La moglie del prete

Monsignor Caldana: You've got a mama, haven't you? And you know how mamas are. They like to keep their sons around the house but they prefer their sons to do their hanky panky out of the house, as long as they come home at night for dinner, and the church is a jealous mama like all mamas.

Nun: Yes. The church is like a mama. You know that.

Don Mario: Oh, so you're advising me to live in an ambiguous dirty way... to get myself a girlfriend on the sly... like those priests who go to bed with their housekeepers and the nuns.

Nun: What is he saying about nuns?

Don Mario: There isn't anything to worry about as far as you're concerned.

Monsignor Caldana: Well, wh-what has this got to do with me? What are you asking for? Renounce your vows. Get castrated. I don't care! But leave me in peace. I'm too old, I'm too tired and I'm sick. I'm fed up with you and your vows of celibacy. That's all there is to it!

[Nun jabs him with needle]

Monsignor Caldana: Ahhh! St. Lorenzo the martyr!

Nun: Shame on you. Just a nip in the bottom.