Tirante el Blanco

Oh boy! What a shameful experience. Stakes were high with this one. Four fine actresses on a 'Dangerous liaisons' type of film but somehow in the process everything witty and entertaining contained in this great novel of the 15h century was lost in translation.

The film gives no clue whatsoever if the tales being told have anything to do with some army in particular in some period of history or with the lord of the rings saga..

(Hint: the turks are the orks, and Tirant resembles Aragorn, though no Virgo Mortensen in sight just a lookalike). (Another hint: the standard flag of Tirant's side in battle scenes)

The film carries a solemnity that echoes through the halls and chambers of every step of flight of stairs of the palace in which the static action takes place. Can you hear my yawn from the aisles of the castle?

Esther Nubiola as Carmesina -the princess-, Ingrid Rubio as Estephania, Leonor Watling as Pleasureofmylife, Victoria Abril as the Peacefulwidow and Jane Asher as the queen do their best in trying to liven things up.

But the dead funeral air of Vicente Aranda's take at sex scenes won't make you have a hard on if it's not in the way of rigor mortis.