Ship of the Damned

The plot is very amateurish. But that never really matters. Nor does the really cheesy set that is supposed to be the innards of a pirate ship. Then the movie just becomes a matter of the ancient crew and the modern preservationist lady spending hours kickboxing or something. There is really nothing to describe as really nothing happens.

There are some dumb scenes that are supposed to show rituals or backstory about how the ship and crew survived so long and were slightly educated regarding modern times. Yet nothing goes anywhere. Because everything is confined to the cheap set. With no plot! And zero tension.

Hot ex-boyfriend who invited preservationist lady to investigate the ship hides like a scaredy-cat for most of the movie. Then he doesn't. And that pans out as well as expected.

After that, the movie ends stupidly. In the presence of orange slices. Arrr, there be no entertainment here, mateys.