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362 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 25, 2021
“As many tomorrows as you want, goddess. They’re all yours.”
“I’d spent the last three years honing my theatrical skills around Owen Montgomery: pretending I didn’t notice him, pretending I didn’t hear his cultured, British accent icing up the hallways, pretending I didn’t smell the subtle notes of his Dior cologne whenever he sat in front of me in class.”
“Where are you trying to go?”
“Away from you. To be alone.”
“Why? What did I say?”
“Nothing,” she said, venom overflowing in her tone. “You said nothing for the last three years. You literally had no idea who I was even though we’ve gone to school together forever. Jesus Christ.”
The panic bled back into my displeasure then, and I reached for her. “Don’t leave. Don’t walk away from this. Who cares about the last three years? I want you now—”
“It’s too late, asshole,” she said
“He sighed. “Why are you being like this? I thought we were having fun.”
“I’m being like this because I know you know I’m the scholarship kid. I’m not the kind of girl who goes shopping on a whim. I’m not the kind of girl who doesn’t plan out all her expenses. I’m not the kind of girl you’re used to. But that doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself. It doesn’t mean that I can’t get the things that I need for myself. Matter of fact—”
I didn’t get to finish. Not because I’d lost my train of thought, not because I’d had no idea what to say, not even because he’d tried to talk over me. I lost my train of thought because Owen Montgomery dragged me close and shut me up.
With his lips.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, in what was likely an automatic response.
For heaven’s sake, he was apologizing? Fucking apologizing?
“You’re apologizing for kissing me? Or for not letting me finish talking? Or because I’m so disgusting to you, you can’t believe that you kissed me? Which is it?”
He opened his mouth, and then shut it again. “Forget it.”
“Wow, you are such a dick. Not just because you kissed me without asking my permission, or interrupted me when I was talking, but because you apologized with an ‘I don’t know what came over me,’ as if you weren’t in your right mind. Do you know how insulting that is?”
“Those weren’t mistakes, Felix. Those things are who he is. And now someone else was hurt and scared because none of us would act on it.”
“Don’t put it on yourself,” Felix said. “It wasn’t your job to—”
“It’s everyone’s job,” I interrupted. “It’s everyone’s job to watch out for monsters, Felix. And the more we make excuses for them—the more we think, Oh, he’s not that bad, and if he gets bad, someone else will do something, so I don’t have to—the more chances they have to hurt someone for real. I knew him better than most other people in our circle. I should have made him leave. I should have warned everyone what he was like.”
“With every word of hers, I flinched. “No, just listen to me. I—”
“I’m done listening to you, Owen Montgomery. I’m done.”
“Tanith, come on. Let’s just keep talking about this and figure out where I’ve gone wrong.”
She shook her head. “No. Not if you can’t see how you hurt me”
“And so, there was only one more year of being hopelessly, stupidly, perversely in love with Owen Montgomery.”