Chained for Life

Remember the old brain teaser, where someone is on trial for murder, and the judge states that though the party is clearly guilty, he is forced to set him free, and it turns out that the guilty person is a Siamese twin?? Well, someone decided to base an entire feature film around that brain teaser. "Chained for Life" stars the Hilton sisters; real life Siamese twins from the vaudeville era who play (guess what) Siamese twin vaudeville stars (vaudeville, by the way, was pretty much a dead issue by the time this film was made), one of whom gets involved with a gigolo who abandons her on her wedding night, and the terrible retributions that follow. The Hilton sisters seem to be quite competent singers (though somebody should pick out better songs for them to sing), but don't quite cut it as actresses. When one has dialogue, the other completely goes blank, as if she were somewhere else. Most of the film, though, is padded out with other corny vaudeville acts who add nothing to the story, but help bring the movie to feature length rather than being a short subject. And there's a dream sequence that's not to be believed. All in all, for exploitation completeists only.