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362 pages, Hardcover
First published June 2, 2015
“I’m not a witch,” I repeat. “I mean, I did have witches’ herbs. And I did take them. But I’m not a witch.” Even to me, this sounds weak.This book compares itself to Game of Thrones. Don't even. Just don't.
"And no more mistakes, okay? I can’t keep covering for you.”So this powerful awesome 16-year old witch hunter is off to her next mission as we start the book, and immediately, she fucks up.
I think of all the things I’ve done wrong in the past month. The witch I chased down the alley who nearly got away. The chimney I got stuck in trying to find a hidden cache of spellbooks. The cottage I stormed that didn’t house wizards brewing potions but a pair of aged friars brewing ale. They’re just a few mistakes, true. But I don’t make mistakes.
At least, I didn’t used to.
“What the hell happened?”After a long day of fucking up, she goes with her fellow witch-hunter (and love interest #1) to a pub. As if fucking up wasn't bad enough, love interest #1 revealed that *gasp* he's dating another girl. Heartbroken, Elizabeth buries her sorrows by drinking a horrifying quantity of absinthe. Underaged drinking aside, drinking a type of alcohol that was banned by France for years (come on, FRANCE! This is a country in which children were weaned on red wine. It's pretty bad shit if France bans it), and then going home alone isn't the best idea ever. She runs, or rather, stumbles drunkenly into a few shady men in a dark alley.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I guess I made a mistake.”
“Pretty.” I wave my hands, trying to catch the ribbons of light spiraling in front of me. A chorus of voices fills the room then—they’re coming from the rainbow. “Listen. Can you hear that? The rainbow is singing!” I open my mouth and sing along with it. “Greensleeves, la-la-la who but my Lady Greeeensleeeeves…”Obviously, going with some strange men when you're out of your mind drunk is not the best idea ever.
He picks his pipe off the ground and tucks it inside his cape, then he takes me by the arm and leads me to the door. I take offense to this. He really shouldn’t be touching me, him a pirate and me a young girl and all. And I definitely shouldn’t be letting a strange man lead me outside and to God knows where. But I can’t seem to stop singing long enough to tell him this.But the fun doesn't stop there, because this top-secret witch hunter is so drunk she practically reveals who she is to the strange men.
“No. It’s just… I didn’t know maids were allowed to go to masques.”So she's a highly trained witch hunter who completely loses control of herself. Welp, that's just great. Who the fuck trained her to be so deadly, Celaena Sardothien?Because she allowed herself to get so drunk, she somehoe bumbles into yet another mess that sees her arrested for being a witch.
Damnation. He’s right, of course. Maids can’t go, but I wasn’t going as a maid; I was going as a witch hunter. Not that it matters, since I’ll be wearing a mask and no one will see my face anyway.
“Elizabeth Grey, by the authority of King Malcolm of Anglia, I am commanded to arrest you for the crime of witchcraft. You are hereby ordered to return with us to Fleet prison for detention and to await your trial, presided over by the Inquisitor, Lord Blackwell, Duke of Norwich. If you are found guilty, you will be executed by burning, your land and goods forfeit to the crown.” A pause. “So help you God.”She gets put in jail to be sentenced to die, but luckily, she's rescued by the very people she captures...the wizards! (who don't know she's a witch hunter) And the first thing she does once she's rescued is to...reveal that she's a witch hunter.
“You prowl around the king’s palace like a rat in the rafters.” George holds up a finger. “You crushed a glass in your hand, yet there’s not a scratch on you. You’re all moony over this Caleb, who just happens to be the new Inquisitor.” He holds up three fingers now. “And where’d you learn to throw knives at birds like that? The circus?” He narrows his eyes. “You’re a witch hunter.”Bloody brilliant. Despite all this bumbling, despite all this idiocy, she is still the special girl who holds the key to everything. You expect me to believe that shit?
“Stop.” He sticks his leg out in front of me. “I’ll tell you. You’re here because Nicholas needs to find something. Whatever it is, it’s important. According to Veda, you’re the only one who can get it.”The world building is confusing as fuck. So we have the fictional country of Anglia in which magic is banned. Witches are burned at the stake, because 5 years ago, there was a plague that swept the country...and it was started by wizards! Therefore, all magic is now bad, evil, no good.
What Magic User Are You?
The Necromancer
Description: A person who uses magic to communicate and summon the dead.
Top 3 Spells:
Call Undead - summons an undead to do the user's bidding
Tap Life - transfers life from target to the user
Ritual of Blood - a complex spell that calls and combines several dead souls to create a ghoul
The Alchemist
Description: a person who uses magic to mix and combine herbs to create potions of varying effects.
Top 3 Potions:
The Flask of Disease - a concoction that makes the body decay and rot
The Flask of Life - a concoction that allows the body to heal itself faster
The Flask of Strength - a concoction that gives the user increased strength for a limited time
The Seer
Description: a person who uses magic to predict/see the future and clairvoyance.
Top 3 Spells:
Epiphany - sees into the future
Brainstep - invades the mind of a target to see and hear what he is seeing and hearing
Brainstun - stuns the target's mind (giving him paranoia is optional and deadly)
The Healer
Description: a person who uses magic to heal others.
Top 3 Spells:
Heal - makes the target's body heal itself faster
Revive - resuscitates targets that are at the edge of death (cannot work on those that are already dead)
Barrier - places an invisible shield on the target, protecting them from spells/curses
The Witch
Description: a woman who uses magic to create a variety of spells.
Top 3 Spells:
Shackle - binds and roots one or more people together by an invisible shackle for a limited time
Hell's Inferno - creates a wall of fire between the user and the target
Crow's Nest - helps cure diseases
The Wizard
Description: a man who uses magic to create a variety of spells
Top 3 Spells:
Heaven's Fire - creates several fire balls to be thrown to an area or target
Transfer - transfer user's life to a target
Teleport - teleports the user to another place (how far depends on wizard's skill)