The Matchbreaker

[First lines]

Sam: Why'd you breakup with her?

Ethan Cooper: Seven reasons actually. Number one, she doesn't vote.

Sam: Eh!

Ethan Cooper: Shh! Number two, she cheered for Bulgaria in the last Olympics.

Sam: Bulgarians don't even cheer for Bulgaria.

Ethan Cooper: Okay, so it was one Bulgarian and he was missing an arm.

Sam: The rest of the time she cheered for America?

Ethan Cooper: Yes.

Sam: Okay, that one's a stretch too. Look, why don't you just forget your seven reasons and admit that you only need one to talk yourself out of any girl.

Ethan Cooper: What's that?

Sam: That she's not Emily.