Talons of the Eagle

I'd give this a 5.5 maximum out of 10. This movie stars a dollar store hybrid of a shorter Steven Seagal as he sports a pony tail and the leather jackets, JCVD with the unidentifiable accent and the good looks of someone along the lines of Joe Pesci or Sardo (Richard Dumont) from Are You Afraid Of The Dark minus those beautiful curls. What surprised me is how almost every training scene he's sweaty. The only thing nice I'll say about the actor is I love his Ellesse track suit. He looks like a walking, talking Jazz paper cup. I kept calling the actor Steven Fauxgal.

For a movie shot in Toronto you don't see much of the city and they insist on using US currency. You can spot Canadian money a mile away due to the colors. What surprised me was that Matthias Hues was in this.

The story is pretty bland and forgetful where they seem heavily inspired by films such as Bloodsport (1988), yet after a few poorly shot fights they just go back into this incredibly mediocre action movie. They even got Michael to do the splits. I can't get over how short he is compared to Billy Banks. I hated how much they relied on vents in this movie as well.

Billy and Michael seemed to have chemistry, more so than say Lethal Weapon 1 or 2 or possibly the Rush Hour franchise. There was some heart to this as there was quite a lot of explosions. The fight choreography was OK, not great. Perhaps it was the opponents. I don't know. I'm not in the movie industry. The last 10 or 15 minutes should have been the best but I was just so bored I didn't care. I would have scrapped all the scenes and started over if the budget would have allowed it.

My least favorite scene in the entire movie was where Michael is in the speedo. His shirt is on inside out and there's a really cringy shower scene. You can tell the girl was more in quantum physics. There's some REALLY ugly strippers in this movie as well.

The only two Canadian things in this movie where one biker said "eh", the Toronto police cop car and of course the cop had to watch hockey.

One weird credit they said "tourney fighters" and early on in the movie they had the lights too bright on a corpse and his eyes are twitching.