- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Your honor, as I recollect the procedure, at the time bein' I'm an ordinary member of the bar in good standing.
- Judge Floyd Fairleigh: Not ordinary, sir, but absolutely in good standing.
- Opening crawl: The figures in this story are familiar ghosts of my own boyhood. The War between the States was over, but its tragedies and comedies haunted every grown man's mind, and the stories that were swapped took deep root in my memory.
- Aunt Dilsey: Praise the Lord, Mr. 'Rome! Is you in or is you in?
- Jerome Priest: Hi, Aunt Dilsey!
- Aunt Dilsey: How come you here? The Judge say you up there at that college learnin' to be a lawyer man.
- Jerome Priest: Aunt Dilsey, I got stomach trouble.
- Aunt Dilsey: Lord, help you, white child. What them Yankees been feedin' you?
- Jerome Priest: Not a darn thing! That's the trouble. What have you got for supper?
- Aunt Dilsey: Mr. 'Rome, you stay here. I is goin' to kill the high-steppin'ist rooster in the yard and a great big bowl of gravy and grits.
- Jerome Priest: And waffles?
- Aunt Dilsey: Don't you worry none, honey, you is home now.
- Jeff Poindexter: I gotta have this good ole pretty vest, hangin' up in there, doin' nothin'.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: By Grant, well, placate you, I thought I told you to stay away from that vest.
- Jeff Poindexter: But, it just a got hung up on my arm.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: And you got my coat on there, too!
- Jeff Poindexter: Yes, but, this ole skunk coat
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Skunk coat!
- Jeff Poindexter: I mean possum.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: What do you mean, possum?
- Jeff Poindexter: A rabbit.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Rabbit? Say listen, every inch of that is raccoon. It better be raccoon. I took it off a rich Yankee.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Oh, Jeff! Jeff! Come on. Come on. Hurry up, here. Come on, here, when I holler at you. Where you been?
- Jeff Poindexter: Yes sir, well, I was just, I was...
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Say, listen. You want to, you want to earn that ole coon skin coat of mine?
- Jeff Poindexter: I can have that coon coat jacket? Thank you.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Hey, yeah, wait a minute, come back here. You can, if you do everything I tell you to. Ah, do you know a gentleman by the name of Mr. Horace Maydew?
- Jeff Poindexter: Yes sir, that mean man in that cold house.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Yeah. Well, now, you see that he gets that.
- [Hands him an envelope]
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: But, don't let him know how it got there.
- Jeff Poindexter: That's all I got to do? Thank you.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Say, wait a minute. Can, can you play Dixie on that thing, there?
- Jeff Poindexter: With that coon coat, yes, I play Dixie with Marching Through Georgia.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Wait, hey, Marchin' Through Georgia? Yeah, I got you out of one lynchin'.
- Jeff Poindexter: Yes, with that coon coat, I know I was going to get.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: If I catch you playin' that Marchin' Through Georgia, I'll join the lynchers.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Reverend Brand, before you come to this town, what was your occupation?
- Rev. Ashby Brand: In my early manhood, before I took holy orders, I had the honor to be a Captain of artillery in the late war.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: In the war of the rebellion?
- Rev. Ashby Brand: No sir. In the war for the Southern Confederacy.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: My, my error.
- Sergeant Jimmy Bagby: [Offering Priest a drink] Have a snifter? Good corn!
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: You can smell the feet of the boy that ploughed it!
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: That's sort of a novelty, Herman, - the barber gettin' cut up! Whoever cut him up couldn't have cut him up much if they used the barber's razor.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Hey, hey boy, wake up there. Sheriff, wake him up there. If anybody's going to sleep in this court, it'll be me.
- Sheriff Birdsong: Hey, wake up.
- Jeff Poindexter: What?
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Come here, boy. Come on over here. What's your name?
- Jeff Poindexter: Um, Jeff Poindexter.
- Senator Horace Maydew: Your honor. Your honor. Is this a court of law? I ask you, is this a court of law?
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Oh, now, now, now, Senator, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, don't get on your high horse, that way. You know, we ain't in any great hurry, but, a, incidentally, but, what are you, what are your charged with there, boy?
- Jeff Poindexter: Nothin' Judge. But, I wasn't there, them chickens, sho' nuff, I just fishin'.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Fishin'? Where was you fishin'?
- Jeff Poindexter: Down Sleepy River.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Here, come here, what, what do you use for bait?
- Jeff Poindexter: Oh, I got hunk of beef liver.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Beef liver?
- Jeff Poindexter: Yeah. Take the beef liver and put it on there and chuck it out there. Let them have the first piece, for nothin', see and then you put some more on there and chuck it out there and then they think they're going to get that for nothin' and then you catch 'em as long as you got the liver.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Alright, come on with that beef liver, now.
- Jeff Poindexter: Oh, the beef liver in the bait bag. I always keep it in here.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Hurry up now.
- Jeff Poindexter: That liver?
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Oh, gee, don't tell, don't tell me you ain't got it?
- Jeff Poindexter: Looks like that liver done walked off by itself.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Lord, I ain't gonna catch any catfish if I ain't got no bait. Take this dime, now. Hurry on back to town and get me that beef liver.
- Jeff Poindexter: Alright.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: Hurry up, now.
- Jeff Poindexter: Alright, sir. Actually runnin' now.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: You gonna put your shoes on?
- Jeff Poindexter: I gonna save 'em in case my feet wear out. Then, I have 'em.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: As much sittin' around you do, it won't be your feet that will wear out.
- Rev. Ashby Brand: What I'm worried about is this poor devil of a Gillis.
- Judge William 'Billy' Priest: You know Gillis?
- Rev. Ashby Brand: My trade takes me into queer quarters, sometimes.
- Judge Priest: You going to, uh, you gonna' stay for supper, ain't ya', Carrie?
- Mrs. Caroline Priest: Certainly I thank you, William. The Daughters of the Confederacy are having a chicken supper at Kate Maydews, and I'm late already.
- Judge Priest: Looks like you Daughters get more ferocious every year towards Yankees and, uh, fried chicken.
- Judge Priest: [Carrie laughs; he points to her breast badge] You got your badge on there.
- Mrs. Caroline Priest: Yes.
- Judge Priest: It's mighty pretty.
- Mrs. Caroline Priest: [leaves] Goodnight, William.
- Judge Priest: Sometimes I, uh, I think you women got more badges and medals out of the war than the soldiers did. Goodnight, Carrie.
- Mrs. Caroline Priest: William, I'm not a woman to beat about the bush. This business of Rome and that girl next door has got to stop!
- Judge Priest: What have you got against Ellie May? She's an awful sweet girl, seems to me. She's got gumption, and teaches school, and supports herself...
- Mrs. Caroline Priest: I don't want to be unkind. She may be a very nice girl and all that, but after all, Rome is one of the Kentucky Priests, and the name of Priest *means* something in Kentucky.
- Judge Priest: Well, I've, I've never heard that it meant intolerance.
- Mrs. Caroline Priest: It means good stock. And family pride. You know the kind of stock she comes from.
- Judge Priest: Yep. Her, uh, her ma come to this town penniless, and died - givin' birth to Ellie May. I remember the night. She was a frail little woman. Uh, wasn't any bigger than Ellie May is now, and, just as pretty.
- Mrs. Caroline Priest: But *who* was her father?
- Judge Priest: Well, uh, nobody don't, uh, rightfully know.
- Mrs. Caroline Priest: Well, family may not mean anything to you, but it means a whole lot to me. I'm not going to have my grandchildren come into the world under a cloud.
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