The Screentest Girls

When boys go into puberty they dream and fantasize all day. About girls, of course. And mainly about how to get the girls out of their clothes quickly. One of the ways is of course: imagine yourself to be a famous movie director or movie producer. Girls will line up to take off their clothes for you! And you can make them do whatever you like. I think all adult men will remember this dream from their own past.

Now here is Zoltan G. Spencer. He is an adult, but still remembers his dreams from way back. So, he makes a movie about his dream. He is not only the director, but the producer as well and is an actor in this one. And there are a lot of girls and they all take their clothes off. Oh boy, did he have a good time.

The same can not be said for the movie fans. There is no story at all. We are confronted with nudity 99.99% of the time. There are very few real sex scenes and these are done in a very particular way, typical of 1969: female genitals are shown, male genitals are never shown. The acting is irritatingly bad. Sometimes bad acting makes you laugh out loudly, but here it only annoys you. There is one scene where an ape tortures and rapes a girl. Rarely have I seen any this clumsily made. Maybe the fans of the worst of the worst get a laugh out of that scene, but alas, not me.

This movie is a real stinker. And of course was put on video by Something Weird Video, the one firm in the world that never lets us down. They just keep on digging in the trash bins of the movie industry. And for their standards this is a jewel. For all real movie fans this should have been undiscovered. Trash bins do have a purpose, you know!