The Lady Eve (1941)

Henry Fonda: Charles Pike

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Quotes 

• Charles : Do you think they're dancing anyplace on board?

  Jean : Don't you think we ought to go to bed?

  Charles : You're certainly a funny girl for anybody to meet who's just been up the Amazon for a year.

  Jean : Good thing you weren't up there two years.

• Charles : A girl of sixteen's practically an idiot anyway, so I can't very well blame you for something that was practically done by somebody else.

• Charles : And I have no right to be in your cabin.

  Jean : Why?

  Charles : I'm married.

  Jean : But so am I, darling. So am I.

• Steward : Breakfast, sir?

  Charles : What'd you say?

  Steward : I said, "Breakfast, sir?"

  Charles : Two scotch and sodas with plain water. You take it plain, don't you?

  Jean : Don't you take cream and sugar?

  Charles : No, I always drink it black.

  [pause] 

  Charles : Say, what am I talking about?

  Jean : That's what I was wondering.

  Steward : How about a nice bicarbonate of soda with an egg in it? It does wonders!

• Charles : [unaware he has been targeted by a couple of card sharps]  Have you seen this one?

  [performs childish sleight-of-hand trick] 

  Jean : Oh, he does card tricks!

• Jean : What were you doing up the Amazon?

  Charles : Looking for snakes. I'm an ophiologist.

  Jean : I thought you were in the beer business.

  Charles : Beer? Ale!

  Jean : What's the difference?

  Charles : Between beer and ale?

  Jean : Yes.

  Charles : My father'd burst a blood vessel if he heard you say that. There's a big difference. Ale's sort of fermented on the top or something, and beer's fermented on the bottom, or maybe it's the other way around. There's no similarity at all. You see, the trouble with being descended from a brewer, no matter how long ago he brewed it, or whatever you call it, you're supposed to know all about something you don't give a hoot about.

• Jean : [snuggling happily]  Oh, you don't know what you've done to me.

  Charles : [worried]  Terribly sorry.

  Jean : Oh, that's all right.

• Charles : You ought to put handles on that skull. Maybe you could grow geraniums in it.

• Charles : [speaking of card playing]  Now you, on the other hand, with a little coaching you could be terrific.

  Jean : Do you really think so?

  Charles : Yes, you have a definite nose.

  Jean : Well, I'm glad you like it. Do you like any of the rest of me?

• Jean : [spotting Charles]  Oh, there he is!

  Charles : [entering back among the party guests]  I had to change my coat.

  Mr. Pike : Well, don't knock the table over.

• Charles : There's just one thing. I feel it's only fair to tell you. It would never have happened except she looked so exactly like you.

• Charles : [sniffs]  Holy Moses!

  Jean : What's the matter?

  Charles : That perfume!

  Jean : What's the matter with it?

  Charles : Well, it's just that I've been up the Amazon for a year and they don't use perfume.

• Charles : They look too much alike to be the same.

• Charles : Men - that is, lots of men, are more careful in choosing a tailor than they are in choosing a wife.

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  That's probably why they look so funny.

  Charles : No, dear, they're more careful in choosing a tailor than in choosing a wife.

  Jean : Oh? But not you, Charles?

  Charles : That's right.

• Charles : What I am trying to say is - only I'm not a poet, I'm an ophiologist - I've always loved you. I mean, I've never loved anyone but you.

• Charles : Snakes are my life, in a way.

  Jean : What a life!

• Jean : Hello, Hopsie.

  Charles : Make it Charlie, will ya?

  Jean : Heh, all right. But there's something kind of cute about Hopsie. And when you get older I could call you Popsie - Hopsie Popsie.

• Charles : By the way, my name's Pike.

  Jean : Oh, everybody knows that. Nobody's talking about anything else. This is my father, Colonel Harrington. My name is Jean. It's really Eugenia. Come on.

  [She puts her arm in his and they walk off] 

• Charles : It's funny to be kneeling here at your feet talking about beer.

• Charles : Would you care to come in, and see Emma?

  Jean : That's a new one, isn't it?

• Charles : Why don't you marry one of them?

  Jean : Why should I marry anybody that looked like that?

• Jean : [after screaming and running down the hallway and ship's stairs to her room]  Why didn't you tell me you had a slimy...

  Charles : I thought you understood Emma was a snake.

  Jean : Well, how could I understand anything of the kind? Why should I suspect an apparently civilized man...

  Charles : Please.

  Jean : Oh, look under the bed.

• Jean : You have a right to have an ideal. Oh, I guess we all have one.

  Charles : What does yours look like?

  Jean : He's a little short guy with lots of money.

  Charles : Why short?

  Jean : What does it matter, if he's rich? It's so he'll look up to me, so I'll be his idol.

  Charles : That's a funny kind of reasoning.

• Charles : I shouldn't think that kind of idol was so difficult to find.

  Jean : Oh, he isn't. That's why he's my idol. What's the sense of having one if you can't ever find him?

• Jean : How was everything up the Amazon?

  Charles : All right, thank you.

• Charles : I wouldn't have frightened you for anything in the world. I mean, if there's anyone in the world I wouldn't have wanted to, it's you.

• Charles : You have the darnedest way of bumping a fellow down and bouncing him up again.

  Jean : And then bumping him down again.

• Jean : [as Lady Eve]  He was just a groom on father's estate.

  Charles : A groom?

  Jean : Well, not really the groom, of course. He, he used to put on the groom's uniform on his day off, then he'd be the groom that day. The rest of the time he was just a stable boy.

  [She laughs up a storm] 

  Charles : Stable boy?

  Jean : Yes, the boy who cleans up the stables.

• Charles : It couldn't have been on the SS Southern Queen between here and South America could it?

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  Oh, I'm afraid not. You see, I've never been in South America.

  Charles : You've never been in South America.

  Mr. Pike : She's never been in South America.

• Charles : No, it's just that this girl on the boat.

  Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith : There was a girl on a boat?

  Charles : She looked so exactly like your niece.

  Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith : Shhh! Did she have the McGlennan eyes? The cornflower blue?

  Charles : I think so.

  Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith : Then you must never mention a word of this to a soul.

  Charles , Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith : What do you mean?

  Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith : Shhh! You're rattling the skeleton in our family closet. I'm afraid you've stumbled on the sorrow of Sidwich, the secret of the century.

• Charles : Eve.

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  Yes, darling.

  Charles : If there's one thing that distinguishes a man from a beast, it's the ability to understand, and understanding, forgive. Surely, the qualities of mercy, understanding and sweet forgiveness...

  Jean : Sweet what?

  Charles : [Loudly]  Sweet forgiveness!

  Jean : Oh.

• Charles : When they brought you back, it was before nightfall, I trust?

  Jean : Oh, noooo.

  Charles : You were out all night?

  Jean : Oh, my dear, it took them weeks to find us.

• Charles : I hope your niece doesn't think I'm a half-wit.

  Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith : Oh, ho, bumblepuppy

  [sic] 

  Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith : . Why, she's used to having young men fall for her.

• Charles : Weren't her eyes closer together?

  Muggsy : They were not. They were right where they are, on each side of her nose.

• Charles : Who did you elope with?

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  Oh, now, I 've planted a seed in your mind. Are you sure you want to know? Oh, why don't we just forget the whole thing?

  Charles : Who was it?

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  Angus.

  Charles : Angus?

  Jean : Oh, I assure you, darling, he was no one of the slightest importance.

• Muggsy : That's the same dame. She looks the same, she walks the same and she's tossing you just like she done the last time.

  Charles : She doesn't talk the same.

  Muggsy : Anybody can put on an act.

  [He mimics Adolf Hitler speaking German] 

  Muggsy : Guess who I am.

• Jean : [as Lady Eve]  Isn't your son feeling well?

  Mr. Pike : What's the matter with you?

  Charles : Well, I mean to say, uh, haven't we met?

  Jean : But of course we have. Your father just introduced us.

• Charles : You're so fine. You're so - I don't deserve you.

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  Oh, but you do, Charles. If anybody ever deserved me, you do. So richly.

• Party Guest : Did you hear how the Lady Eve got to this country?

  Charles : How?

  Party Guest : You must promise not to tell a soul.

  Charles : I won't.

  Party Guest : In a submarine.

  Charles : No! Is that so?

• Jean : [as Lady Eve]  Oh, there he is.

  Charles : I had to change my coat.

  Mr. Pike : Well, don't knock the table over.

• Jean : [as Lady Eve]  I knew you'd be that way... . I knew you'd be both husband and father to me. I knew I could trust and confide in you. I suppose that's why I fell in love with you.

  Charles : Thank you.

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  I wonder if now would be the time to tell you about Herman.

  Charles : Herman. Herman? Who was Herman?

• Mr. Pike : All she wants is for you to go to New York and ask her.

  Lawyer at Phone in Pike's Office : It's a trick!

  Mr. Pike : Will you keep outta this. That's all she wants. When can you go?

  Charles : Oh, that's all she wants, is it? You can tell her if she's waiting for me to ask her, she'll wait till Havana freeze over...

• Charles : Cecil?

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  It's pronounced "Sess-il".

• Charles : Vernon? I thought you said his name was Herman?

  Jean : [as Lady Eve]  Vernon was Herman's friend.

  Charles : What a friend.

• Charles : The name of Angus will never cross my lips again, and I hope that you will do likewise. Now let us smile and be as we were.

• Mr. Pike : Will you talk to her?

  Charles : I'll rot before I'll talk to her.

• Jean : [as Lady Eve]  What did you say, dear?

  Charles : I said, how do you mean Hubert or Herbert?

  Jean , Charles : They were John's twin cousins.

  Charles : John? Who was John?

• Jean : Don't you like my perfume?

  Charles : Like it? I'm cockeyed on it.

  Jean : Why, Hopsie, you ought to be kept in a cage.