings.

John Payne manages to get by without serious damage to his reputation, aided, of course, by that bare-chest scene, but adding a reddish dye to his dark hair tends to make him look more silly than rakish. Donna Reed doesn't have the fire and flash needed for her part but, to be fair, no one could do much with lines such as: "I will enjoy (your company) even more when you are stretched to the four winds on a torture-rack!"

A better grade-B pirate movie from this era is "Prince of Pirates" with John Derek and Barbara Rush.