The Plainsman (1936)

Jean Arthur: Calamity Jane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Calamity Jane : Tip your hat when you speak to a lady!

  Wild Bill Hickok : I will... when I speak to a lady.

• Calamity Jane : Bill Hickok, you ornery son-of-a-mule! You wouldn't give a bad dime to a sick kid, would you?

  Wild Bill Hickok : You might be right, Calamity.

  Calamity Jane : No, I ain't. I know it, I ain't worth a bad dime.

• Calamity Jane : You're a mule-headed man, Bill Hickok.

• Calamity Jane : What are you smoking? Chalk?

• Calamity Jane : Maybe you're just bein' nice to me because you think you won't ever see me again.

  Wild Bill Hickok : Sure, sure I'll see you again. This is a big country and trails cross sometimes.

• Jack McCall : I'm gonna be a big man in this country.

  Calamity Jane : [Sarcastically]  You're gonna have to grow a foot, won't yuh?

• Steamboat Captain : Hi, Calamity.

  Calamity Jane : Hi, yourself.

  Steamboat Captain : Keeping company tonight?

  Calamity Jane : Yeah. Me and my six horses.

  Steamboat Captain : Well, seven's a lucky number. Count me in.

  Calamity Jane : You sailors are all alike.

• Calamity Jane : Bill! You mangy old coyote!

  [big kiss] 

  Calamity Jane : Bill, you're back!

  [Bill wipes his mouth] 

  Calamity Jane : Aw, you four flushing old mule. You ain't wipin' it off - you're rubbin' it in. Are you gonna stay in Leavenworth?

  Wild Bill Hickok : Are you?

  Calamity Jane : I could.

  Wild Bill Hickok : I'm going on to Hays City.

• Calamity Jane : Why didn't you write me any letters, Bill?

  Wild Bill Hickok : I didn't know you could read.

  Calamity Jane : Ha! I could read if you could write.

  Wild Bill Hickok : A woman who has a fella at every station and a beau in every calvary troop west of the Missouri - that woman doesn't need any letters from me.

  Calamity Jane : Aw, Bill, those fellers didn't mean nothin' to me.

  Wild Bill Hickok : Well, they did to me.

• Calamity Jane : Is that chipmunk yours? Did you bring her with ya?

  Wild Bill Hickok : What if I did? Its none of your business.

  Calamity Jane : Ain't it? After you run out on me - you slap-sided, bird totin' rat! You brung that honky-tonk mopsy...

  Wild Bill Hickok : Shut up, Calamity!

• Buffalo Bill Cody : Hi, Calamity!

  Calamity Jane : Well, Bill Cody. What are you doin' in them buzzard feathers?

  Buffalo Bill Cody : Pretty fancy, huh?

• Wild Bill Hickok : You've been driven for three days, you change horses 14 times, don't you ever change those beads you're wearing?

  Calamity Jane : I ain't wearin' 'em cause you give 'em to me. I wear 'em cause I like beads.

• Louisa Cody : It's so dusty and I haven't got my curtains done yet.

  Calamity Jane : Well, We'll help ya. Here, hey you long-legged two-spot, give your wife a hand. And here's the bodkin.

  Louisa Cody : Put it in that window over there Will.

• Calamity Jane : You ornery coot!

• Calamity Jane : That old coyote's got a toad in his gullet.

  Louisa Cody : It couldn't be an Indian, could it?

  Calamity Jane : Honey, when you hear somethin' yellin' at night around here, it's just some varmint. But, when you don't hear nothin', it's an Injun.

• Calamity Jane : Look, presents for my brothers, the Cheyenne - you red hyenas.

• Calamity Jane : I'll never tell you were they've gone, you hairless coyote!

• Calamity Jane : What do you think they'll do to us?

  Wild Bill Hickok : We'll soon find out.

• Calamity Jane : I don't want to die Bill. I don't want you to die.

  Wild Bill Hickok : Hang onto yourself.

  Calamity Jane : You'll have to help me Bill. Just like you did the first time I saw you. Remember? I was just a kid. I had no more sense than I got now. Headin' down the grave with no brakes on. I loved you then, Bill. Just like I do now.

• Calamity Jane : Bill, every night I talk to you, wantin' you. I know you feel the same way. Won't you tell me?

  Wild Bill Hickok : What difference would that make - now?

  Calamity Jane : If only I could hear you say it once. It would give me something - to keep. Like it was kinda holy. Like I could keep it forever.

• Calamity Jane : Forget it, will ya. You ain't got a chance against Lattimore's men.

  Wild Bill Hickok : Hmm. I've got nothing to lose.

  Calamity Jane : Nothin' but your life! Bill Hickok, when you talk like that I could bounce a rock off on your bean.

• Wild Bill Hickok : Why don't you try it, next time you see me.

  Calamity Jane : When will that be? Where?

  Wild Bill Hickok : Oh, up around Deadwood, someplace. You can never tell.

  Calamity Jane : I got to get outta here too, after what I done. Well, I guess this is goodbye, eh, Bill?

  Wild Bill Hickok : Where are you going?

  Calamity Jane : Oh, up around Deadwood, someplace, I guess. I don't give a hoot where I go.

• Calamity Jane : Bill, I reckon maybe you don't hate me. Do ya? Maybe you're just bein' nice to me because you think you won't ever see me again?

  Wild Bill Hickok : Sure. Sure, I'll see you again. This is a big country and trails cross - sometimes.

• Calamity Jane : Drinks ain't free, Dave.

  Dave : If you was a man, Calamity...

  Calamity Jane : Well, I ain't! So, plunk down four bits.

  Dave : You're a good bar keep, Calamity; but, you're awful ornery.

• Jack McCall : Hello, Calamity. Sherry and egg.

  Calamity Jane : Eggs are a dollar a piece.

  Jack McCall : I said egg and sherry.

  Calamity Jane : You'll get whisky and egg.

• Jack McCall : You ought to be makin' up to me. I'm gonna be a big man in this country.

  Calamity Jane : You'll have to grow about a foot, won't ya?