What do you think?
Rate this book
399 pages, Hardcover
First published July 27, 2023
Your life isn’t unremarkable. You are merely living in the wrong time. Find your Perfect Dimension ™. Embrace your destiny— whether it be to bring Promethean light or exert relentless domination— and travel the dimensions. Become a wizard.
In the early 1960s, science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke formalized what would become his most famous truism: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. This can be further extrapolated to Bagsworth’s Law ™: Any sufficiently trained modern person can become a god to those from previous eras. You may be mediocre by today’s standards. But in grade school you were taught a fundamental understanding of science, nature, and medicine— power that can establish dynasties, save millions of lives, and fundamentally change the world. And there are enough dimensions that each and every one of us can have our own.
“No, my lord,” Sefawynn said, tugging on my sleeve. “That is too cruel, even for them.” “Silence, thrael!” I bellowed at her. “Or I shall Nintendo you!”
“The way we respond to bad turns is the only thing we have control over.”
“Killing is desperation, not strength. To live without killing… that is a strong society. If the reverse were true, my lands would not be withering away, like crops long without water…” Damn, that guy could be profound. And depressing. Five stars. Should be narrating documentaries about disasters like Chernobyl. Or my love life.
“The more I’ve studied history, the more I’ve realized that grand achievements aren’t so much about aptitude as about timing. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, history will fill important roles with the people it has available.”
“We get the word “wizard” itself from the same root as “wisdom.” While modern pop culture has co-opted the term to evoke the image of long beards, pointy hats, and the occasional bescarred boy with a wand, in ancient times it wasn’t so much the magic that identified these individuals. It was knowledge. Yes, this knowledge is often attached to the arcane or unseen in the stories— but what is magic but a science not yet discovered? In the life you now live, you might think yourself unaccomplished, stuck in a rut. You might mourn at how little you’ve accomplished. But in the scope of the history of humankind, you are a god. The knowledge you hold from a simple high school education is vast compared to the comprehensive knowledge of some of the weightiest minds in history. You carry technological marvels that could literally topple kingdoms in your pocket, or perhaps embedded in your own body.
“Do not be ashamed of your joy… Regardless of what aelv Ryan says. This is not a thing of shame. It is why I fight. It is why my sons bled. Never be ashamed of joy.”
(4) Legal note: Our Plague-free Guarantee™ is void for all customers who refuse personal medial nannites. Enter your dimension at your own risk. Maybe bring a prefitted casket.
(5) Are you a kind soul or a medical buff who wants to purchase a dimension that IS undergoing a massive global pandemic? Ever wish to single-handedly cure the Black Death? See our fantastic Packages section for more info on how you can! See page 191. Pandemic dimensions are available at a steeply reduced price, depending on the severity of the pandemic. Warning: These dimensions have limited lifespans.
“Can I have a dimension full of talking bananas?”
“No.”
“Silence, thrael!” I bellowed at her. “Or I shall Nintendo you!”
“(That’s a little interdimensional humor. Our dimensions are perfectly safe.¹)
¹Legal Disclaimer: This statement is made for entertainment purposes only. The interdimensional traveler takes any and all responsibility for all killings, maimings, injuries, dismemberments, and impalements that might happen to them in their respective dimensions. In the event of a dispute, you agree to arbitration, to be adjudicated in the dimension of our choice.”
”I was unarmed and confused. If I were to saunter in, explain that I technically owned all of this, and ask them to kindly obey me…I suspected they’d saunter over to me, explain that the sword they’d rammed into my gut didn’t care what I claimed, and ask me to kindly avoid bleeding on the rug.”
“Damn, that guy could be profound. And depressing. Five stars. Should be narrating documentaries about disasters like Chernobyl. Or my love life.”
"La vida no es una partida de dados, en la que a cada tirada tienes la misma probabilidaad de ganar que la anterior. En la vida real, cuando pierdes un poco, empiezas a preguntarte si es que mereces perder. Te pones nervioso, cometes errores, sobrecompensas. Eso hace que pierdas más, y se va acumulando."
"Eran quienes construían, no quienes tomaban, la gente que cambiaba el mundo."
"Resulta que la dignidad no puede quitártela nadie. Tienes que renunciar tú a ella."
(4) Legal note: Our Plague-free Guarantee™ is void for all customers who refuse personal medial nannites. Enter your dimension at your own risk. Maybe bring a prefitted casket.
In the life you now live, you might think yourself unaccomplished, stuck in a rut. You might mourn at how little you’ve accomplished. But in the scope of the history of humankind, you are a god. The knowledge you hold from a simple high school education is vast compared to the comprehensive knowledge of some of the weightiest minds in history. You carry technological marvels that could literally topple kingdoms in your pocket, or perhaps embedded in your own body.
“Life is awful sometimes,” I said instead. “So you cope.”
“Others cope without grifting,” she said. “Ealstan does it by helping people survive.”
“And those Hordamen do it by ripping people apart,” I said. “Burning down villages. On that scale, you’re not doing so bad.”
She stretched, then stood, brushing off her dress. “Thanks,” she said. “For not judging.”